Good Morning.
What does it feel like to feel human? To have thing's mean so much to you, to no longer be indifferent on everything, and or completly negative. To smile all the time and be assumed to be the girl that is always happy? It's undescribable.
This morning was wonderful. Last night I fell asleep for you, because you asked me to I think is how sleep came so easily. I woke up this morning the phone still in my hand. I was half asleep half awake when the phone started to ring and it took a few moments for me to realize that the ringing was real, I looked at the caller ID and seeing that it was you I hurried up and hit the Talk button, afraid you were just about to hang up because to me it sounded like the phone had rung forever.
Your voice is the sweetest thing in the morning to hear, I love it being the first thing to greet my ears, the first real stimuli to my brain creating lovely thoughts and offering beautiful reminders of how wonderful my life is. This mornings greeting pleasure was the new's that another trip out to your aunts house was arranged and your mother (<3) had wondered if I would like to join you guy's. You adding in that I would only have a few minutes (45 minutes was way more than a few) to get ready I pulled the covers back with a tired silly grin on my face. Laying out everything I had to do before you got there in my head before my feet even touched my floor. *If they even touched my floor it's so messy I'm not sure*.
I walked out my door and confirmed these plans with a mother of mine who was very much still asleep when she gave me my answer. Accepting it however we said our goodbyes with loves and clicked off the phone. We had agreed we'd wear jammies since you had no time to get ready and we'd just relax. So I turned on the water to a satisfying tempature and left the bathroom to go to my bedroom to gather some shower thing's I'd taken to your house yesturday for the shower I took there.
Once I was clean and dressed back into clean jammies I started to walk around the house gathering things I might need. Naturally I started to pack my laptop back assuming I'd be accompaning you back to your house like last time. I pulled from it the old alcohol smelling candies and replaced in there a blanket figuring I'd bring my own blanket so we'd have two, or if you wanted to snuggle up in your own I wouldn't be cold. All packed and ready I realized I'd probably have some more time before you got there, I turned on my computer to check messages, which I had none since you woke me up and we went to sleep at the same time, who else would bother contacting me. I turned the computer off and headed for the kitchen where I decided to pack some tea in my laptop back. Teabags that is.
Here I proceeded to make myself a cup of tea and then I decided that you probably wouldnt have had time to grab anything to drink or eat before leaving the house, and so I found one of my thermoses and washed it out and made you a thing of tea, however in this process I saw your mother pulling up the driveway. I hadn't touched my tea yet and it was in a glass mug, not having time to wash another thermos out I just grabbed yours, and headed down stairs to get my stuff that was waiting for me. You were already at the door, I felt bad that you had to come to the door, you really shouldnt have had, I should have already been ready and waiting. I however greeted you with the tea in which you smiled and gave me a kiss. The simplest thing's make you happy and I love it so much.
When we got into the car you looked around and claimed you had forgotten to bring your blanket. This actually surprised me, but I felt spiffy here because then I opened my bag and pulled from it my grandfathers blanket. Again the simple joy of the smallest things, it's all over your face, and it just makes me tingle. So off to your aunt's we set cuddled under the one material thing that ever meant anything to me, with the person that means the most to me, and some oolong tea.
Spending the morning and afternoon with you was wonderful. I felt so comfortable laying on that couch with you, but still slightly guilty that here we were isolating oursevles from your family, on their couch, in our jammies all cuddled up and kissing. I would have loved to have kissed you more, but the reaction it brought from everyone else made me nervous, I'm always afraid of being unpolite to adults...that are not my own parents.
I enjoyed you laying down resting your head sort of in my lap, your arms wrapped around my leg, while I massaged your hair / scalp and ran my fingers along your face. Our morbid little conversation about how I could kill you in 3 different way's with the position you were laying at, but how I wouldn't want to. How in the future we should kill each other. I love that. The best part of the day had to have been you falling asleep though with your head in my lap like that. You're rather peaceful when you sleep and I felt special that you could finally fall asleep around me.
The worse part of the day of course was having to leave you, coming home, but goodbyes with us are always so sweet and long, I love you so much Eric... Keep me. Even if I do listen to music you don't really agree with ;).
The only real horrible part of this day is that my stomach is killing me like no other, I'm sort of concerned, I want to just shoot it or something and let it splatter against a wall behind me... if only I could function after that, like let it settle its differences on the wall and once it's calm, sew it all back in again.
This morning was wonderful. Last night I fell asleep for you, because you asked me to I think is how sleep came so easily. I woke up this morning the phone still in my hand. I was half asleep half awake when the phone started to ring and it took a few moments for me to realize that the ringing was real, I looked at the caller ID and seeing that it was you I hurried up and hit the Talk button, afraid you were just about to hang up because to me it sounded like the phone had rung forever.
Your voice is the sweetest thing in the morning to hear, I love it being the first thing to greet my ears, the first real stimuli to my brain creating lovely thoughts and offering beautiful reminders of how wonderful my life is. This mornings greeting pleasure was the new's that another trip out to your aunts house was arranged and your mother (<3) had wondered if I would like to join you guy's. You adding in that I would only have a few minutes (45 minutes was way more than a few) to get ready I pulled the covers back with a tired silly grin on my face. Laying out everything I had to do before you got there in my head before my feet even touched my floor. *If they even touched my floor it's so messy I'm not sure*.
I walked out my door and confirmed these plans with a mother of mine who was very much still asleep when she gave me my answer. Accepting it however we said our goodbyes with loves and clicked off the phone. We had agreed we'd wear jammies since you had no time to get ready and we'd just relax. So I turned on the water to a satisfying tempature and left the bathroom to go to my bedroom to gather some shower thing's I'd taken to your house yesturday for the shower I took there.
Once I was clean and dressed back into clean jammies I started to walk around the house gathering things I might need. Naturally I started to pack my laptop back assuming I'd be accompaning you back to your house like last time. I pulled from it the old alcohol smelling candies and replaced in there a blanket figuring I'd bring my own blanket so we'd have two, or if you wanted to snuggle up in your own I wouldn't be cold. All packed and ready I realized I'd probably have some more time before you got there, I turned on my computer to check messages, which I had none since you woke me up and we went to sleep at the same time, who else would bother contacting me. I turned the computer off and headed for the kitchen where I decided to pack some tea in my laptop back. Teabags that is.
Here I proceeded to make myself a cup of tea and then I decided that you probably wouldnt have had time to grab anything to drink or eat before leaving the house, and so I found one of my thermoses and washed it out and made you a thing of tea, however in this process I saw your mother pulling up the driveway. I hadn't touched my tea yet and it was in a glass mug, not having time to wash another thermos out I just grabbed yours, and headed down stairs to get my stuff that was waiting for me. You were already at the door, I felt bad that you had to come to the door, you really shouldnt have had, I should have already been ready and waiting. I however greeted you with the tea in which you smiled and gave me a kiss. The simplest thing's make you happy and I love it so much.
When we got into the car you looked around and claimed you had forgotten to bring your blanket. This actually surprised me, but I felt spiffy here because then I opened my bag and pulled from it my grandfathers blanket. Again the simple joy of the smallest things, it's all over your face, and it just makes me tingle. So off to your aunt's we set cuddled under the one material thing that ever meant anything to me, with the person that means the most to me, and some oolong tea.
Spending the morning and afternoon with you was wonderful. I felt so comfortable laying on that couch with you, but still slightly guilty that here we were isolating oursevles from your family, on their couch, in our jammies all cuddled up and kissing. I would have loved to have kissed you more, but the reaction it brought from everyone else made me nervous, I'm always afraid of being unpolite to adults...that are not my own parents.
I enjoyed you laying down resting your head sort of in my lap, your arms wrapped around my leg, while I massaged your hair / scalp and ran my fingers along your face. Our morbid little conversation about how I could kill you in 3 different way's with the position you were laying at, but how I wouldn't want to. How in the future we should kill each other. I love that. The best part of the day had to have been you falling asleep though with your head in my lap like that. You're rather peaceful when you sleep and I felt special that you could finally fall asleep around me.
The worse part of the day of course was having to leave you, coming home, but goodbyes with us are always so sweet and long, I love you so much Eric... Keep me. Even if I do listen to music you don't really agree with ;).
The only real horrible part of this day is that my stomach is killing me like no other, I'm sort of concerned, I want to just shoot it or something and let it splatter against a wall behind me... if only I could function after that, like let it settle its differences on the wall and once it's calm, sew it all back in again.