(no subject)
I've been very unhappy over the past month or so I think. I didn't invision my life being this way or putting up with so much bullshit from my husband's ex. Everyone I talk to tells me to toughen up and not let her words get to me. How can I do that? I'm extremly hurt by the things she's said and the comments her friends left in that blog. Then I keep getting, "well she does have a point - she doesn't have to let you the baby." DUH! I already know that, but why does everyone have to insist on adding to the negativity?! I've had very little positive feed back from this, and I'm feeling like I AM doing something wrong. I know I shouldn't have made those few snide comments. I knew it when I said them. I tried to save it before it went as far as it did with suggesting that her and I sit down and TALK. I didn't realize how childish and how much of a pussy she really is. I've vented over this a lot the past couple of days. I'm going to try and make this my last time. This SHIT with Lisa has put a lot of strain on Rob and I's relationship. He doesn't like me saying that, but it's true! He hasn't been much help lately either.. Rob has done little to be emotionally supportive for me. He feels helpless since he's not here, but once again, where's the positive feed back? All he can muster up to say is that I've been doing a good job taking care of his daughter. I only keep her for like two days out of the week when I don't have anything major to do. Of course I'm going to do a good job, I can just focus on her. I don't feel like him and I are as close as we were before. I feel like we are drifting apart. I'm so clingy and needy right now and he just keeps ignoring it. I don't know if he is doing as much as he can or not. I'm at a loss. Most of the time I can't even put in to words how I feel or make much sense of my emotions so I don't know what I'm even talking about. Look at how scatter brained I always am. I feel too many things at once and jump from one topic to the next to the next. How can I correct this? I guess the bottom line comes back to, I must be doing something wrong because everyone around me giving me feed back has had something negative to say about my end of the situation. That hurts me just as much as the things Lisa (Rob's ex) has said about me in her blog on myspace. So not fucking cool. Now I'm doubting myself and every single thing I do. I'm depressed. I feel inadaquete. I just want to crawl into bed and never get out.