Short Christmas Update
This is one of those "really short" blog posts that I consider making in my head, but then remember all of the other things I meant to post before this, and then end up not posting. I'm going to try to buck that trend with this, so bear with me.
Up until recently, I've been working. This weekend was getting read for the obligatory family Christmas celebration.
The day was tolerable, but I still felt like I didn't fit in... as always.
Last night, had a dream about getting my hair cut shorter (a la Brian Molko circa 1996). It was really funny, because Brian himself was there with me in my dream teasing me the whole time, but in a fun way. I actually enjoyed his imaginary company and asked him if he remembered me, like Chibi and the others from TBM do.
Also tonight at dinner I had an interesting "tidbit" of conversation with my stepmom's mother. "So, what's the deal with this chain?" "It's attatched to my wallet." "Why not carry a purse?" "Well, when you're walking around alone, especially at night, like when it gets dark earlier, One it shows you as having something to take, and two, takes up one of your hands." "Well, it's ladylike to carry a purse." "Well, I guess I guess I'm not a 'lady', then."
My stepmom also made me conform and get new shoes for the advent candle lighting (Christ Candle, fifth and final white one in the middle) at church. Because they lost/didn't have the script and everyone was whispering and looking around (not to mention they printed Lumina, the choir's songs and solos from LAST year). I don't think anyone was paying attention to my shoes.
All this trying to get me to conform for their sake, and commenting on how I go about things even though it's hurting a whole lot of nobody... really gives me alot of angst. Oh well. It could have been worse.
Up until recently, I've been working. This weekend was getting read for the obligatory family Christmas celebration.
The day was tolerable, but I still felt like I didn't fit in... as always.
Last night, had a dream about getting my hair cut shorter (a la Brian Molko circa 1996). It was really funny, because Brian himself was there with me in my dream teasing me the whole time, but in a fun way. I actually enjoyed his imaginary company and asked him if he remembered me, like Chibi and the others from TBM do.
Also tonight at dinner I had an interesting "tidbit" of conversation with my stepmom's mother. "So, what's the deal with this chain?" "It's attatched to my wallet." "Why not carry a purse?" "Well, when you're walking around alone, especially at night, like when it gets dark earlier, One it shows you as having something to take, and two, takes up one of your hands." "Well, it's ladylike to carry a purse." "Well, I guess I guess I'm not a 'lady', then."
My stepmom also made me conform and get new shoes for the advent candle lighting (Christ Candle, fifth and final white one in the middle) at church. Because they lost/didn't have the script and everyone was whispering and looking around (not to mention they printed Lumina, the choir's songs and solos from LAST year). I don't think anyone was paying attention to my shoes.
All this trying to get me to conform for their sake, and commenting on how I go about things even though it's hurting a whole lot of nobody... really gives me alot of angst. Oh well. It could have been worse.