83 Weeks Later....
I recently remembered I had this journal. Hm. A lot I guess has happened since then. Met a lot of people during that time. Some of which I wish I could forget. And even though people are going to walk out on you you have to stay strong and grow from each new day. Sometimes I wonder why people do the things they do. Lie. Deceit. Betray. Cheat. Use. I really can't grasp the fact that people are so hurtful. They're going to do what they want no matter who it hurts.
So there's been some guys in my life in the past year or two. I've hurt some, some have hurt me. But no matter how much you prepare yourself for the worst, you have to be optimistic and hopeful. You can't go around with a bad attitude because that will never get you anywhere, or so I've learned. So I was gonna talk about these guys. Some were friends, hook-ups, or boyfriends.
I'll start off with Adam. I met this guy in Sept. of 06' and it was someone I would never imagined having feelings for. He was sorta skater-ish, stoner and he is cute but not my type. I fell for him pretty hard. And he fucked me over many times. I still went back to him after it all. I just enjoyed being around him. He has a magnetic personality and a charm that could lure any girl to him. I hated that. But all in all I remember one night I was fed up with his shit, and I asked him straight up, why do you do this? He mentioned that he had feelings for me and all but he couldnt be with me because it just wouldn't work. Well.. I had pretty strong feelings for him. And he went on to say that I was a beautiful girl and I should stand up for myself and don't let anyone take advantage of me. I don't talk to him anymore because he always has a new girlfriend. He taught me some things, like to not be fooled by the games that guys play.
Another guy I dated for a few months was Ryan. Ohh... Ryan. He is so attractive. The all American guy, smart, tall, sweet.... etc. He worked with my brother. I began talking to him out of fate and we hung out everyday from Jan. 06-April 06. He is perfect. He knew what I was going to say before I even said it. He was funny and had a lot of friends. He was caring and everything was too good to be true. He took care of me when I was drunk. Called me all the time and listened to me when I was talking out of my ass. Everything was nice but it ended abruptly and he broke my heart so bad. I cried for months. I guess it just ended badly. And I'm still a little confused about the whole thing.
There are not many other guys I truly cared about. But now I'm seeing this guy. His name is Billy. He's pretty great. But I'm a little hesitant cuz I've been fucked over so much. I've been seeing him for a couple months. He works downtown and he's really smart. He makes me laugh when I dont want to. He gives me his jacket when Im cold and likes cuddling at night. I sleep over on Friday nights. To tell you the truth I have been pretty happy lately. Despite all the fucked up shit, I am happy. I just realized that everything happens for a reason and I have to accept that.
I almost forgot that I'm going to modeling and acting school in Oakbrook. It's fun. Acting is hard. I've grown a lot. The people are fun. I feel like I can let loose when I'm there. It builds your self esteem a lot. I just can't wait to see where this road takes me. I have an audition Saturday. I need some luck.
So there's been some guys in my life in the past year or two. I've hurt some, some have hurt me. But no matter how much you prepare yourself for the worst, you have to be optimistic and hopeful. You can't go around with a bad attitude because that will never get you anywhere, or so I've learned. So I was gonna talk about these guys. Some were friends, hook-ups, or boyfriends.
I'll start off with Adam. I met this guy in Sept. of 06' and it was someone I would never imagined having feelings for. He was sorta skater-ish, stoner and he is cute but not my type. I fell for him pretty hard. And he fucked me over many times. I still went back to him after it all. I just enjoyed being around him. He has a magnetic personality and a charm that could lure any girl to him. I hated that. But all in all I remember one night I was fed up with his shit, and I asked him straight up, why do you do this? He mentioned that he had feelings for me and all but he couldnt be with me because it just wouldn't work. Well.. I had pretty strong feelings for him. And he went on to say that I was a beautiful girl and I should stand up for myself and don't let anyone take advantage of me. I don't talk to him anymore because he always has a new girlfriend. He taught me some things, like to not be fooled by the games that guys play.
Another guy I dated for a few months was Ryan. Ohh... Ryan. He is so attractive. The all American guy, smart, tall, sweet.... etc. He worked with my brother. I began talking to him out of fate and we hung out everyday from Jan. 06-April 06. He is perfect. He knew what I was going to say before I even said it. He was funny and had a lot of friends. He was caring and everything was too good to be true. He took care of me when I was drunk. Called me all the time and listened to me when I was talking out of my ass. Everything was nice but it ended abruptly and he broke my heart so bad. I cried for months. I guess it just ended badly. And I'm still a little confused about the whole thing.
There are not many other guys I truly cared about. But now I'm seeing this guy. His name is Billy. He's pretty great. But I'm a little hesitant cuz I've been fucked over so much. I've been seeing him for a couple months. He works downtown and he's really smart. He makes me laugh when I dont want to. He gives me his jacket when Im cold and likes cuddling at night. I sleep over on Friday nights. To tell you the truth I have been pretty happy lately. Despite all the fucked up shit, I am happy. I just realized that everything happens for a reason and I have to accept that.
I almost forgot that I'm going to modeling and acting school in Oakbrook. It's fun. Acting is hard. I've grown a lot. The people are fun. I feel like I can let loose when I'm there. It builds your self esteem a lot. I just can't wait to see where this road takes me. I have an audition Saturday. I need some luck.