Personality (and birth order) books
Finally its here!
It's official. I've read two books about personality (and read some of a book about birth order).
1) (How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself) personality PLUS by Florence Littauer. The author was a Sanguine; I did not care for her "story telling" narrative. I reccomend this one, though. It has a self-test and ways to overcome the weaknesses of your given personality in clear-cut form.
2) Spirit-Controlled Temperament by Tim LaHaye. Because my mom read it to the family. This was more to the point, but it also had near-useless Bible "characters" (uh, they were real people, ya know) references.
3) The Birth Order Book. Why You Are the Way You Are by Dr. Kevin Leman. I'm a first born girl with a younger brother (separated by two years. My brother does not act like a first-born male, unlike the book claims). I read the first-born section because it was relevant to me and was quite depressed by it. I took the little perfectionism test and scored "extremely perfectionistic." I apparently act like both a first-born and an only child - how's that for loner behavior? I'm apparently the responsible grunt whose reliability is taken advantage of by my parents (according to the book). And my personality type in accordance with my birth order make me unlikely to succeed in relationships. How nice is that? Not that I'm surprised. It was interesting. I reccomend it for those who have/are going to have children, but I wouldn't read it for yourself or your siblings.
Back to personality and the corresponding books.
There are four personality types. They were based on the four medical "bodily humors" of the body, dating back to Hippocrates in 200 A.D. For those interested in my psych class, this would be the "biological" perspective of psychology (there are five others, irrelevent to personality ATM).
"Popular Sanguine" the 'blood' bodily humor. The people person, the talker - optimist - extrovert.
"Powerful Choleric" the 'yellow bile' bodily humor. The doer, the leader - optimist - extrovert.
"Peaceful Phlegmatic" the 'phlegm' bodily humor (so fitting). The "watcher" - pessimist - introvert*
"Perfect Melancholy" the 'black bile' bodily humor. The thinker, creator - pessimist - introvert
How this applies to me:
My father acts like a Choleric (anger management issues, goal oriented) but I don't really think he is. He scored "Meloncholy" in the test we took - no way is he that type. There was a blurb in one of the books about Phlegmatic boys who are forced to become 'man of the house' adopting Choleric tendencies which is completely opposite of their natural state (that's not a good thing to do psychologically). I take after my dad a lot, so I figured I picked that up from him - apparently I'm born with it. That I had this personality type was never in question. I'm a leader, I take charge; I can be unemotional, un-empathetic; I can be disgustingly optimistic; active; confident/charismatic; independent, likes to 'right wrongs' or be 'right'; big-picture thinker, anti-details. Cholerics are emotionally undeveloped (not immature, just undeveloped) - they have little need or understanding for emotion, they may find it overused by the average population. They have little need for other people, friends, assistance, social support. People are a work-force like ants in an ant hill.They are arrogant in that "they are right, anyone else is wrong" - you'll spot them by their catchphrases which include put-downs (mine is "lemmings") - they are smart, know-it-alls but they're not God and not everything around them is of their own making or doing. They understand things and any other emotional, "dumb" person who isn't doing it their way (the "right") way, is "stupid" and not worth their time, though the Choleric is happy to share his/her wisdom. "Get your facts straight before you talk to a Choleric" was another saying. They are practical and efficient.
The saying I found amusing was, "Just nod and smile when the Choleric speaks - he/she will remember you as a brilliant conversationalist." Cholerics are born leaders, often unliked by peers/employees for their people-skills and work-ethic, and they are highly self-motivated individuals. My mother's amusing anecdote when asked what my primary facial expression was: "[a mock blank face as she tried not to laugh before she did laugh] You only have the one!" When prompted, she explained said look, "Its the 'Why Are You Not Doing What I Want You To Be Doing, Citizen?' look." In the discussion I had with my mom, we concluded that Cholerics "don't see weaknesses, especially their own, so they can't label them in themselves." They're also the least emotionally developed of the four personalities. True dat. What we surmised was, "Cholerics choose what they *like*, what they *want* to be, not what their weaknesses actually are" which is optimism. On the downside, Cholerics are type A personalities and they tend to die young from their bodies giving out with all their drive and stress.
Children gravitate towards the parent that displays more "orderliness," which was my father, more command, more power, he got things done where my mother did not due to (post-partum, post-partum aggravated) depression.
We all took the test from the Personality PLUS book. My brother - a Phleg - had my mother and I in stitches and tears over my absolute "stubborness and refusal" to agree with them while I simultaneously asked their opinions of the options in regards to myself. So it must be true.
I pegged myself as more Melancholy. I create; I'm negative; I'm depressed; I analyze; I plan; I think a lot; I'm sure as hell a perfectionist and detail-oriented (on things that intereset me - my focus is really...intimidating). This part of me is artistic - I find sanity and order and calm in being creative which is why I RP. This part understands people on a fundemental, psychological level so I can understand *why* people do the things they do - doesn't mean I like what they do. Melancholy's are self-defeating, low self-esteem persons who can/will take a compliment and turn it into an insult due to their sensitivity. They are unintentionally passive aggressive with their communication, seeking an ego boost or stroke, "your hair looks nice"/"My hair always looks crappy." They are self-sacrificing, listeners/watchers, thoughtful, poetic, idealistic, serious, and appreciative of art/beauty. They have high standards that they (and others) can rarely meet, like schedules and neatness and make good, til-death friends. Problem-solving is "being helpful" to them - it sounds like a harsh critique to an outsider/victim - Melancholy's do this to ensure learning and the best product/job possible. They can look over a diagram of a plan and within minutes list every potential problem you will have along the way. They sound depressed, picky, and overly detailed/overly invested - any answer out of their mouths displays deep levels of thought and consideration so its important to handle them carefully. They are emotional persons, possessing the deepest emotional ups and downs - however they are prolonged; a 'funk' can last for months before another 'mood' comes along, usually situationally occurring.
For the CholMel blend (that's what the Spirit-Controlled book called it), it said something interesting in a new way that I understood it this time where I hadn't been able to before: Melancholies are prone to schizophrenia. Look above at the basic characteristics of a Choleric and Melancholy - they're opposite (optimist/pessimist, extrovert/introvert). I can literally decide which side of my personality to nurture and utilize in most given situations. I am utterly *situational*! It explained so much about how I can do so many "crossover" type things. I'm quite versatile. I like that. Interestingly, I'm about a 60-40 split, Chol/Mel. What that means is the "craziness" of fitting into more than one category at once, being indecisive or even self-loathing or internal struggles, that feeling of schizophrenia or bipolarity, emotional instability, is explained - I have opposite personalities. They're not so extreme as to have caused a split or anything, if anything, I've been able to master them for the most part. It explains why I don't like "grey" answers, because I'm both black and white, so I *make* grey. Ironic that's my favoite color? This blend is a highly effective, successful one. To brag a little, Meloncholy's are "genuis prone" once they learn to overcome themselves and utilize their gifts; they have a hit-miss tendency.
(The part about schizophrenia explains what may have pre-empted a personality split or break in my character Sylar/Gabriel Gray. I'm not sure what personality type he is - I have the darnest time trying to figure that out, honestly. I think it should be so easy for me. One thing stood out for me about CholMel for him "The Choleric hates the negativity/depression/emotionalism of the Melancholy." That right there is a recipe for self-loathing on at least one aspect of self if the person has low-self esteem, low self-awareness. Fuel to the fire could lead to breaks or splits).
Interestingly enough, the "myth" that women are better at multi-tasking is somewhat substantiated. I've seen my brother play a computer game, listen to music and have a phone conversation using two/three pairs of headphones all at once, something I could never do. Women are placed in the home as mothers and housekeepers because they multi-task well, because men are not in the position to multi-task in daily life doesn't make them incapable of it - it just makes them unused to it as its not their social profile/role. It has more to do with placement. The corpus callosum is the nerve fibers that connect left and right brain hemispheres, thought to be thicker (stronger) in women. "Whole brained" is the term for those who have more equal division between left/right brain and is generally an indicator of higher-than-average intelligence.
*Phlegs, the three that I know (brother, mother, ex-BF), are very individual and didn't fit the book real well. Both books differed on this personality. I think one tried to paint it in a more 'positive' light than the other did because one I found to be more accurate; the other was...fantastical. That said, none of the Phlegs I know are introverted - they talk their asses off - and they are optimists who enjoy disguising themselves (thinking that they're oh-so-clever) as pessimists. They kind of fail at it. They're real easy to spot in that they don't commit and they don't motivate. The ones I know tend to be slackers and indecisive people.
A legitimate test for blended or bi-personalities (which, I understand, most everyone is) that I learned in psych class is the Luscher color test. It takes less than five minutes. I'd done this before several times without knowing how legit it was! It was very accurate for me, you can see mine here.