Last Man on Earth
Title: Last Man On Earth
Characters: Sylar and Peter
Rating: PG-13 (some swearing, kissing)
Setting: Inside the Wall/S4
A/N: Shamelessly inspired by Game_byrd’s Wall Short Series (a drabble), Walled In/Seeing Stars, The Touch of Your Lips and a few other of her pieces including MBU.
A/N 2: A prequel to game_byrd's " Things Unsaid". And first entry of the ( Read more... )
The thing is, I've thought through Peter's behavior with intimate partners, especially when he was younger (and I assume more brash, clumsy, clingy and less patient), and I think he'd get dumped right and left. I also think he'd get laid a lot. I mean, A LOT.
Assuming he even managed to get to know someone he was sleeping with well enough to consider himself 'dating' them for any period of time, I doubt most of his relationships lasted even a month.
There's a stereotype about a certain kind of girl who is so desperate for male attention that she tumbles into the bed of any guy who will have her, and as a result, no guy really wants her (outside of a few rolls in the hay). I think that's how Peter was in his early years. He could play that off as a sort of Lothario, and it was certainly socially acceptable for men to do that (considered an achievement rather than the female counterpart's label of 'desperate for attention').
I think he'd be so needy and vulnerable and so obviously, obviously pleased to have had sex with someone and been with them so intimately and they're so awesome for sharing that with him and this was incredible, it was almost spiritual, all over them sort of behavior ... he'd get dumped. Time after time.
Now he's older, but getting dumped by Simone wasn't a surprise. You could almost see him cringing before she even stomped all over him. He knew what was coming. It didn't stop him from trying, and I think that "I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you" was all kinds of moving and endearing. But he overloads people and doesn't know how to keep them.
I've thought about it, and I think Sylar's saving grace might be that Peter can take a step back from him and preserve a little emotional distance. Which seems to me to be a really weird take on it.
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Besides the actual sex factor, to me, it's always seemed like Peter was looking for someone to love him, keep him, and lead him. Nathan, Simone, Claude, Adam, Caitlin, Emma. Even Mohinder I think, early in season one. Peter just gloms onto the nearest body and follows them blindly. It seems only natural that he would do that with Sylar, too.
Except that I see that quality in Sylar as well - wanting someone to follow. Chandra, Angela, Author, Elle, Danko, those carnies, Peter. he is looking for connection even though he would never admit it. So I suppose that't what makes them click for me.
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And Peter is the kind of person who really, really needs a partner in so many definitions of that word.
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Like, does he think after being dumped 'If I'd just loved her a little more...' and then proceed to beat himself up over it which only feeds the cling-monster and repeats his problem x2 and then x3 each consecutive time? I mean, eventually he'd hear 'you're too clingy' too many times and clue in intellectually and be aware of the reason but not have a real solution for it, not that he should.
Or do you think he can find some sort of self-boost naturally? Not the 'I have to deal with this so I must and I will' or pressing the 'Ignore' button on his heart, but like the 'I did all I could, I gave myself and that's all I could do, move on' and truly feel that?
I know, I hated that about Simone and Peter. S1 we don't know him that well (its the second freaking episode), nothing's established, but I saw that cringing, too. Something in that scene (even pre-Nathan-interruptus, such a good big brother, isn't he?) just sat up and screamed 'limited time offer' which always makes me think that's why Peter clings harder - he knows its going to end so he tries to stay in bed as long as humanly possible, getting in those last eskimo kisses, etc.
Heck, he was depressed when he first kissed Simone - no depression-disease or ability or life problem going factoring into it.
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I think he takes getting dumped as just another failure that's not going to stop him from trying again. He climbed up on that piece of playground equipment and fell on his face time after time. In The Wall, we see him swing that damn hammer at the immovable object repeatedly. And then there's the many chances he gave Nathan and his mother, and even that hug he gave his dad was taking another chance, another risk, exposing himself to danger yet again because he thought it was the right thing to do.
So taking that attitude into the realm of love and sex, I think he'd stubbornly keep trying the same thing over and over, with the idea that he's doing right and that eventually he'll find the right person.
Although as far as that goes, I think after Caitlin he stopped being willing to be with other people and withdrew into his shell. But he didn't back off from relationships because he got dumped or shut out, but rather because he sees himself as a danger to them. Again, he's got his hero goggles on. It wouldn't be "right" for him to endanger them, so he shuts himself off.
That's my take on it, at least.
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And Peter! Silly Peter. Does he even love Caitlyn?! Or is SHE just convenient? I don't care either way, but that would crack me up and kill Sylar if Peter did the same thing of 'well...he/she was convenient at the time, I didn't really like her' in context of MBU. I mean, there's more than one woman (or so we assume) in Cork, Ireland (there's always men, too...) so he's not "stranded", but still, he's in a foreign country, no money or map or car (he's got plane tickets, how weird is that?. How nice of you, Rene, to include those, but not a shirt or socks or a granola bar snack in the shipping container. Last time I checked it was a long way to Ireland from NY by barge, he might have to take a pee-break at some point...). He's got no memories and even for a guy as tough and up-and-at-'em as Peter, that's got to be scary. But apparently his exhibitionist and H&C kinks come out to play for her... ;)
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He seems awfully calm afterward when Nathan and Matt catch up to him, but that can be chalked up to Peter thinking that Caitlyn's situation can be fixed, just like all the other ridiculous situations. We never see him try to get back to her, or react to not being able to get back to her.
In my head-canon, he tried repeatedly, using Hiro's ability until his regeneration was the only thing holding his brain together. Until even Peter admitted this wasn't working. Since then he's gone along with the thought that maybe a different way to get to her would turn up and thinking he just needs to stay alert ... because he can't think of what else to do. He feels horrible, emotionally, but most of that is that she trusted him and he got her killed (essentially). That's what he's torn up about - a human life in his care was lost due to his mistakes. As a paramedic he knows that shit happens and obviously he's come to terms with it, but it still hurts.
Did he love her? I would suppose as much as any other short-term relationship. Meaning yes.
As for the stuff Peter had, Ricky says, "this is all the stuff you had on you when we found you." I took that as saying that Rene didn't go through Peter's pockets and strip him entirely. We see in canon that Rene just wiped his memory and then left. So that was the stuff in Peter's wallet, pockets, etc. He was in the dark in there, so reading the ID probably wasn't possible. Peter lost the shirt to Elle's lightning. I don't recall what happened to his shoes, or if he still had them.
I think the ride to Cork must have been hellish. It was probably 10 days of isolation and privation without memories or frame of reference - just animal reaction to stimulus, and chained to the wall so he couldn't move, lie down or be comfortable. I would assume that his regeneration kept kicking in enough to enable survival, but it's still a horrific situation on par with some of Sylar's worst treatment.
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I wonder based on what you've said if, when he thinks back on her, does he just see the guilt/failure or does he think (when not thinking about the guilt and failure) a 'what if things had worked out?' or 'was she the one?' I know Peter's not much of a questioner or a curious guy, but it can be argued that she was the one that got away even if it was for a reason, you know? Knowing Peter his feelings for her in S4 are nothing more than guilt - how unhelpful!
As a writer, I'm thrilled to see a connective element between Sylar and Peter - Sylar's murder of Virginia not being common knowledge, something of a guilty secret and Peter's loss/misplacement of Caitlyn. And the ride to Cork, yes, how totally understated! Wait! Peter's mind has been totally wiped, too, hasn't it? Duh! Another commonality.
Do you think Nathan knows any details about her (Caitlyn)? I imagine Peter ranted off about some girl he'd left behind in the future (which won't make any sense to Nathan who'll just think Peter left his flavor-of-the-week in Ireland).
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Peter wouldn't have talked to Nathan (or really, anyone) about her.
When he thinks back, he sees someone who loved him, trusted him to keep them safe, whom he promised to keep safe, whom he failed. Because he was stupid. Because he was ignorant. Because he let Adam mislead him. Because in some alternate reality, Peter was gullible enough to let Adam release that virus.
It was a very painful lesson that he can't afford to be that dumb (the *world* can't afford for him to be that dumb!), but poor Peter knows that he was doing the best he could, even then. It frustrates him. He feels he's been given a weight to carry that's heavy than he can lift. Sometimes in his darker moments he thinks Nathan was right and all the specials need to be wiped out, or neutralized or something.
Was Caitlyn 'the one'? Well, he loved her. She loved him. That's all it takes, right? (Peter speaking there - my own feelings about love and relationships are a bit different.) He doesn't know if it would have worked out. She didn't have powers and he, especially at that point in time, had a lot going on with the abilities he had. He knows that would have bred an unhealthy imbalance in power between them (relationship dynamic in addition to sheer ability). So realistically he knows the odds of it working were low. But so what? (again, Peter speaking) The odds of him jumping off a building and learning to fly before he hit the bottom are even lower, but hey, that worked out! Sort of. Mostly. Yeah, really. I'm alive, right?
I don't think Peter would have discussed the memory wipe much either, though on that one, I would expect Nathan would have, at some point, insisted on getting an answer for what the hell Peter was doing hanging out in Cork all that time while everyone else thought he was dead. If nothing else, Nathan would have felt entitled to an answer and entitled to force Peter to account for his whereabouts, because those whereabouts were inconvenient and upsetting for Nathan. Nathan always was a bit of a bastard. Peter would tell him the bare minimum: memory wiped, recovered, found by Elle, ran for it, saw the future/disease, met Adam, went to Odessa for virus.
I have Peter still worrying over whether he failed to save the cheerleader with Jackie's death, so yeah, he'd totally still be stressing over Caitlyn.
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