flying on the wings of madness
I am slowly going crazy
One, two, three, four, five, six, switch
Crazy going slowly am I
Six, five, four, three, two, one, switch.
I leave for FL in eleven days to spend some time with my sister, D. Our other sister, AL, is there now. AL flew in a week ago for a surprise one week visit. Because in-home hospice is now going to be required, and the hospice people strongly recommended that D not be left alone while Kern is working, AL has extended her stay an additional two weeks so that she will be there until the morning after I arrive. When I talked to D on the phone last night we confirmed when and what time I will arrive. She told me I can stay as long as I want. Since I haven't checked last night's lottery numbers yet, I can only plan on the five scheduled days. If I hit the lottery, then George and I can both go for as long as she needs me. As it stands right now I am lucky work "allowed" me the three days off to make a five day weekend, plus I am not sure my confidence level will even allow me five days away from home comfortably. My imagination runs bad scenarios while I AM here, so I know that it will be full of doubting Thomas created scenes when I am too far away to know what is going on. I want to go, but am so afraid to be away from here.
Kel and Kyle are in KS, visiting some of their WoW team members. I know that I used to make weekend trips from Flint, MI, to Buffalo, NY, during college, but it is different when you are the parent. Now I understand why my mom always wanted me to call when I got there. It isn't about control. It is worrying about all the things that can go wrong, and the m.o.m. being too far away to help. That is part of watching them become adults and letting go so they can be an adult, but it is so hard. As I have told a couple of my adopteddaughters, a mom is going to worry about you no matter how old the two of you are. Aaah, isn't gray hair wonderful¿
I think I am finally going to get some GS cookies. When Kel called the other night she told me to call Lisa. I had asked Lisa about her selling them when I saw her at Meijer last weekend. Apparently, Lisa has lost my phone number, so couldn't call me. The cell number I have for her in my cell address book is no longer a valid number, so I had to look up her home number in the "real" phone book. She was at work when I called. Since it is her mom that is going to get the cookies, through a friend with three cookie-selling daughters, I just told Bambi how many of which kinds I want. She or Lisa will call me to make arrangements to pick them up when they get them. Yay! I love GS cookies.
Speaking of food love, after receiving the current Market Day e-newsletter, I was browsing through the latest order catalog list on their website yesterday and found the Andes Mint Chocolate Pie that I loved so much is available again. I had gotten it in November and wanted to take one to D when we went down at Christmas time, but it wasn't available to order on the December order form. SJB's delivery is while I am going to be in FL this month, so I am looking for schools that are close to me that have a delivery date right before I leave. Now all I have to do is figure out how to carry it on the plane with me.....
Yesterday George and I ran some errands late in the day. Should have started earlier, but snuggling and napping on the couch were just too much fun. We went to Bait 'n Hook to use his last gift certificate, then headed up to JC Penney to return some catalog items that were the wrong size. On the way home we decided to go ahead and do some grocery shopping so we wouldn't have to go back out today. Warning to K&K: There will be meatloaf!!
We bought stuff for us, plus a few things for the kids to have while they are here this next week. Potatoes, hot pockets, mac & cheese, milk, and Cherry Coke (sorry, no Pepsi please!) will get them through the first day or so until we can plan some real food dinners for the four of us. Despite my "new" routine of the past couple of weeks, I still hate to cook, hate to have to plan what to have for dinner every night, and sometimes, just plain hate having to eat. Oh well, if I want to gain enough weight so that I am no longer ashamed of my body, I am going to eat, every night, munch all day long and maybe, even midnight snacks. Jenny at work offered to give me 20lbs. of the weight she wants to lose. I told her that if I could put it where I want it, then I would definately take it.
Time to go snuggle for a while before having to get involved with laundry and the terrible machine, vacuum cleaner.
One, two, three, four, five, six, switch
Crazy going slowly am I
Six, five, four, three, two, one, switch.
I leave for FL in eleven days to spend some time with my sister, D. Our other sister, AL, is there now. AL flew in a week ago for a surprise one week visit. Because in-home hospice is now going to be required, and the hospice people strongly recommended that D not be left alone while Kern is working, AL has extended her stay an additional two weeks so that she will be there until the morning after I arrive. When I talked to D on the phone last night we confirmed when and what time I will arrive. She told me I can stay as long as I want. Since I haven't checked last night's lottery numbers yet, I can only plan on the five scheduled days. If I hit the lottery, then George and I can both go for as long as she needs me. As it stands right now I am lucky work "allowed" me the three days off to make a five day weekend, plus I am not sure my confidence level will even allow me five days away from home comfortably. My imagination runs bad scenarios while I AM here, so I know that it will be full of doubting Thomas created scenes when I am too far away to know what is going on. I want to go, but am so afraid to be away from here.
Kel and Kyle are in KS, visiting some of their WoW team members. I know that I used to make weekend trips from Flint, MI, to Buffalo, NY, during college, but it is different when you are the parent. Now I understand why my mom always wanted me to call when I got there. It isn't about control. It is worrying about all the things that can go wrong, and the m.o.m. being too far away to help. That is part of watching them become adults and letting go so they can be an adult, but it is so hard. As I have told a couple of my adopteddaughters, a mom is going to worry about you no matter how old the two of you are. Aaah, isn't gray hair wonderful¿
I think I am finally going to get some GS cookies. When Kel called the other night she told me to call Lisa. I had asked Lisa about her selling them when I saw her at Meijer last weekend. Apparently, Lisa has lost my phone number, so couldn't call me. The cell number I have for her in my cell address book is no longer a valid number, so I had to look up her home number in the "real" phone book. She was at work when I called. Since it is her mom that is going to get the cookies, through a friend with three cookie-selling daughters, I just told Bambi how many of which kinds I want. She or Lisa will call me to make arrangements to pick them up when they get them. Yay! I love GS cookies.
Speaking of food love, after receiving the current Market Day e-newsletter, I was browsing through the latest order catalog list on their website yesterday and found the Andes Mint Chocolate Pie that I loved so much is available again. I had gotten it in November and wanted to take one to D when we went down at Christmas time, but it wasn't available to order on the December order form. SJB's delivery is while I am going to be in FL this month, so I am looking for schools that are close to me that have a delivery date right before I leave. Now all I have to do is figure out how to carry it on the plane with me.....
Yesterday George and I ran some errands late in the day. Should have started earlier, but snuggling and napping on the couch were just too much fun. We went to Bait 'n Hook to use his last gift certificate, then headed up to JC Penney to return some catalog items that were the wrong size. On the way home we decided to go ahead and do some grocery shopping so we wouldn't have to go back out today. Warning to K&K: There will be meatloaf!!
We bought stuff for us, plus a few things for the kids to have while they are here this next week. Potatoes, hot pockets, mac & cheese, milk, and Cherry Coke (sorry, no Pepsi please!) will get them through the first day or so until we can plan some real food dinners for the four of us. Despite my "new" routine of the past couple of weeks, I still hate to cook, hate to have to plan what to have for dinner every night, and sometimes, just plain hate having to eat. Oh well, if I want to gain enough weight so that I am no longer ashamed of my body, I am going to eat, every night, munch all day long and maybe, even midnight snacks. Jenny at work offered to give me 20lbs. of the weight she wants to lose. I told her that if I could put it where I want it, then I would definately take it.
Time to go snuggle for a while before having to get involved with laundry and the terrible machine, vacuum cleaner.