Test Stick
KrisYeol | oneshot (1,000+ wc) | crack, fluff | PG | Maybe, the fanfictions aren't entirely fictional. Maybe, Chanyeol really carries Yifan's child in his stomach.
A/N: un-betaed unedited whatsoever because I wrote this half sleeping and I don't even know what I was writing. I might edit it later. Maybe.
“Yifan hyung, I think Chanyeol is pregnant.”
It is 10 days after EXO-M members’ departure to China to continue their schedule. The leader is missing his lover, who is none other than the lead rapper of EXO-K, so he decided to make a call.
But that news is something he has expected the least. Not to mention it is Baekhyun who is answering the call.
“The fuck?” curses Yifan in English. “What makes you jump into that conclusion?”
“Well,” Baekhyun seems hesitate for a second. “He vomited this morning, twice. Isn’t that something called morning sickness?”
Yifan sighs and shakes his head. He should remind Joonmyun to check his members’ activities on the internet. Baekhyun clearly has read too many fanfictions.
“Where is Chanyeol right now, Baekhyun-ah?” he asks, trying to sound as friendly as he can. After all, he is really worried about Chanyeol’s condition. Vomiting twice, what the hell? “Is he okay?”
“I confiscated his cell phone so he can take a rest. Otherwise you would call him and you guys would end up talking for hours and he would get tired but you wouldn’t know it anyway since you are miles away from him and he wou-”
“Baekhyun,” Yifan cut the ramblings with threatening tone. “Please pass the phone to Chanyeol, I need to talk to hi-”
“Hello, Yifan hyung?” it is Joonmyun who is speaking. Yifan can hear muffled noise of Baekhyun from afar; seems like Joonmyun just snatched the phone away. Finally, at least I can speak to someone sane, Yifan thinks. “Oh, yeah, too bad you can’t talk to Chanyeol right now. He is sleeping already.”
“Is it that bad, his sickness?” Yifan can’t stop his worry seeping to his tone. The last time he met Chanyeol was when they made love in the night before he left Korea; his lover was very much healthy, so hyper and initiative and it made their bed activity twice hotter. Come to think about it again, Yifan is suspicious that Chanyeol mistook a pill of Viagra as his daily vitamin; he has no idea from where Chanyeol got that kind of drug but when it comes to Park Chanyeol, nothing seems impossible.
“Well he just vomited twice, and he couldn’t stomach anything so Kyungsoo had to feed him congee. He loses his appetite as well. How does it sound?”
“Terrible,” Yifan turns on his laptop to check any available ticket to Seoul in two or three days. “I’ll try to go home as fast as possible. Keep me updated, okay?”
*
“Hyung, it seems like Chanyeol wasted his remaining energy over Jongin just now.”
This time, Yifan decides to call Joonmyun instead just in case Chanyeol’s phone is still in Baekhyun’s hand. Yifan furrows his eyebrows. “Jongin? What has he done?”
“Kyungsoo had sent him to the pharmacy with Sehun to buy Chanyeol a medicine for his nausea. Apparently they came back with the medicine… and a few packs of pregnancy test kit.”
Yifan chuckles silently but then he reminds himself that the news about Chanyeol’s health is more important. “And then?”
“Chanyeol ran after them around the dorms and threw the boxes to them. He eventually got tired, vomited once, and got back to rest.”
“Okay, so I can get the conclusion that he hasn’t gotten better. Have you guys called a doctor? He might have a food poisoning.”
“We can’t call a doctor because it’s Sunday, remember? We can’t take him to the hospital either since he sleeps like a log and he is too heavy for the lanky figure he has.”
Suddenly there is a ruckus behind Joonmyun’s voice and someone Yifan knows takes over the phone. “I’ve told you hyung, Chanyeol is pregnant! I asked him something and he raged at me! He becomes super sensitive right now, he must be carrying your baby!”
“Baekhyun-ah,” Yifan calls the other guy calmly. “What were you asking to him exactly?”
“I asked if he wanted to take a pee so we could take a sample for the test stick!”
Yifan massages the bridge of his nose. “Baekhyun-ah, Chanyeol is a man. He can’t get pregnant.”
“It’s up to you, Wu Yifan hyung,” Baekhyun cries from the other line. “Why don’t you try to find out about it? You insensitive guy!” and the phone call ends.
“WHAT THE-?” Yifan is so close to cursing if he doesn’t remember that he is actually in a studio for a photoshoot and he is currently having a break. He bows apologetically for his sudden outburst, decides that he will ask his guru once he gets home already.
*
Yifan’s guru, as he has mentioned before, turns out to be a web search engine called Google.
He types the keyword “Can guys get pregnant” in English because he thinks that kind of information will only be found in English articles; have Chinese had a discussion about this kind of topic anyway? Not that Yifan knows, though.
The first article he finds has taken him aback. “Can A Man Really Get Pregnant? Sure, It Might Kill Him” is the title of that article. He scans the paragraphs and finds out that the male pregnancy is not safe and life-threatening. He clicks another article, this time from Wikipedia and from Wikianswers. The answer is same: men can’t get pregnant. He sighs in relief. He decides to read one last article about mixed gonadal dysgenesis (what the hell is that? Yifan thinks) and after he finishes reading, he comes with a conclusion.
That maybe, maybe, Chanyeol really carries his baby right now.
Chanyeol is truly beautiful in his eyes: skin so soft and delicate, body so slender and lean, lips too soft and red. Perfect features of a woman that he has. He might be actually a woman trapped in male body; he might carry a uterus inside his abdomen.
Truth to be told, Yifan is happy that he will soon become a father, but then he isn’t ready. He is still young, he and Chanyeol are still young. Are they really ready to be parents?
Yifan shakes his head. Chanyeol will be the one who is suffering, and he can’t be selfish. He will take the responsibility, whatever it is.
“Hello? Chanyeol-ah?” he calls his lover softly, afraid that Chanyeol is actually asleep. “Are you okay? I’ll be coming home tomorrow. And we will go to the doctor together, okay? I love you.”
Even though he actually expects an ‘I love you too’ from the other line, but it’s also expected that he gets a loud snore as the answer instead. He chuckles and ends the call before slipping into the comforter. He has an early flight to catch in the morning.
*
“Gastritis?”
“Yes, Park Chanyeol sshi is having gastritis right now because of the high amount of alcohol in his gastric,” explains the doctor to Yifan. “Did you have a party before the symptoms appeared?”
“Yeah, the company held a small party a few days ago and I think I lost a tad bit of my self control,” Chanyeol grins sheepishly. “And honestly I’ve been under stress lately.”
“You can stop consuming Ibuprofen or Aspirin for now, it might trigger your nausea,” advices the doctor. “Do you perhaps bring the drugs you take on daily basis, for further examination?”
Chanyeol takes out a few bags of drugs and vitamins from his bag and hands them to the doctor. He takes a glance to the man sitting beside him, and he can hear Yifan grumbles in his breath. “Hyung, what’s wrong?”
“I literally flew here in this early morning,” Yifan mumbles. “Only to find out that you just got gastritis? How should I explain to Hyunkyun hyung about this?”
“Hey, I didn’t ask you to come here, though,” Chanyeol nudges his lover with his elbow.
“But I was worried about you!”
“Yes and that is so sweet of you, hyung,” he pokes the leader’s cheek tenderly. “Then why are you still pouting?”
“Baekhyun said that you might be… might carry…”
“Carry your child?” Chanyeol helps Yifan finishing his sentence, before stifling his laugh. “Hyung, you’re reading too many fanfictions lately, I guess.”
Yifan’s face goes red in embarrassment. “AM NOT!”
The clearing throat sound from the doctor effectively stops their childish quarrel. He waves one bag with ‘vitamin’ written on it and asks, “Park Chanyeol sshi, do you still take this vitamin on daily basis?”
Chanyeol shakes his head. “No, I don’t. I think I only took it just once. Why, doctor?”
The doctor smiles, rather apologetically as he takes one more glance to the blue pills inside the bag. “Well, I’m afraid someone has swapped your vitamin supply with Viagra.”
*****
A/N: Another random plot I got today when I was doing laundry. Seems like more hectic the schedule I get, the weirder plots I get as well.
Anyway, have you guys seen this teaser? I’m currently working on it and I have decided to release it on the day EXO finally make a comeback in Inkigayo. I don’t think they will come back soon, so more time for me to polish the story lol.
And, anybody up for krisyeol fans small gathering? :) (lol no it’s not a gathering, more like I-want-to-meet-all-of-you-in-person meeting, despite your pairings or biases)
Thank you for reading, guys! As usual, comments = vitamins or Viagra
A/N: un-betaed unedited whatsoever because I wrote this half sleeping and I don't even know what I was writing. I might edit it later. Maybe.
“Yifan hyung, I think Chanyeol is pregnant.”
It is 10 days after EXO-M members’ departure to China to continue their schedule. The leader is missing his lover, who is none other than the lead rapper of EXO-K, so he decided to make a call.
But that news is something he has expected the least. Not to mention it is Baekhyun who is answering the call.
“The fuck?” curses Yifan in English. “What makes you jump into that conclusion?”
“Well,” Baekhyun seems hesitate for a second. “He vomited this morning, twice. Isn’t that something called morning sickness?”
Yifan sighs and shakes his head. He should remind Joonmyun to check his members’ activities on the internet. Baekhyun clearly has read too many fanfictions.
“Where is Chanyeol right now, Baekhyun-ah?” he asks, trying to sound as friendly as he can. After all, he is really worried about Chanyeol’s condition. Vomiting twice, what the hell? “Is he okay?”
“I confiscated his cell phone so he can take a rest. Otherwise you would call him and you guys would end up talking for hours and he would get tired but you wouldn’t know it anyway since you are miles away from him and he wou-”
“Baekhyun,” Yifan cut the ramblings with threatening tone. “Please pass the phone to Chanyeol, I need to talk to hi-”
“Hello, Yifan hyung?” it is Joonmyun who is speaking. Yifan can hear muffled noise of Baekhyun from afar; seems like Joonmyun just snatched the phone away. Finally, at least I can speak to someone sane, Yifan thinks. “Oh, yeah, too bad you can’t talk to Chanyeol right now. He is sleeping already.”
“Is it that bad, his sickness?” Yifan can’t stop his worry seeping to his tone. The last time he met Chanyeol was when they made love in the night before he left Korea; his lover was very much healthy, so hyper and initiative and it made their bed activity twice hotter. Come to think about it again, Yifan is suspicious that Chanyeol mistook a pill of Viagra as his daily vitamin; he has no idea from where Chanyeol got that kind of drug but when it comes to Park Chanyeol, nothing seems impossible.
“Well he just vomited twice, and he couldn’t stomach anything so Kyungsoo had to feed him congee. He loses his appetite as well. How does it sound?”
“Terrible,” Yifan turns on his laptop to check any available ticket to Seoul in two or three days. “I’ll try to go home as fast as possible. Keep me updated, okay?”
*
“Hyung, it seems like Chanyeol wasted his remaining energy over Jongin just now.”
This time, Yifan decides to call Joonmyun instead just in case Chanyeol’s phone is still in Baekhyun’s hand. Yifan furrows his eyebrows. “Jongin? What has he done?”
“Kyungsoo had sent him to the pharmacy with Sehun to buy Chanyeol a medicine for his nausea. Apparently they came back with the medicine… and a few packs of pregnancy test kit.”
Yifan chuckles silently but then he reminds himself that the news about Chanyeol’s health is more important. “And then?”
“Chanyeol ran after them around the dorms and threw the boxes to them. He eventually got tired, vomited once, and got back to rest.”
“Okay, so I can get the conclusion that he hasn’t gotten better. Have you guys called a doctor? He might have a food poisoning.”
“We can’t call a doctor because it’s Sunday, remember? We can’t take him to the hospital either since he sleeps like a log and he is too heavy for the lanky figure he has.”
Suddenly there is a ruckus behind Joonmyun’s voice and someone Yifan knows takes over the phone. “I’ve told you hyung, Chanyeol is pregnant! I asked him something and he raged at me! He becomes super sensitive right now, he must be carrying your baby!”
“Baekhyun-ah,” Yifan calls the other guy calmly. “What were you asking to him exactly?”
“I asked if he wanted to take a pee so we could take a sample for the test stick!”
Yifan massages the bridge of his nose. “Baekhyun-ah, Chanyeol is a man. He can’t get pregnant.”
“It’s up to you, Wu Yifan hyung,” Baekhyun cries from the other line. “Why don’t you try to find out about it? You insensitive guy!” and the phone call ends.
“WHAT THE-?” Yifan is so close to cursing if he doesn’t remember that he is actually in a studio for a photoshoot and he is currently having a break. He bows apologetically for his sudden outburst, decides that he will ask his guru once he gets home already.
*
Yifan’s guru, as he has mentioned before, turns out to be a web search engine called Google.
He types the keyword “Can guys get pregnant” in English because he thinks that kind of information will only be found in English articles; have Chinese had a discussion about this kind of topic anyway? Not that Yifan knows, though.
The first article he finds has taken him aback. “Can A Man Really Get Pregnant? Sure, It Might Kill Him” is the title of that article. He scans the paragraphs and finds out that the male pregnancy is not safe and life-threatening. He clicks another article, this time from Wikipedia and from Wikianswers. The answer is same: men can’t get pregnant. He sighs in relief. He decides to read one last article about mixed gonadal dysgenesis (what the hell is that? Yifan thinks) and after he finishes reading, he comes with a conclusion.
That maybe, maybe, Chanyeol really carries his baby right now.
Chanyeol is truly beautiful in his eyes: skin so soft and delicate, body so slender and lean, lips too soft and red. Perfect features of a woman that he has. He might be actually a woman trapped in male body; he might carry a uterus inside his abdomen.
Truth to be told, Yifan is happy that he will soon become a father, but then he isn’t ready. He is still young, he and Chanyeol are still young. Are they really ready to be parents?
Yifan shakes his head. Chanyeol will be the one who is suffering, and he can’t be selfish. He will take the responsibility, whatever it is.
“Hello? Chanyeol-ah?” he calls his lover softly, afraid that Chanyeol is actually asleep. “Are you okay? I’ll be coming home tomorrow. And we will go to the doctor together, okay? I love you.”
Even though he actually expects an ‘I love you too’ from the other line, but it’s also expected that he gets a loud snore as the answer instead. He chuckles and ends the call before slipping into the comforter. He has an early flight to catch in the morning.
*
“Gastritis?”
“Yes, Park Chanyeol sshi is having gastritis right now because of the high amount of alcohol in his gastric,” explains the doctor to Yifan. “Did you have a party before the symptoms appeared?”
“Yeah, the company held a small party a few days ago and I think I lost a tad bit of my self control,” Chanyeol grins sheepishly. “And honestly I’ve been under stress lately.”
“You can stop consuming Ibuprofen or Aspirin for now, it might trigger your nausea,” advices the doctor. “Do you perhaps bring the drugs you take on daily basis, for further examination?”
Chanyeol takes out a few bags of drugs and vitamins from his bag and hands them to the doctor. He takes a glance to the man sitting beside him, and he can hear Yifan grumbles in his breath. “Hyung, what’s wrong?”
“I literally flew here in this early morning,” Yifan mumbles. “Only to find out that you just got gastritis? How should I explain to Hyunkyun hyung about this?”
“Hey, I didn’t ask you to come here, though,” Chanyeol nudges his lover with his elbow.
“But I was worried about you!”
“Yes and that is so sweet of you, hyung,” he pokes the leader’s cheek tenderly. “Then why are you still pouting?”
“Baekhyun said that you might be… might carry…”
“Carry your child?” Chanyeol helps Yifan finishing his sentence, before stifling his laugh. “Hyung, you’re reading too many fanfictions lately, I guess.”
Yifan’s face goes red in embarrassment. “AM NOT!”
The clearing throat sound from the doctor effectively stops their childish quarrel. He waves one bag with ‘vitamin’ written on it and asks, “Park Chanyeol sshi, do you still take this vitamin on daily basis?”
Chanyeol shakes his head. “No, I don’t. I think I only took it just once. Why, doctor?”
The doctor smiles, rather apologetically as he takes one more glance to the blue pills inside the bag. “Well, I’m afraid someone has swapped your vitamin supply with Viagra.”
*****
A/N: Another random plot I got today when I was doing laundry. Seems like more hectic the schedule I get, the weirder plots I get as well.
Anyway, have you guys seen this teaser? I’m currently working on it and I have decided to release it on the day EXO finally make a comeback in Inkigayo. I don’t think they will come back soon, so more time for me to polish the story lol.
And, anybody up for krisyeol fans small gathering? :) (lol no it’s not a gathering, more like I-want-to-meet-all-of-you-in-person meeting, despite your pairings or biases)
Thank you for reading, guys! As usual, comments = vitamins or Viagra