(no subject)
im sitting here and im thinking. gregory and the hawk are playing next to me and its like im finding something i didnt know i had. im afraid to meet my boyfriend again. it sounds so fucked up and warped but its how i feel. im scared he wont like me and that ill mess up. And yet, im excited. i mean i actualy had a valentine this year and im kind of more socialable. sometimes its funny, you tink your just someone plain and other days you look at yourself and cant think why anyone could not like you. why anyone wouldnt want to be with you. Even your personality, which is key, shouldnt be holding you back you think. im feeling really good but my nervousness is causing a sleeping disorder. i miss him and yet im happy hes in new york. i feel bad for saying this but since this is my journal i might as well tell the truth.
oh and im sick today.