(no subject)
I have always had food issues. I will always have food issues. I've accepted the fact that I will never look at my body without thinking, "I hate this." For the most part, I can keep the fucked-up behaviors to a minimum. I will always want to starve myself, but wanting to starve myself doesn't mean that I have to starve myself.
When all you're doing is restricting -- cutting back "a little" on what you eat -- it's easy to claim you don't have a problem. But when you eat lunch at work between shifts and then suddenly, you're in the bathroom stall with your fingers down your throat for the first time in five years before you even have a chance to process what the fuck it is that you're doing . . . then it becomes pretty hard to deny that there is something wrong.
. . . and I'm clearly too old for this shit.
When all you're doing is restricting -- cutting back "a little" on what you eat -- it's easy to claim you don't have a problem. But when you eat lunch at work between shifts and then suddenly, you're in the bathroom stall with your fingers down your throat for the first time in five years before you even have a chance to process what the fuck it is that you're doing . . . then it becomes pretty hard to deny that there is something wrong.
. . . and I'm clearly too old for this shit.