stupid hospital......
i hate doctors. have i said that before? let me stress that.... i really truely loathe doctors, nurses, lab techs, all of those fuckers.... hate them. i know that they mean well. i know that it is not their life goals to make me insane, but it seems that way somedays. anyway, my stomach hurt the other day. it hurt in a way that it has never hurt before and my darling thought that it might be my appendix. a friend of mine agreed with my loves assesment, because of where this god awful pain in my stomach was located. by 7:30 in the evening, after a day of laying all curled up in a ball, drifting in and out of consciousness, i agreed that it might be a good idea to go to the er. so we sent the kiddos off and my love took me to the hospital. we go to triage and i tell them what is wrong and i let the nurse know about the mutant growth beside my belly button. i am still not entirely convinced that this thing is not the casue of my problems. see, i had this little ball under my skin on the right side of my belly button. it has been there for years and never changed in size or shape. then one day i woke up and it was the size of one of those large marbles. strange. it is not some freak zit or ingrown hair. nothing has yet to come out of it. but it started to shrink about the time this pain started in my stomach.... so, anyway, i told that to the nurse. i asked her if it might have erupted internally or something.... she kinda laughed that off and told me i was wrong, it was probably my appendix, go sit out in the waiting room and we will call you back...so off to wait we go...we get out there and stare at fat, mutant, white forgs in a fish tank for about an hour while we wait to get in. they call us back. they ask me whats wrong, aske me if i want pain medication, look shocked when i say no. i tried to explain to the doctor that i do not like pain meds... they eithor do nothing for me or make me sick. they then tell me to drink three glasses of this cold, grapefruit tasting robitussin shit so that they can later inject me with iodine and stick me in a tube to look at my insides.... fun fun yay. they take blood and pee and let me sit until about 2:00 am when they finally can stick me into that tube and fill me with iodine. ever been injected with iodine? its not so fun. the nurse lady tells me that i have to lay flat in this tube, which really hurts because my abdominal pain. i am only comfy when im all doubled over.... so i have to lay flat... great. then she tells me i have to be still. also a challenge because my sciatica makes my leg twitch when i am flat. she gives me a prop for under my knees to stop the twitching. okay. then she tells me the iodine will cause a warming effect on my body and that when it hits my bladder i will have a warming sensation, like i peed my pants. she tells me its actually kinda comfortable. so, im cold, twitchy, in pain, soon to be hot and feeling like i wet myself on top of this and its comfortable. the bitch was on crack, i swear to god... then she says, oh, and you'll have a not so pleasant metallic taste in your mouth too. what she didnt tell me was that my mouth would start to salavate so profusely that i couldnt swallow fast enough to gulp it all down. im in that tube getting scanned and i started cold sweating and salavating like a madman and i just knew that i was about to throw up all of that radioactive shit they made me drink. i started to freak out at that point. i told them to stop the iodine stuff now. i told them if they didnt that i was going to puke all of=ver everything and they would like it less than i would and puking was the last thing my stomach coulve taken at that moment. i wouldve passed out in my own vomit. so they stopped and the lady started giving me shit for not taking the pain pills and the blanket she was trying to make me take at some point in the future, i dont know... i started yelling and it was bad.... they finished scanning me after the vomit episode was over and took me back to the room still fussing about my refusal to let them help me. i just rolled over and ignored her at that point. the test results came in before three and it was not my appendix. it is not chrones or something like that. i told them that earlier. dont they listen.... i still think its that lump on my stomach. my darlings boss agrees with me... so does another friend of mine. but what do we know... i am supposed to follow up with my doctor. i have not done that yet. i will. i would like to know whats wrong with me. i am still not feeling better, although i am moving around better. i dont know. this sucks.