lies and deceit
what do you do when one you have trusted betrays you?
one you have known so long and loved so much that you'd give your life for them turns against you.
refuses help they know you need, breaks deals, and retracts offers, for the comfort of another.
i had been down. i was low and fucking up but i was keeping my head down and trying to stay out of the way. trying to be something better, but it was hard.
hard because of what i could see.
i saw something ugly coming.
i knew that my good fortune was to be jerked out from under my feet.
i avoided the situation as long as i could.
but eventually you can ignore things no more & you can be ignored no longer.
i speak only truth.
when i am asked what i see, i describe what i see.
when i am asked how i feel, i answer what i feel.
i have talked no trash unless trash is what i was talking about.
i will not say i did no wrong, but i will not say no wrong was done of me.
no one is perfect.
but some of us are more forgiving of imperfections than others.
some of us are willing to, a certian number of times, forgive someone no matter what they have done.
i have done this too many times. forgiven too much.
i have been taken advantage of too many times.
i have been told i have trust issues and that i need to learn to trust people, but how can i learn how to do this when all those i choose to trust choose to break my heart.
crush my feelings.
break my trust.
i live in fear of it, and these fears are played by hunters who can smell it.
i live in pain from the fear, in fear of the pain.
i will not walk in fear.
i will not live in pain.
i will be free to do as i choose, as what i choose to do does not hurt me, and when it does, i make it stop.
no one will ever change me.
no one will ever ask me to change for them or their clan.
if you do not accept me as i am, with all my cracks and holes and rips in me that you see, and you aren't willing to help glue or patch or stitch, then fuck you.
i don't need anyone....
i thought did....
but i never will again.
i have no regrets.
only lessons and learnings.
my future is brighter without the overpowering shadow of demands and enforcements.
without the foggy powertrips.
all i have learned, all i have taken with me, is mine forever.
of what i left behind, all of it is unmissed, and is gone forever.
one you have known so long and loved so much that you'd give your life for them turns against you.
refuses help they know you need, breaks deals, and retracts offers, for the comfort of another.
i had been down. i was low and fucking up but i was keeping my head down and trying to stay out of the way. trying to be something better, but it was hard.
hard because of what i could see.
i saw something ugly coming.
i knew that my good fortune was to be jerked out from under my feet.
i avoided the situation as long as i could.
but eventually you can ignore things no more & you can be ignored no longer.
i speak only truth.
when i am asked what i see, i describe what i see.
when i am asked how i feel, i answer what i feel.
i have talked no trash unless trash is what i was talking about.
i will not say i did no wrong, but i will not say no wrong was done of me.
no one is perfect.
but some of us are more forgiving of imperfections than others.
some of us are willing to, a certian number of times, forgive someone no matter what they have done.
i have done this too many times. forgiven too much.
i have been taken advantage of too many times.
i have been told i have trust issues and that i need to learn to trust people, but how can i learn how to do this when all those i choose to trust choose to break my heart.
crush my feelings.
break my trust.
i live in fear of it, and these fears are played by hunters who can smell it.
i live in pain from the fear, in fear of the pain.
i will not walk in fear.
i will not live in pain.
i will be free to do as i choose, as what i choose to do does not hurt me, and when it does, i make it stop.
no one will ever change me.
no one will ever ask me to change for them or their clan.
if you do not accept me as i am, with all my cracks and holes and rips in me that you see, and you aren't willing to help glue or patch or stitch, then fuck you.
i don't need anyone....
i thought did....
but i never will again.
i have no regrets.
only lessons and learnings.
my future is brighter without the overpowering shadow of demands and enforcements.
without the foggy powertrips.
all i have learned, all i have taken with me, is mine forever.
of what i left behind, all of it is unmissed, and is gone forever.