but my bomb didn't fall today, looked at the sky and prayed for metal rain

[mealready]

I hate New York City to death. I hate all the stupid jocks in sheep's clothing that hang out and now wear pink and think this means something. Today's macho endeavor: a pull-up competition on a tree. Don't want to look weak in front of your peers. Picture that along side the most annoying protestors that come to Union Square Park once or twice a week to say the same shit to people who don't even give a shit about politics unless it equals them getting a clever t-shirt, or really 9 times out of 10 an unclever t-shirt. Either way the protestors are fucking gay, with their big banner "stop the war or face mutiny now." They've been coming to Union Square for god knows how long with that same banner. What is their definition of "now?" Are they really even the kind of people that would shoot a cop in the face? Blow up city hall? Because that's what a mutiny would entail. I hate them so much. I wish the Church of Euthanasia would go to war protests and let them know that more people should die (especially on a planet holding 6 billion people but can only accomadate probably 4 billion). I'm feeling a lot like Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver, this place is just so full of scumbags, I want them all to die. I want the girls on the street that look at me to read hatred rather than a glimmer of hope that I'll ask for their phone number. I don't want any girls to look at or talk to me again. I hate you all. I already have a boyfriend and I couldn't be happier about the situation. More people need to fly more planes into this city. I'm flying out of Newark on Saturday, if the plane happens to double-back and fly right into the Iron Side Building or Empire State Building I'll be perfectly happy. I'd love to be an ember for that flame. Where are the American suicide bombers? Why can't people be scared to walk out on the street. "Today we'll have sunshine for the most part of the day, partly cloudy, and a 30% chance of terrorism." Living in NYC was the most disgusting idea ever. When you have a city that has a population bigger than some states you're gonna get a concentration of the dregs of society. I wish I went back to Portland. Though I'd probably still be back in Birmingham before long. It's not easy to find employment over there. I think I've mistaken my misanthropy for agoraphobia for too long. Maybe it's just New York and I'll be a jolly person again soon, or maybe it's just today.
It just sucks living right now. Why couldn't I have been born either before the world went to shit or while the world/humans die. Being in the middle is so damn unlucky.

We're making pizza tonight and playing Frying Pan and drinking, and I don't have to leave the house. Right now I can't stand Nichol's screaming, she's too excited and too happy to be around me. I just want to fill my stomach with food and drink. Frying Pan is gonna be so fucking gay unless I'm drunk.