On friends and fear......
I recently received an email from a friend that I haven't seen in over a year. We used to speak frequently via email, and sometimes on the phone. I treasure this friend, and love him a lot. Like me, he's married and has a family.
My hubby knows of him, and since he is secure in our marriage, doesn't fear the relationship my friend and I have. This relationship, with the exception of one event, has been purely loving and strictly plutonic (well, ok, flirty kisses at faire...).
The friend and I feel a kinship with one another that goes beyond sex and relationships, and is deep and loving. I think of him often, and miss his voice, both in print and over the phone, badly.
I don't understand why his family is so upset at our friendship. I don't understand what they fear. They certainly have nothing *to* fear....I have a husband and daughter I love very much, and after 18 happy years of marriage, I'm not about to leave him, for anyone or anything. And I certainly don't want my friend to abandon *his* family for me, as he loves them as deeply as I love my family. My hubby and I are and have been joined at the hip since we met in 1981, and our relationship is strong with ties of friendship, love, marriage, children and mutual areas of interest. I firmly believe that he is my other half. My friend is devoted to his family, and always has been.
It appears, however, that they feel somehow that he has done some kind of wrong.
My hubby, for his part, loves me deeply, and tells me so every day. He does not fear that a number of my friends are men. He does not fear that I play kissy-face with them at faire (he's been there when I do sometimes!), and he does not fear that I love some of my male friends. Were I single, a couple of them would be in serious danger were they also single. But, I am happily married, and will confine myself to playing kissy-face and having the occasional fantasy about those of my male friends that affect me That Way. No harm, no foul, and everyone has fun.
Except that for some reason, this one friend of mine, who does admittedly hold a special spot in my heart and always will, is in trouble with his family. I'm not exactly sure *why*, and since we no longer speak much together, I may never know. That fact that I may have caused him and his family pain, however unintentionally, haunts me. Even more so because his wife used to be a friend.
I know this is TMI for many, but this bothers me, and putting it here helps me to order my thoughts.
My hubby knows of him, and since he is secure in our marriage, doesn't fear the relationship my friend and I have. This relationship, with the exception of one event, has been purely loving and strictly plutonic (well, ok, flirty kisses at faire...).
The friend and I feel a kinship with one another that goes beyond sex and relationships, and is deep and loving. I think of him often, and miss his voice, both in print and over the phone, badly.
I don't understand why his family is so upset at our friendship. I don't understand what they fear. They certainly have nothing *to* fear....I have a husband and daughter I love very much, and after 18 happy years of marriage, I'm not about to leave him, for anyone or anything. And I certainly don't want my friend to abandon *his* family for me, as he loves them as deeply as I love my family. My hubby and I are and have been joined at the hip since we met in 1981, and our relationship is strong with ties of friendship, love, marriage, children and mutual areas of interest. I firmly believe that he is my other half. My friend is devoted to his family, and always has been.
It appears, however, that they feel somehow that he has done some kind of wrong.
My hubby, for his part, loves me deeply, and tells me so every day. He does not fear that a number of my friends are men. He does not fear that I play kissy-face with them at faire (he's been there when I do sometimes!), and he does not fear that I love some of my male friends. Were I single, a couple of them would be in serious danger were they also single. But, I am happily married, and will confine myself to playing kissy-face and having the occasional fantasy about those of my male friends that affect me That Way. No harm, no foul, and everyone has fun.
Except that for some reason, this one friend of mine, who does admittedly hold a special spot in my heart and always will, is in trouble with his family. I'm not exactly sure *why*, and since we no longer speak much together, I may never know. That fact that I may have caused him and his family pain, however unintentionally, haunts me. Even more so because his wife used to be a friend.
I know this is TMI for many, but this bothers me, and putting it here helps me to order my thoughts.