TMI: Porn with the sound off
God, it's been a whole two weeks or so since I DHM-ed* porn. Time to fix that:
I posted a link to something and Fraulein commented, "when one of the guys goes 'dump those balls on her face' it displeases me."
Indeed, what an indescribably awful thing to say.
1. "Dump" has scatalogical overtones, as well as a connotation of rubbish removal. It is a word in no way associated with sex. Unless one has some weird fetish that we are not going to think about.
2. Both the use of a demonstrative pronoun instead of a personal pronoun and the exclusion of the woman from the verbal exchange have a dehumanizing effect. The latter for obvious reasons, and the former because the demonstrative pronoun disconnects the man from his own genitalia--they aren't _his_ balls, they're _those balls_.
3. And on a purely practical level, since when is balls + face a great idea?
.
I have not, in fact, watched that clip with the sound on. I rarely watch porn with sound. At boarding school, there was some code of conduct to be followed when using the internet, and porn sites were understandably off-limits. Being a type-A rule-lover, I tried to follow this, and somehow explained away all my gay erotica as "online literary fiction". Upon starting an undergraduate degree, I was free to use the internet as I saw fit, but I had a roommate in my divided-double and therefore always left the sound off. I almost never watched indecent thing anyway, as the dubious plotting would quickly turn me off.**
.
When I moved off campus the next year, I had my own flat and quickly realized I could abuse my internet connection and myself to my heart's content. I began to watch porn with the sound on and immediately discovered, to my horror:
bizarre fake-moaning
uncalled-for screaming
Long Island accents
New Jersey accents
malopropisms
improperly expressed subjunctives
elementary grammatical errors
and a wealth of other horrors. Since then, I have always watched porn sans sound, and mentally supplied articulate and saucy dialogue.
---
*Expounded upon the "deep hidden meaning". Yes, I still use slang from boarding school. Rah.
**Note to Reedies: It's true! I AM an analytical machine!
I posted a link to something and Fraulein commented, "when one of the guys goes 'dump those balls on her face' it displeases me."
Indeed, what an indescribably awful thing to say.
1. "Dump" has scatalogical overtones, as well as a connotation of rubbish removal. It is a word in no way associated with sex. Unless one has some weird fetish that we are not going to think about.
2. Both the use of a demonstrative pronoun instead of a personal pronoun and the exclusion of the woman from the verbal exchange have a dehumanizing effect. The latter for obvious reasons, and the former because the demonstrative pronoun disconnects the man from his own genitalia--they aren't _his_ balls, they're _those balls_.
3. And on a purely practical level, since when is balls + face a great idea?
.
I have not, in fact, watched that clip with the sound on. I rarely watch porn with sound. At boarding school, there was some code of conduct to be followed when using the internet, and porn sites were understandably off-limits. Being a type-A rule-lover, I tried to follow this, and somehow explained away all my gay erotica as "online literary fiction". Upon starting an undergraduate degree, I was free to use the internet as I saw fit, but I had a roommate in my divided-double and therefore always left the sound off. I almost never watched indecent thing anyway, as the dubious plotting would quickly turn me off.**
.
When I moved off campus the next year, I had my own flat and quickly realized I could abuse my internet connection and myself to my heart's content. I began to watch porn with the sound on and immediately discovered, to my horror:
bizarre fake-moaning
uncalled-for screaming
Long Island accents
New Jersey accents
malopropisms
improperly expressed subjunctives
elementary grammatical errors
and a wealth of other horrors. Since then, I have always watched porn sans sound, and mentally supplied articulate and saucy dialogue.
---
*Expounded upon the "deep hidden meaning". Yes, I still use slang from boarding school. Rah.
**Note to Reedies: It's true! I AM an analytical machine!