taxi
nights like tonight ground me.
when i can rest in her lap,
and not have to feel so neurotic.
though i must admit to being sickingly stricken with blind fear.
i guess this path just seems all too familair,
like the prints left by my foot are still settled in place.
and where it will come to an end is plain and clear.
suppose it doesnt help that the shes the spitting image of "her".
though ironically when im with her,
and when i look at her,
i dont see "her".
confusing i know.
its just all that resa put me through,
i surely couldnt take that a second time.
my mothers suicide wasnt as life altering, scarring, and confusing.
if that at all begins to show the caliber of what had happened over the span of four months.
*refer to my old entries starting in 2004
i dont like thinking about it,
and its probably muchbetter if i dont.
its when im left alone with my thoughts that i suffer from neurosis the most.
and al i can seem to focus on is the past.
ugh,
i dont feel like putting all that shit on here right now.
maybe at a later date when i feel better about it.
so on other things...
going to california in a few days with family to see family.
im siked for that.
ive spent the last two weekends at beauty bar.
haha, some crazy fun nights ive had.
you can see some of those pics on my myspace, my link.
other than that,...
when i can rest in her lap,
and not have to feel so neurotic.
though i must admit to being sickingly stricken with blind fear.
i guess this path just seems all too familair,
like the prints left by my foot are still settled in place.
and where it will come to an end is plain and clear.
suppose it doesnt help that the shes the spitting image of "her".
though ironically when im with her,
and when i look at her,
i dont see "her".
confusing i know.
its just all that resa put me through,
i surely couldnt take that a second time.
my mothers suicide wasnt as life altering, scarring, and confusing.
if that at all begins to show the caliber of what had happened over the span of four months.
*refer to my old entries starting in 2004
i dont like thinking about it,
and its probably muchbetter if i dont.
its when im left alone with my thoughts that i suffer from neurosis the most.
and al i can seem to focus on is the past.
ugh,
i dont feel like putting all that shit on here right now.
maybe at a later date when i feel better about it.
so on other things...
going to california in a few days with family to see family.
im siked for that.
ive spent the last two weekends at beauty bar.
haha, some crazy fun nights ive had.
you can see some of those pics on my myspace, my link.
other than that,...