....
Wouldn't it be nice if we could get what we wanted WHEN we wanted it in terms of relationships?
I've come to realize that "timing" is everything when it comes to love. Say for six months things seem totally perfect, but the next two, everything feels completely upside down.
For years he's been "the one" then for months and months he isn't...then he is again...then he isn't. And I'm pretty sure that's the same way he feels about me. Have we become better friends? Is there supposed to be something else we're feeling, or is this it and just the way love happens...like being "in love" is something that goes away with time...but should it, and does it? These questions plague me.
I think about the "easy" life I could have had, had I married the last three guys who would have gladly put a ring on my finger had I let them. One, a successful concert photographer who will blow up in a year or two, the other shoots bows, plays rugby and makes more money than I'll ever fathom, and then my super hottie who wanted nothing more than to have babies and paint the picket fence white.
Anyone of those situations would likely have me living in a home now, and not a shitty apartment, and a ring on my finger, instead of trying to play the dating game at 25 when all you do is work all the time.
Instead, I'm stuck in a three year relationship that I feel won't progress until I have a head full of gray hair and bifocals, and then who knows if I'll even want him by then...that fucking "timing". Should I just enjoy my glory days now and quit waiting around for what's "uncertain". Cause shit, if he's not the one anyway, why waste my time?
I could be starting a sexual revolution! i could be fulfilling fantasies and dating wildly with the best of them before I get old and washed-up and start getting wrinkles. Thirty is just five years away, and for some reason, that number scares me...like that's when childhood ends and I'm forced to grow up and be responsible when in reality I'm ready to rebel because I was so committed throughout my 20s.
I've come to realize that "timing" is everything when it comes to love. Say for six months things seem totally perfect, but the next two, everything feels completely upside down.
For years he's been "the one" then for months and months he isn't...then he is again...then he isn't. And I'm pretty sure that's the same way he feels about me. Have we become better friends? Is there supposed to be something else we're feeling, or is this it and just the way love happens...like being "in love" is something that goes away with time...but should it, and does it? These questions plague me.
I think about the "easy" life I could have had, had I married the last three guys who would have gladly put a ring on my finger had I let them. One, a successful concert photographer who will blow up in a year or two, the other shoots bows, plays rugby and makes more money than I'll ever fathom, and then my super hottie who wanted nothing more than to have babies and paint the picket fence white.
Anyone of those situations would likely have me living in a home now, and not a shitty apartment, and a ring on my finger, instead of trying to play the dating game at 25 when all you do is work all the time.
Instead, I'm stuck in a three year relationship that I feel won't progress until I have a head full of gray hair and bifocals, and then who knows if I'll even want him by then...that fucking "timing". Should I just enjoy my glory days now and quit waiting around for what's "uncertain". Cause shit, if he's not the one anyway, why waste my time?
I could be starting a sexual revolution! i could be fulfilling fantasies and dating wildly with the best of them before I get old and washed-up and start getting wrinkles. Thirty is just five years away, and for some reason, that number scares me...like that's when childhood ends and I'm forced to grow up and be responsible when in reality I'm ready to rebel because I was so committed throughout my 20s.