Little boys still pushin big wheels
Summer News:
Glocester- Don't make me laugh. I really would love to really know what these girls are thinking. I watched an interview from Good Morning America today (its on youtube if youre ambitious enough to search) and it was of a teenage girl and her babys daddy. She claims there is no "pact" and uses words like "mistake" and "coincidence." Cmon...really? Any idiot knows how to use a condom, what the morning after pill is, how birth control works etc etc. There really is no excuse for teenage pregnancy in my opinion...i mean, i get the occasional slip up here and there. But i feel like theres always that one or two girls who get pregnant in high school that makes the rest of the students say "ewww no im not an idiot." So honestly, there is no way some high school girl is going to convince me that 17 girls getting pregnant at once wasnt planned.
I noticed she spoke alot about how ridiculous she found it that the school did not distribute birth control. I know this is common in other contries...but not here in the US...obviously. She stated that her peers feel embarassed going to drug stores and talking to their parents. I get that. While explaining this interview to my mother she immediately said "what about Family Planning?" bringing up the one time in my sophmore year of high school she found a business card from family planning in Taunton. I remember telling my mom that i was holding the card for a friend because she didnt want her parents to find it. Really...it was given to me after my first trip to family planning after "losing" my virginity.
Basically...I understand what this girl means by embarassing. I remember going with my 2 best friends and feeling scared and embarassed as all hell...but found it funny when I saw other girls from my school also sitting in the office with me. Its awkward...but every girl under the age of 18 goes with their friends so its not terrible.
My opinion of these pregnancies is not that these girls found Jamie Lynn or Juno glamorous..no not at all. I honestly have no idea what the fuck these girls were thinking. My mom held a theory that these girls thought that they realized they didnt have the money to goto college so they all decided to have a baby. And again, I dont think this was the case. When youre between the ages of 14-17, you think about the 'now.' When i was with my friends i was thinking about who was going to steal the alcohol from their parents, what chaos could be started on the weekends, where we could party, etc etc. Though these girls could have just felt weird and an outsider when people talked about college, I dont think they thought having a baby would make them feel better.
I came up with a hypothesis that maybe these girls are ridiculously hippy and over influenced by their protesting parents who grew up in the 60s and their mothers burning their bras- that there could be a possibility these girls acted out in a way to get the school to hand out birth control to students anonymously. I only say this by how much the young girl in the intereview seemed so mad that the school can't.
...its definately not a schools place to hand out birth control to its students. Its not a fucking doctors office. Thats why when a student gets sick theyre sent home so their parents can deal with it...not them. Who knows...maybe they just didnt want to go to college and just had a baby to get out of it. I'll find out soon I'm sure.
MY LIFE
Well Lets see. I work 3 jobs if you consider babysitting a job.
Ziggys- my boss hates me. Okay...well i dont think he hates me, but he loves yelling at me...especially in front of customers. its like his thing. I really dont mind..I think its funny most of the time..but i need to remember to start going to this job in a good mood and with adequet amount of sleep. A day after my friend steve decided to piss me off by talking all night long while i had to sleep in a room with him and our 3 friends. He really would not shut the hell up or stop farting. I dont think i got to finally sleep till about 530/6am...and it was also a long night of heavy drinking. Therefore I was pretty overexhausted at work. My boss made a big deal over somehting and yelled at me and I almost started crying. At the point when i wanted to climb into a freezer and start letting tears fall...i realized i was definately just lacking sleep...I dont cry.
Gap- I fold clothes all day. And once im done...i go back to that pile of jeans i just folded and take them apart and fold them again. Slowest. Job. Ever.
Babysitter- I love this girl. Absolutely beautiful and incredibly smart for a 3? 4? year old. We play house and store. Somtimes i get to play her 21 year old sister who goes to college in Norway, but i take a train to visit at her house. Oh and shes 19 and cooks me breakfast in bed...but sometimes she doesnt wake up and I have to pretend to be the doctor to make her unsick. Then sometimes we paint pine cones or I'll play ringtones on my cell phone and we dance at the beach. I think she could be the one who saves me from myself.
Sometimes I still get lonely and sometimes I cry over the fact that I feel like I can't keep anyone happy. I still get scared of being alone because for 6 months I could only picture my life by someone elses side and now im finally realizing that will never happen....and Its good and I should be happy that I wont ever have to be by his side anymore. It just really takes away from myconfidence and self esteem when I feel like no one will ever want me in that way. Im definately over him and I dont think I would ever be able to bring myself to go back to him after all this time of thinking and realizing how horrible he was to me. Its just frustrating knowing that he sitll doesnt see it that he did somehting so wrong and that hes not sorry.
I know for a fact I was never LOVED by ANY of my past boyfriends. That is a fact. Next time..I need to not trust to quickly and so fast. I need to stop WANTING to believe.
Glocester- Don't make me laugh. I really would love to really know what these girls are thinking. I watched an interview from Good Morning America today (its on youtube if youre ambitious enough to search) and it was of a teenage girl and her babys daddy. She claims there is no "pact" and uses words like "mistake" and "coincidence." Cmon...really? Any idiot knows how to use a condom, what the morning after pill is, how birth control works etc etc. There really is no excuse for teenage pregnancy in my opinion...i mean, i get the occasional slip up here and there. But i feel like theres always that one or two girls who get pregnant in high school that makes the rest of the students say "ewww no im not an idiot." So honestly, there is no way some high school girl is going to convince me that 17 girls getting pregnant at once wasnt planned.
I noticed she spoke alot about how ridiculous she found it that the school did not distribute birth control. I know this is common in other contries...but not here in the US...obviously. She stated that her peers feel embarassed going to drug stores and talking to their parents. I get that. While explaining this interview to my mother she immediately said "what about Family Planning?" bringing up the one time in my sophmore year of high school she found a business card from family planning in Taunton. I remember telling my mom that i was holding the card for a friend because she didnt want her parents to find it. Really...it was given to me after my first trip to family planning after "losing" my virginity.
Basically...I understand what this girl means by embarassing. I remember going with my 2 best friends and feeling scared and embarassed as all hell...but found it funny when I saw other girls from my school also sitting in the office with me. Its awkward...but every girl under the age of 18 goes with their friends so its not terrible.
My opinion of these pregnancies is not that these girls found Jamie Lynn or Juno glamorous..no not at all. I honestly have no idea what the fuck these girls were thinking. My mom held a theory that these girls thought that they realized they didnt have the money to goto college so they all decided to have a baby. And again, I dont think this was the case. When youre between the ages of 14-17, you think about the 'now.' When i was with my friends i was thinking about who was going to steal the alcohol from their parents, what chaos could be started on the weekends, where we could party, etc etc. Though these girls could have just felt weird and an outsider when people talked about college, I dont think they thought having a baby would make them feel better.
I came up with a hypothesis that maybe these girls are ridiculously hippy and over influenced by their protesting parents who grew up in the 60s and their mothers burning their bras- that there could be a possibility these girls acted out in a way to get the school to hand out birth control to students anonymously. I only say this by how much the young girl in the intereview seemed so mad that the school can't.
...its definately not a schools place to hand out birth control to its students. Its not a fucking doctors office. Thats why when a student gets sick theyre sent home so their parents can deal with it...not them. Who knows...maybe they just didnt want to go to college and just had a baby to get out of it. I'll find out soon I'm sure.
MY LIFE
Well Lets see. I work 3 jobs if you consider babysitting a job.
Ziggys- my boss hates me. Okay...well i dont think he hates me, but he loves yelling at me...especially in front of customers. its like his thing. I really dont mind..I think its funny most of the time..but i need to remember to start going to this job in a good mood and with adequet amount of sleep. A day after my friend steve decided to piss me off by talking all night long while i had to sleep in a room with him and our 3 friends. He really would not shut the hell up or stop farting. I dont think i got to finally sleep till about 530/6am...and it was also a long night of heavy drinking. Therefore I was pretty overexhausted at work. My boss made a big deal over somehting and yelled at me and I almost started crying. At the point when i wanted to climb into a freezer and start letting tears fall...i realized i was definately just lacking sleep...I dont cry.
Gap- I fold clothes all day. And once im done...i go back to that pile of jeans i just folded and take them apart and fold them again. Slowest. Job. Ever.
Babysitter- I love this girl. Absolutely beautiful and incredibly smart for a 3? 4? year old. We play house and store. Somtimes i get to play her 21 year old sister who goes to college in Norway, but i take a train to visit at her house. Oh and shes 19 and cooks me breakfast in bed...but sometimes she doesnt wake up and I have to pretend to be the doctor to make her unsick. Then sometimes we paint pine cones or I'll play ringtones on my cell phone and we dance at the beach. I think she could be the one who saves me from myself.
Sometimes I still get lonely and sometimes I cry over the fact that I feel like I can't keep anyone happy. I still get scared of being alone because for 6 months I could only picture my life by someone elses side and now im finally realizing that will never happen....and Its good and I should be happy that I wont ever have to be by his side anymore. It just really takes away from myconfidence and self esteem when I feel like no one will ever want me in that way. Im definately over him and I dont think I would ever be able to bring myself to go back to him after all this time of thinking and realizing how horrible he was to me. Its just frustrating knowing that he sitll doesnt see it that he did somehting so wrong and that hes not sorry.
I know for a fact I was never LOVED by ANY of my past boyfriends. That is a fact. Next time..I need to not trust to quickly and so fast. I need to stop WANTING to believe.