Strike me down.

[me_as_a_mom]

Maybe there is a God and he does these things to me so I have to deal with it to make me stronger or something. Or maybe he is punishing me for something I've done. I don't know what I've done to deserve anything that has ever happened to me. I've never stolen anything from anyone(well, nothing of importance), I don't lie anymore(I used to when I was little to TRY to keep myself out of trouble which didn't work by the way), and when I do it is pretty much to protect someones feelings because it is hard for me to tell someone something bad. I just don't know what I've ever done to deserve the bad stuff I have had to deal with in my life. I finally felt all happy and then it starts going down hill. I am really feeling like there is no point in happiness. I felt this way before and it wasn't pretty. I don't want to feel this way. I love being happy and in love. I don't know what to do. Especially without my other half. I can't function without him. Everything makes me want to cry. Everything makes me miss him so much. I can't do anything. I just want to go home and be happy again. If there is a God and I am supposed to learn from this and grow and whatnot please help me to get back to where I was when I smiled. I miss the happy me.

Lots of love,
Mommy