Left With No Reason, We Come Undone
Today, I realized that our choice of drugs might say more about us than we might expect
Just an idle thought... I was thinking about the possibly temporary though nonetheless enjoyable lucidity I've been feeling recently. And I was thinking about my consumption tonight of a fair-sized can of caffeine (and the report I wrote to a friend about the effects of a drink she sells, depending on the magical buzz-inducing effect of cocoa, acai and a whole bunch of other shit. And I was thinking to myself that this was a very bad and very stupid idea! BUT WHYY?!
Well, because when I am caffeinated, I tend to think in a very straight line. This is great for getting some things done (my experiences with stress and amphetamines are similar.) But it is awful for creativity and goddawful for mindfulness, which is what I am aiming for right now. It stymies one's imagination, and forces all thoughts through the kind of straightforward processing model that could only be compared to those Play-Do molding devices.
But why do I love the effect so much? And why have my experiences with amphetamines been so rewarding? I think the answer might, in part, be because I am addicted to their particular effect. I used to think that the effect in question was "feeling accomplished" but I now believe that it's more general than that. The effect's related to being able to become a fuller embodiment of those traits I just described: linear thinking, productivity and production. Initiation and Completion. And I think that these traits are ones I really identify with, in my need for productivity, perfectionism, my stubbornness.
I'd venture then that people with different personalities would relate more to other drugs with different effects, embodying different traits. Maybe the open-mindedness of shrooms? Maybe the empathy of E? Maybe the insouciance of weed? They are more than just drugs... they are means of relating to certain parts of who we are, who we think we are or (most tellingly) who we'd like to be...
Just an idle thought... I was thinking about the possibly temporary though nonetheless enjoyable lucidity I've been feeling recently. And I was thinking about my consumption tonight of a fair-sized can of caffeine (and the report I wrote to a friend about the effects of a drink she sells, depending on the magical buzz-inducing effect of cocoa, acai and a whole bunch of other shit. And I was thinking to myself that this was a very bad and very stupid idea! BUT WHYY?!
Well, because when I am caffeinated, I tend to think in a very straight line. This is great for getting some things done (my experiences with stress and amphetamines are similar.) But it is awful for creativity and goddawful for mindfulness, which is what I am aiming for right now. It stymies one's imagination, and forces all thoughts through the kind of straightforward processing model that could only be compared to those Play-Do molding devices.
But why do I love the effect so much? And why have my experiences with amphetamines been so rewarding? I think the answer might, in part, be because I am addicted to their particular effect. I used to think that the effect in question was "feeling accomplished" but I now believe that it's more general than that. The effect's related to being able to become a fuller embodiment of those traits I just described: linear thinking, productivity and production. Initiation and Completion. And I think that these traits are ones I really identify with, in my need for productivity, perfectionism, my stubbornness.
I'd venture then that people with different personalities would relate more to other drugs with different effects, embodying different traits. Maybe the open-mindedness of shrooms? Maybe the empathy of E? Maybe the insouciance of weed? They are more than just drugs... they are means of relating to certain parts of who we are, who we think we are or (most tellingly) who we'd like to be...