(no subject)
i have so little faith in myself its just funny at times. the other day, i found this notebook that is absolutely CRAMMED with tidbits and stuff. it also contains typed poems i had written previously. when i wrote them i weren't all that keen on them. when i read them bakc having forgotton all abnout them, i thought they were great. for like, a second. then i started to think 'well im biased, i wrote them' and 'they're too depressing. why cant i be more cheerful'. take today. i got the promotion i'd be hoping for. i was so happy. for about 3 seconds. then i thought 'well he's not as forthright as linda, maybe she wouldnt have employed me. maybe the other candidates werent as good as ive been told they were.' and 'its only coz im an internal candidate'. why cant i be happy for myself???? why do i have to put such a negative spin on everything i do?? when will i ever be truly happy??? why cant i be proud of my achievments?? im a retail manager at the tender age of 22 for crying out loud. that doesnt happen everyday. of course i know the answers to all those questions. i heard from a friend that KW is still fat. thats good to know. and NH is still with his girlfriend. tho i dont know when he's gonna come out of the closet. and MG is a stripper. wow. that should, if anything, make me feel better lol but it deosnt.