It's been a summer...
...and a fall, winter, spring, summer, and you get the idea. As a quick recap of my life I got the internship, left the internship, graduated, and am now working at Scott Byron & Co. in Lake Bluff and living in Evanston. Can you believe it?!? I hardly can, all grown up and making life decisions and paying bills. The real world is rather lame, but I suppose there is the freedom of it all that's a bit intoxicating.
I bought a pair of super sassy boots that I adore above all else, although the first time I wore them they gave me blisters. Unkind, to be sure. To wear with these phenomenal boots I bought some skinny jeans. SKINNY JEANS. I'm not exactly skinny, in fact I'm not skinny at all, I'm a curvy average girl and I had some serious skinny jean doubts. I see it as my civic duty to not gross everyone out with my body and bits. However, these jeans also fit like a dream. Imagine my delight when walking home from Jewel I was catcalled. I don't care what people say about how rude and degrading it is, when someone tells me I'm beautiful I smile like a fool and my mood is lifted indefinitely. Here's what he said: "You are so beautiful, oh my God!" Said in awe not with sarcasm or swift horror. I walked a little straighter and loved my boots a little more. Smile smile smile.
I've been reading vampire stories like I'm a drug addict and these novels are cocaine. I can't stop, it's almost embarrassing. Reading all these romance novels and now these supernatural romances leaves me a little depressed with the humdrum of reality. Where is my eternity? Where is my magic? I don't know how to quite describe the feeling of loneliness when I come to grips with a world with no magic and no supernatural. Say what you want about the magic of nature and the magic of the universe and UFOs, it's no vampire or werewolf or fairy, etc... Is it too much to ask to want something amazing?
I'm off to see Frank in Iowa tomorrow, still together after almost 4 years (in Feb.) Yikes! He's lucky I love him, or maybe the other way around...love and devotion baby, I can't get enough...that's a song reference, but I appreciate the sentiment of it. I told Frank to find something for us to do, typically we end up at the mall, but I'm hoping for something more. Wish wish wish.
I don't know what I expected when I graduated and entered the working world and the 8 to 5 grind, but I thought that by living closer to Chicago that I'd be a little doer and go getter, but here I sit in the apartment with my roommate night after night and it's just the same as any other place and time. Except now I don't have the convenience of having all my friends and Frank nearby. I want to be able to walk over to Melissa's or Nikki's or Nick's and just hang out. At least I'm living with Joey so it's like I've taken a part of college with me. It's a good transition. I was a little wistful when August came and went and I didn't go back to Champaign. It's been my home, of sorts, for 4 years and graduation is like ripping a bandaid off. It's so abrupt and somewhat painful. It kind of feels like I ripped the bandaid off too soon so the wound still stings. Maybe my education is wound and it's festering to learn. I don't know if that even makes sense. I want to go back, I feel my brain rotting, but maybe I can just find some local classes that can teach me pottery or sewing or something interesting like that.
I still want to learn Mandarin and I want to get back into playing the Clarinet. I miss playing, but not the 16th notes. Maybe I can learn how to double tongue. Who knew that music could be so lewd. Yowza.
Well I'm off and maybe I'll post again instead of abandoning this little journal. We shall see!
I bought a pair of super sassy boots that I adore above all else, although the first time I wore them they gave me blisters. Unkind, to be sure. To wear with these phenomenal boots I bought some skinny jeans. SKINNY JEANS. I'm not exactly skinny, in fact I'm not skinny at all, I'm a curvy average girl and I had some serious skinny jean doubts. I see it as my civic duty to not gross everyone out with my body and bits. However, these jeans also fit like a dream. Imagine my delight when walking home from Jewel I was catcalled. I don't care what people say about how rude and degrading it is, when someone tells me I'm beautiful I smile like a fool and my mood is lifted indefinitely. Here's what he said: "You are so beautiful, oh my God!" Said in awe not with sarcasm or swift horror. I walked a little straighter and loved my boots a little more. Smile smile smile.
I've been reading vampire stories like I'm a drug addict and these novels are cocaine. I can't stop, it's almost embarrassing. Reading all these romance novels and now these supernatural romances leaves me a little depressed with the humdrum of reality. Where is my eternity? Where is my magic? I don't know how to quite describe the feeling of loneliness when I come to grips with a world with no magic and no supernatural. Say what you want about the magic of nature and the magic of the universe and UFOs, it's no vampire or werewolf or fairy, etc... Is it too much to ask to want something amazing?
I'm off to see Frank in Iowa tomorrow, still together after almost 4 years (in Feb.) Yikes! He's lucky I love him, or maybe the other way around...love and devotion baby, I can't get enough...that's a song reference, but I appreciate the sentiment of it. I told Frank to find something for us to do, typically we end up at the mall, but I'm hoping for something more. Wish wish wish.
I don't know what I expected when I graduated and entered the working world and the 8 to 5 grind, but I thought that by living closer to Chicago that I'd be a little doer and go getter, but here I sit in the apartment with my roommate night after night and it's just the same as any other place and time. Except now I don't have the convenience of having all my friends and Frank nearby. I want to be able to walk over to Melissa's or Nikki's or Nick's and just hang out. At least I'm living with Joey so it's like I've taken a part of college with me. It's a good transition. I was a little wistful when August came and went and I didn't go back to Champaign. It's been my home, of sorts, for 4 years and graduation is like ripping a bandaid off. It's so abrupt and somewhat painful. It kind of feels like I ripped the bandaid off too soon so the wound still stings. Maybe my education is wound and it's festering to learn. I don't know if that even makes sense. I want to go back, I feel my brain rotting, but maybe I can just find some local classes that can teach me pottery or sewing or something interesting like that.
I still want to learn Mandarin and I want to get back into playing the Clarinet. I miss playing, but not the 16th notes. Maybe I can learn how to double tongue. Who knew that music could be so lewd. Yowza.
Well I'm off and maybe I'll post again instead of abandoning this little journal. We shall see!