(no subject)
I didn't go to work today. Went to a funeral.
My cousin Emily had a little 4 month old boy named Derek. Friday night, his dad laid him on the couch, on his back and went to do something then not ten minutes later came back into the room and he wasn't breathing.
They're pretty sure it was SIDS. What else could it be? What else causes something so little and innocent to stop working in general? I cried like a fucking baby. With my niece at 3 years, I should be thanking God every fucking moment I see her.
After we came back, Mom went and picked up Elizabeth at Day Care. She came into the living room at grandma's and i wanted to hold her and not let go. I have no idea what I'd do if I ever lost her. I love her with every (occassionally evil) fiber in my body. I'm tearing up now even as I write this.
And at the graveyard, we went past my grandfather's tombstone. He's been gone nearly 8 years, (on april 1st). My mom, dad, two sisters, and two of my cousins were walking and Dad goes, 'You're gonna walk right past your grandfather and not say "hello"? Melissa laughed and the group stopped as dad said, "Hi Paw-paw", which was John Robert's nickname for grandpa when he was little. I started tearing up then and just kept walking.
I fucking hate being sad. I really really do. There's just this helplessness of it all and it kills me. ::sighs:: I can't wait to talk to Nick tonight.
but first, Puppets.
love to all. be safe.
mary
My cousin Emily had a little 4 month old boy named Derek. Friday night, his dad laid him on the couch, on his back and went to do something then not ten minutes later came back into the room and he wasn't breathing.
They're pretty sure it was SIDS. What else could it be? What else causes something so little and innocent to stop working in general? I cried like a fucking baby. With my niece at 3 years, I should be thanking God every fucking moment I see her.
After we came back, Mom went and picked up Elizabeth at Day Care. She came into the living room at grandma's and i wanted to hold her and not let go. I have no idea what I'd do if I ever lost her. I love her with every (occassionally evil) fiber in my body. I'm tearing up now even as I write this.
And at the graveyard, we went past my grandfather's tombstone. He's been gone nearly 8 years, (on april 1st). My mom, dad, two sisters, and two of my cousins were walking and Dad goes, 'You're gonna walk right past your grandfather and not say "hello"? Melissa laughed and the group stopped as dad said, "Hi Paw-paw", which was John Robert's nickname for grandpa when he was little. I started tearing up then and just kept walking.
I fucking hate being sad. I really really do. There's just this helplessness of it all and it kills me. ::sighs:: I can't wait to talk to Nick tonight.
but first, Puppets.
love to all. be safe.
mary