Scrambled Brains
Originally published at Delicious Placebo. You can comment here or there.
Well it’s official, the ECT has destroyed my memory. I would list all of the things that I can no longer remember.. but.. I can’t remember what they are. I couldn’t remember how to get home from the hospital today. That’s a trip that I drive every single day and absolutely nothing looked familiar on the drive. I have forgotten about ten times what day of the week it is. On the up side, I think I’ve also forgotten how miserable I was. I don’t even remember who I used to be, what I used to like to eat, what I did for fun, nothing. Everyone in the day hospital program was commenting yesterday about how different I seem, how much happier I appear to be. This is a good thing. I have even been thinking this week about how much I’m looking forward to going back to school eventually, and got excited over the prospect of studying. Suffice to say - I think the ECT is working. It is certainly having its negative side effects but I feel like the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Four more treatments and I’m done (I think?). Hopefully I’ll be able to go back to work when I’m done. I’m not even sure if I still have a job (my 12 weeks of FMLA are up but I’m still receiving disability).