I wish I could sleep....

[mdntepoet]

Soundly .. for one night..

without the nightmares haunting me..

without feeling a lover brush against me.. that will be gone come daylight's visit..

without wondering.. yet again.. what it's like.. to be.....

That other guy...

for i'm tired,
tired of inspiration,
tired of longing, and quenching desire...

Tired of having it all ripped away again.. splattered on the pavement..

I ripe tomato I must be,
hanging so dangerously...
Low, easy to pick, delicious in appearance and flavor..

every time the wind blows.. every time the wind blows..

It makes me tired, hanging myself out here.. on the end of this limb..
I do not want to pick up the pieces anymore..
I'm often not sure just what is left to pick up.

pick up, the back of a pickup, on it's way to market
I am meat at the market
sold to a pretty face,
a smile, a show of grace

I am for sale, or lease, or trade..

But I am damn tired of being passed around..

That other guy... here when needed
with a shoulder, an ear, two hands to hold one near..

I'm tired of waking up the next day.. alone...

is it so bad?
to be an object,
a frequently visited break from the ordinary, the regular
A vacation from promises made, and relationships still held

Is it so bad to be the one they always run too, for physical things,
for those other needs,
is it so bad to live like this?

But I think I tire of the market, the lies, the banter of barter
I tire of being pulled one way or the next...without warning..
where has my honesty run off to this time...

Honesty, a nickname for a girl, but not just any girl...
A mystical unicorn.. we all look for.. and swear to see glimmer from in the distance..
yet never quite seem to reach..
a mirage in the desert offers less lies than a woman named honesty..
and it's wrath a bit less dry and abrasive on the skin..

I really just want to sleep.
And forget once again, she ever existed...