Gay bars and bridal showers ... this is Marvin's weekend
The things we do for friends!
Saturday was my friend Danielle's bridal shower, and since I'm in her bridal party, I was invited. Since I wasn't driving three hours just to be at a party and then drive home, I came down the night before and we went to party. That's right; I will drive three hours to be with you, but I must be bribed with partying.
Even when that means I'm partying at a gay bar in Somerset, NJ, at an '80s night. Don't worry, Robert Drake and Marilyn Thomas, this wasn't no Sex Dwarf. Though the DJ did play Rick James' "Give It To Me" - I wouldn't mind a little more funk at Sex Dwarf :) The crowd was light but big enough to fill a dance floor, if they all went out there. The drinks weren't too bad, and the music was fine, some '80s with Lady GaGa and Britney mixed in. First time I ever got to dance to Lady GaGa, and she's great dance music.
I threw myself into the throng of boys and danced my ass off, because I'm forever the dancefloor mingler. I was advised by one guy to shake it and not break it. Otherwise Danielle and I danced a ton together, with me flinging her across the floor a lot.
I danced with one other woman, who was happy to dance with me and then I think she smelled the straight on me, so she went back to grinding all over her girlfriends and the gay boys she came with. And then she was making out with one of the gay boys, so I had to turn away before I vomited.
This bar had male strippers the following night, but I guess we got a preview Friday since there was some baby-oiled hardbody dancing on the box. He was up there in his backwards baseball camp and briefs like Marky Mark or somebody. He got a lot of tips, including from Danielle and me. Danielle then said something about me being in good shape like this guy, and I said "I never looked like that! I'm good, but he's really good!"
Otherwise, Danielle and I got good and sweaty and stayed out late, a welcome change of pace. Been trying to get out dancing more lately, and I totally have these past few months. Soon enough I'll be working nights and weekends, and no more dancing for me.
The next day was the shower. I survived it, somehow. When I finally got in that room full of women, I had to keep telling myself to have a good time. I played the silly trivia games and gift bingo* and watch Danielle wear a hat made of paper and ribbons from the presents. I did it all, and only yelled at someone once. (No extended lingerie discussions at the bridal shower, ladies; I don't want to hear about your underwear unless you're prepared to model it for me.) I was terribly out of place but wasn't made so. Danielle kept looking at me during the shower, I guess to see what I was doing OK. I had a good time, all in all.
And I did have to warn the bridesmaids that I may end up looking prettier than them at the wedding, and I hope that's OK with them.
So after gay-bar dancing and bridal showering, I had to reload my straight man quotient. I did what any sane man does; I went to the nudie bar. It went something like this:
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