Friends lost, and found again
Saturday was a day for friends. One traveled to me, and I traveled to another.
I spent the morning and afternoon with varouna, who was in town visiting her mom. we watched TV and talked at my place, then got lunch at a new Thai place in Southington. (There's a Thai place in Southington?) Also, I got to treat Chantal to her first-ever water ice - despite her years in Philadelphia, she'd never gone to a Rita's Water Ice. So there we were, sitting on a bench next to the Rita's, sucking down cherry regulars like two 15-year-olds on a date. We also went to Fables comic book store, and I showed Chantal some of the stores and restaurants down by the main green in town.
After hanging with Chantal and seeing her mom again, I got myself ready to hit the road for Highland Park, NJ to attend my friend Danielle's graduation party. She's getting her doctorate in biomedical engineering and has begun work at Johnson & Johnson.
This was a big night for me in a number of ways. Danielle and I had a lot of catching up to do, and a friendship to rescue. Danielle and I have known each other since high school when we did theater together, and she dated my best friend in junior and senior years. That relationship ended shortly after we all started college, but I stayed friends with both. (The funny thing is that she and I talked more and probably were closer friends than she was with him. That definitely was the case for her friend that she set me up with in senior year.)
But as college went on, we grew busier and busier, and this friend I was very close with began to drift away. Didn't see each other, didn't hear from each other. I tried my hardest, but it got hard to keep calling when no one would answer. (I probably heard from her about 10 times in the last eight years - not quite what you expect) And as she withdrew, each time we did talk, I'd be walked through one major life change after another - the biggest one being that she went from dating men to seeing a woman.
I had to question: Do I really know her anymore? How would I fit into her life, when I didn't even know what it was? And so we talked it out a few months ago, that we had to reconnect. And now I would be walking into her girlfriend Tanya's home, into a party full of people I don't know, to hang with someone I had to get to know again. While I usually do fine in those kind of situations, it's still not an easy task. Plus, how much time would I have to really catch up with Danielle the way we needed to?
Any concerns began to melt away the second Danielle saw me and jumped into my arms. They melted away more as I met other people at the party and we got the talking and joking. And it all really began to melt away as Danielle's girlfriend broke out the liquers from Cyprus, her sword collection, and the vampire porn. A much-needed wild night out where I could get happily drunk since I was staying the night. Danielle and I got to catch up for real as the guests left, and we cleaned and sobered up. A reckoning was had, a friendship truly alive again for the first time in years - and we found out that our close friendship was stretched but never broken.
And how wonderful is technology, to sit around the laptop with Danielle and Tanya the next morning, and show them my life in pictures over the last three years, and with the woman who has made them so worthwhile. Rosemary, they think you're cute! Tanya's a hockey fan (she's Canadian, so duh), and she really wants to see ESPN, so we're working on them visiting. Two weekends in a row of high school reunions, but this was the more meaningful one to me.
On the drive back to Bristol on Sunday, I called my mom, Rosemary's mom, called a bunch of other moms I know. And I spent Mother's Day the best day I know how - meeting a co-worker for a business dinner at Outback Steakhouse. We never work the same shift any more, and we get along great, so it was nice to sit and talk with him after not seeing each other for a couple of months.
Anyway, I'm really happy right now. Rosemary is coming here for the weekend, work is buzzing along (I start my sessions at ESPN.com this week), summer is on the way, and I feel more surrounded by friends than I have in quite some time - whether they're near or far.
I spent the morning and afternoon with varouna, who was in town visiting her mom. we watched TV and talked at my place, then got lunch at a new Thai place in Southington. (There's a Thai place in Southington?) Also, I got to treat Chantal to her first-ever water ice - despite her years in Philadelphia, she'd never gone to a Rita's Water Ice. So there we were, sitting on a bench next to the Rita's, sucking down cherry regulars like two 15-year-olds on a date. We also went to Fables comic book store, and I showed Chantal some of the stores and restaurants down by the main green in town.
After hanging with Chantal and seeing her mom again, I got myself ready to hit the road for Highland Park, NJ to attend my friend Danielle's graduation party. She's getting her doctorate in biomedical engineering and has begun work at Johnson & Johnson.
This was a big night for me in a number of ways. Danielle and I had a lot of catching up to do, and a friendship to rescue. Danielle and I have known each other since high school when we did theater together, and she dated my best friend in junior and senior years. That relationship ended shortly after we all started college, but I stayed friends with both. (The funny thing is that she and I talked more and probably were closer friends than she was with him. That definitely was the case for her friend that she set me up with in senior year.)
But as college went on, we grew busier and busier, and this friend I was very close with began to drift away. Didn't see each other, didn't hear from each other. I tried my hardest, but it got hard to keep calling when no one would answer. (I probably heard from her about 10 times in the last eight years - not quite what you expect) And as she withdrew, each time we did talk, I'd be walked through one major life change after another - the biggest one being that she went from dating men to seeing a woman.
I had to question: Do I really know her anymore? How would I fit into her life, when I didn't even know what it was? And so we talked it out a few months ago, that we had to reconnect. And now I would be walking into her girlfriend Tanya's home, into a party full of people I don't know, to hang with someone I had to get to know again. While I usually do fine in those kind of situations, it's still not an easy task. Plus, how much time would I have to really catch up with Danielle the way we needed to?
Any concerns began to melt away the second Danielle saw me and jumped into my arms. They melted away more as I met other people at the party and we got the talking and joking. And it all really began to melt away as Danielle's girlfriend broke out the liquers from Cyprus, her sword collection, and the vampire porn. A much-needed wild night out where I could get happily drunk since I was staying the night. Danielle and I got to catch up for real as the guests left, and we cleaned and sobered up. A reckoning was had, a friendship truly alive again for the first time in years - and we found out that our close friendship was stretched but never broken.
And how wonderful is technology, to sit around the laptop with Danielle and Tanya the next morning, and show them my life in pictures over the last three years, and with the woman who has made them so worthwhile. Rosemary, they think you're cute! Tanya's a hockey fan (she's Canadian, so duh), and she really wants to see ESPN, so we're working on them visiting. Two weekends in a row of high school reunions, but this was the more meaningful one to me.
On the drive back to Bristol on Sunday, I called my mom, Rosemary's mom, called a bunch of other moms I know. And I spent Mother's Day the best day I know how - meeting a co-worker for a business dinner at Outback Steakhouse. We never work the same shift any more, and we get along great, so it was nice to sit and talk with him after not seeing each other for a couple of months.
Anyway, I'm really happy right now. Rosemary is coming here for the weekend, work is buzzing along (I start my sessions at ESPN.com this week), summer is on the way, and I feel more surrounded by friends than I have in quite some time - whether they're near or far.