life
Its really funny how life works...how much you can change...when you never ever thought it would of been possible...you were lost for all eternity...life was nothing....and now...u live for the day...wake up just to be awake and see the sun! the sun! something i did miss dearly! never actually ever took a look at the beauty in the day before this...now i see all of mother nature and am grateful for it.
Its funny when what you thought was your everything...can change...and although u lost something very dear which seemed like it would end your world...it turns out to be the best thing that ever could of happened to you. Being independent, Truly, for the first time in life...and loving it! meeting new people( although some turn out to be insane SHOCKERS). Doing and feeling ways you never thought u would and being able to feel and embrace those feelings.
One thing i really am looking forward to is traveling and seeing a really good friend in a far off place! I make it something to shoot for...to see him and see what actually could happen...or be. I have to know. its crazy! I havent felt a feeling like this in sooo long! i missed it...and knowing u can feel for another again, and knowing it could be possible. I thought my heart was stone...turned cold to everything and everyone...and this person brings it to life! so it shines bright from these feelings. just by his eyes! i can swim in! and know and see his feelings. how he can make me smile even in the worst of times just by a simple action or word or look *blushes*
I need to see and know!
Its funny how family can change...when you are still the same person...i am like fine delicate china....and one wobble or rock of the table...will send me spinning down to the ground and SHATTER into a million of pieces! of course i know that could not happen...for i am becoming a better version of myself and i wouldnt want to break now. how they can't see how i am really changing...just remembering the past...i wish i could erase it completely and just move on...but knowing its there like a dark cloud lurking over my shoulder...and it may not be me who needs help on forgetting it and move on.
So this is life. and how different it can be from what you thought your life was...how it changes, with new moments...good and bad...but you still appreciate the bad because u can feel the pain and know you are alive..and be happy for it! Its different trying to really love yourself and who you are...instead of wanting to destroy. its different how u can love to be alive when all you thought was death.
Its funny when what you thought was your everything...can change...and although u lost something very dear which seemed like it would end your world...it turns out to be the best thing that ever could of happened to you. Being independent, Truly, for the first time in life...and loving it! meeting new people( although some turn out to be insane SHOCKERS). Doing and feeling ways you never thought u would and being able to feel and embrace those feelings.
One thing i really am looking forward to is traveling and seeing a really good friend in a far off place! I make it something to shoot for...to see him and see what actually could happen...or be. I have to know. its crazy! I havent felt a feeling like this in sooo long! i missed it...and knowing u can feel for another again, and knowing it could be possible. I thought my heart was stone...turned cold to everything and everyone...and this person brings it to life! so it shines bright from these feelings. just by his eyes! i can swim in! and know and see his feelings. how he can make me smile even in the worst of times just by a simple action or word or look *blushes*
I need to see and know!
Its funny how family can change...when you are still the same person...i am like fine delicate china....and one wobble or rock of the table...will send me spinning down to the ground and SHATTER into a million of pieces! of course i know that could not happen...for i am becoming a better version of myself and i wouldnt want to break now. how they can't see how i am really changing...just remembering the past...i wish i could erase it completely and just move on...but knowing its there like a dark cloud lurking over my shoulder...and it may not be me who needs help on forgetting it and move on.
So this is life. and how different it can be from what you thought your life was...how it changes, with new moments...good and bad...but you still appreciate the bad because u can feel the pain and know you are alive..and be happy for it! Its different trying to really love yourself and who you are...instead of wanting to destroy. its different how u can love to be alive when all you thought was death.