I have not been privy to every communication here, obviously. FWIW, in what I have seen on LJ (and for good or ill I have been kind of obsessive about following it), and a couple of private exchanges with C, I have not seen C (or anyone else) attempt to shift the blame for the attack to anyone other than C.
I cannot speak for others, but for myself I have been trying to provide support for a friend who has done something completely unacceptable that isn't the whole of who she is, and who seems to need encouragement to keep trying.
And in the comments I have been reading, I haven't seen anyone say "what you did was no big deal" or "no, you don't have a problem" or anything along those lines.
And I will point out that at least one post was filled with comments encouraging her to get help working through her emotional issues.
"I hope this all gets resolved soon" I read as "I hope you find a place to live; I hope the uncertain consequences become certain ones you can start dealing with; I hope you find out how the Order of Protection and Non Contact orders can be adjusted by mutual consent so you can visit the kids as long as it's okay with N."
Obviously I can't guarantee how others are reading those remarks; this is one of the shortcomings of text-based communication.
But I get the impression you are reacting to things I haven't seen, and I have no idea what useful comments I can make, except that, not having seen them myself, I can't edify you, or C., or anyone else by commenting on them.
I understand why you are worried and upset. I am worried too, and thinking about this more than is good for me or helps anyone else.
The other thing that might help is to point out that it is (sadly) normal for two people who have ended a relationship to speak ill of each other. There are a few who don't (and I respect them very much, not least because they are so unusual), but it's *really* common. I have been bearing that in mind as I read.
Many thanks for your reading of "I hope this all gets resolved soon" -- one of the reasons I post things like this is so that my friends can point out things that I missed. I've edited the post accordingly.
"I am worried too, and thinking about this more than is good for me or helps anyone else."
I cannot speak for others, but for myself I have been trying to provide support for a friend who has done something completely unacceptable that isn't the whole of who she is, and who seems to need encouragement to keep trying.
And in the comments I have been reading, I haven't seen anyone say "what you did was no big deal" or "no, you don't have a problem" or anything along those lines.
And I will point out that at least one post was filled with comments encouraging her to get help working through her emotional issues.
"I hope this all gets resolved soon" I read as "I hope you find a place to live; I hope the uncertain consequences become certain ones you can start dealing with; I hope you find out how the Order of Protection and Non Contact orders can be adjusted by mutual consent so you can visit the kids as long as it's okay with N."
Obviously I can't guarantee how others are reading those remarks; this is one of the shortcomings of text-based communication.
But I get the impression you are reacting to things I haven't seen, and I have no idea what useful comments I can make, except that, not having seen them myself, I can't edify you, or C., or anyone else by commenting on them.
I understand why you are worried and upset. I am worried too, and thinking about this more than is good for me or helps anyone else.
The other thing that might help is to point out that it is (sadly) normal for two people who have ended a relationship to speak ill of each other. There are a few who don't (and I respect them very much, not least because they are so unusual), but it's *really* common. I have been bearing that in mind as I read.
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"I am worried too, and thinking about this more than is good for me or helps anyone else."
Amen to that!
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