nowiunderstandyoujustwannausemeyouyousaylovethenabusemeyouneverthoughtyou'dloseme
my feelings are still so fucking hurt and i cant just get the hell over it!! i want to get over it. I want to go back and not give him the time of day. I want to not trust him. I want to tell the old me to think about it first. I wish this never happened. I wish he was sorry and I wish I could get over it. Damn do i wish he was sorry. Who am I kidding? Him being sorry at this point would make absolutely no difference. He fucked up so royally and I cant remember the last time i felt this sad and had to mask it. I mask it so well now because Im embarrassed that i cried about it. Fuck it he wins! He wins so now cani get back to normal? How can one other person. just a person just like me with flesh and blood and thats it make me feel this way? AND I DONT EVEN LOVE HIM! thats what trips me out the most. I have too much pride to just let it go and be friends with him again. He doesn't deserve my friendship or even my acquaintence. He doesnt deserve to know my name or ever kiss me or hug me or anything ever again. I never knew it would end this badly. Everyone told me it would but somehow someway i thought this was different. I thought he was different. I thought I was different. I thought we were different. We're different alright and no matter what..... we will never ever ever be the same.