(no subject)
I've been around. I took the long road; the long hindered, foggy, blantantly long, lonely, laiden with refuse, smokey, naive, broken, battered, learning road.
Oh God! Thank you for friendship. It is a light I had never really noticed or seen before. Yowza. Challenging friends - that is where it is at.
I have to thank my parents once again. They love me way too much. They do way too much for me.
I want to be in med-school so badly right now. I don't think I have what it takes. Someone needs to kick me in the ass and tell me what is up. :(
I miss the piano. I need a regiment. I need a regimental regiment.
Story time:
What is it that I am running towards? There is something scary that everyone seems to face but writes off as necessary to the delivery of happiness. I'm talking about marriage of course. Most people listen to everything in the bible and take/interpret it as necessary and do-able for a human except one thing of course (well more then one, but I will address only one here). Paul encourages his readers to remain single and lead a life of singleness with devotion and care to the one and only that matters. I don't even know if it is possible. The idea seems simple enough, but the follow through seems infinitely more complex. Waiver for just a moment in the beginning and you are done for. I assume that a routine is your best ally and greatest enemy while being single. One can routinely think about being single and focus on the activities that need to get done that fill the time and space that would be taken up by another individual; but in the end, that routineness in focus will only compound the difficulty of spending your energy to one single end. Does anyone know a friend that has been/is devoted to such a life? I don't think I can name one. Why does no one listen to this advice anymore? (Side note: I do not include priests in this group. They are religiously separated under human law. Long story, I could talk with you more about it if you wanted) I don't want to rush down that road towards marriage. It really scares me. Maybe someday I'll land a job in the hands of a mentor that can lead me to such an end as singleness. It would take the devotion of another individual to attain such a lifestyle.
Sigh.
I think it might come easier in a little bit. Still kind of fuzzy. Kinks and such.
Crabcakes and lovewagons.
~Matty
Oh God! Thank you for friendship. It is a light I had never really noticed or seen before. Yowza. Challenging friends - that is where it is at.
I have to thank my parents once again. They love me way too much. They do way too much for me.
I want to be in med-school so badly right now. I don't think I have what it takes. Someone needs to kick me in the ass and tell me what is up. :(
I miss the piano. I need a regiment. I need a regimental regiment.
Story time:
What is it that I am running towards? There is something scary that everyone seems to face but writes off as necessary to the delivery of happiness. I'm talking about marriage of course. Most people listen to everything in the bible and take/interpret it as necessary and do-able for a human except one thing of course (well more then one, but I will address only one here). Paul encourages his readers to remain single and lead a life of singleness with devotion and care to the one and only that matters. I don't even know if it is possible. The idea seems simple enough, but the follow through seems infinitely more complex. Waiver for just a moment in the beginning and you are done for. I assume that a routine is your best ally and greatest enemy while being single. One can routinely think about being single and focus on the activities that need to get done that fill the time and space that would be taken up by another individual; but in the end, that routineness in focus will only compound the difficulty of spending your energy to one single end. Does anyone know a friend that has been/is devoted to such a life? I don't think I can name one. Why does no one listen to this advice anymore? (Side note: I do not include priests in this group. They are religiously separated under human law. Long story, I could talk with you more about it if you wanted) I don't want to rush down that road towards marriage. It really scares me. Maybe someday I'll land a job in the hands of a mentor that can lead me to such an end as singleness. It would take the devotion of another individual to attain such a lifestyle.
Sigh.
I think it might come easier in a little bit. Still kind of fuzzy. Kinks and such.
Crabcakes and lovewagons.
~Matty