Repression
Title: Repression
Author: md123
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Rating: PG
Word Count: 624
Spoilers: Not Really
Summary: Liz is marrying Criss.
Jack is going to give Liz away at her wedding. Dick Lemon passed away only a few months ago. Jack doesn't much remember the pain that Lemon felt when it happened; instead, he remembers his own pain, when it was clear she was getting her comfort from Criss instead of him.
The pain surprised him at the time. Jack very much needs Liz for his emotional support; he has for years. It's not like Avery was someone he would dare have shown weakness to. It used to be that he offered that same support to Lemon.
But Liz still needs support from him now, and now that she's all dressed it's his job to take her into the church. With his palate sated by a constant parade of models and perfect 10s, he's always been able to evaluate Liz's appearance with clinical detachment. Now, though, she looks radiant. Beautiful. Stunning, in a way that transcends his critical eye.
He warmly embraces her, then withdraws and runs his knuckles over her cheek. She smiles at him in a way that makes his heart flutter a little. It's unconditional love in her eyes, and for him. She's probably the only woman that has ever looked at him like that, though he reminds himself both what that means and what it doesn't mean.
He feels just a bit intoxicated by it all. "Did you ever think this day would come?"
"I had my doubts."
"You know, after that one night we had, I wondered if things might have turned out differently."
She looks at him quizzically. "Say what now?"
"The night we made out?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Three years ago? After we signed the Dealbreakers contract, we got a little drunk..."
She's looking at him as if to say "this is a bad time to play a practical joke."
"... and started to make out in your apartment? While we were rounding second base you freaked out, kicked me out, said we should never speak of it again?" He paused. "Do you not remember this at all?"
She's staring at him in utter confusion. He reads on her face a deeply repressed memory bubbling up to the surface. Her slaps her hand over her mouth in shock.
He's incredulous himself. "You mean I've been carrying this around all this time and you had no idea?"
The scenes rush back at Liz as if she's having a flashback: Jack, half drunk on scotch, explaining why he wanted her, not Padma Lakshmi; the warm feeling that came over her, the sudden liplock, roving hands, fasteners undone. Then a sudden mood shift, and some word vomit that had been very insulting to Jack and his general suitability as a mate.
"Oh, Jack, I'm so sorry."
He lowers his eyes and nods. A lot of his standoffishness over the ensuing months makes a lot more sense now. "We should probably head out there, Elizabeth."
She is still piecing together the evening. "Wait, did you mean what you said that night?"
She is very much not in the state of mind she is supposed to be in right now.
Jack is by the door now, and looks down and then away. He seems ticked off, almost.
"Yeah."
Her heart breaks for him. Jack had confessed a lot that night, and he'd gone for years afterward thinking Liz had brushed it aside without consideration.
"Criss is waiting." Jack seems like he is in a hurry. He shut this door a long time ago, and fears reopening it.
She gathers up her dress and goes to him. The door opens, she steps through and turns to him.
"Jack? About what you said that night?"
"Yes Lemon?"
She swallows hard. "Me too."
He gives her a melancholy smile and offers her his arm.
END