What About Pawnee?
Title: What about Pawnee?
Author: md123
Pairing: Liz/Leslie, Liz/Ron, Pete/Liz
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,485
Summary: A 30 Rock/Parks and Recreation crossover. Jack Donaghy sends Liz Lemon and Pete Hornberger to scout for a small town to do a special episode of TGS. Their search takes them to Pawnee, Indiana.
Note: And now for something completely different...
Leslie Knope was really excited.
Her town had a chance to be shown off to the entire nation. If they made a good impression to these television people from New York, Pawnee would be the site of a live broadcast on prime time TV.
And not just any show, but TGS with Tracy Jordan. Leslie preferred the original incarnation, The Girlie Show, which had more of a female voice. She wasn't the type to try hard to catch every episode of a TV show, especially of a non-documentary, but she still considered herself a fan.
And to top it off, she recognized one of the names: Liz Lemon, who wrote the book Dealbreakers. It had been a fun read, a diverting break from Leslie's usual fare, and a relatable one at that.
So she got to show off her town to someone she respected. A good day.
**
"Pete, what's this next town called, again?"
"Pawnee." Pete was driving them over from Eagleton, which had been nicer than most other towns, but still a huge bust. Jack had gotten it into his head that TGS needed to do a show in "real America" as a sweeps stunt, and had sent Pete and Liz into the armpit of Indiana to find a suitable spot. The endless cornfields were starting to numb their brains, but thankfully they could go back to New York after this. Or at least for a few days, when Jack would send them to some other flyover state because they couldn't find anything adequate in Indiana.
Liz fumbled with the map. "Oh, here we go." She looked closely. "City Hall should be coming up on the... left."
Pete looked up ahead. "There. That's gotta be it." He gestured at the magnificent domed building.
"OK. Let's see what this group of cornpones can offer us."
**
No one in the office seemed to acknowledge the visitors' presence. So much for small town friendliness.
"I'm looking for Leslie Knope?"
"Hi, you must be Liz Lemon," a blonde woman called out as she exited an office. She offered her hand. "Ms. Lemon, I'm a big fan of your work."
"Thank you." Liz smiled. She didn't hear that very often. "This is Pete Hornberger, our producer."
Leslie nodded in acknowledgment to Pete. She pulled out a gigantic binder from behind the counter. "So I've prepared this summary of our town's history and why it would be a great place for you to stage your show. We can spend a couple of hours going through it now, or if you like you can just look at it in your hotel rooms tonight."
Liz and Pete looked at each other nervously before Liz answered. "Uh.. actually, we're going to have to fly out tomorrow afternoon, so I think we'd like to just look at the venues, find out which ones would work logistically." She took the binder with absolutely no intention of reading it.
**
It was long day in the car with Leslie. The many gymnasiums, auditoriums, and public parks started to blur together in Liz's mind. A few would be workable locations, but no better than a hundred others she'd seen on this trip. And the people here were frighteningly obese. She'd heard it was worse when you got off the coasts, and she had no right to rip people for their eating habits, but this was ridiculous.
Worst of all was listening to Leslie blab on and on about Pawnee. She was clearly proud of her town, but Liz and Pete honestly couldn't care less about their pioneer history. They were sure the people here were very nice, but it was no New York City. Damn Jack and his "real America" schtick. Liz fantasized about opening the car door, rolling out, and making a run for it. But that wouldn't be fair to Pete.
Well, maybe if the car slowed down a little bit.
So it was with relief that Leslie had to return to city hall for a 4pm meeting.
"So this meeting will take about half an hour, and then I can take you out to the places on the West side of town!" Leslie offered with a perky smile.
"You know, actually, is there a conference room where Pete and I can sit down and go through our notes? We have a lot of stuff to process."
"Of course!" Leslie took them to a conference room with some sort of waterfowl theme. Rednecks.
When Leslie left, Liz and Pete shared and exasperated sigh and chuckle.
"Can you believe this place?" he asked.
"Yeah, can you believe her?"
"What, Susie Sunshine over there?"
Liz imitated Leslie in a robotic nerd voice. "Let me tell you all about the history of high fructose corn syrup."
They both laughed, then noticed an unfriendly-looking dark-haired girl glaring at them through the glass. Pete got up and shut the door.
"So what do you think, Pete?"
"I don't know, seems like every other town we've been to."
"What's the best location here you think we've seen?"
Liz didn’t actually think they would pick this town, but it was the only thing to talk about. They started flipping through the binder and making fun of the town's fairly appaling history.
**
Ron Swanson came back from his meeting with Chris grumpy, because meetings always made him grumpy. Through the window, he glimpsed a striking brunette in the conference room. For an instant, he’d mistaken her for Tammy II.
"Who are they?" he asked April.
"Some people from New York. They're thinking about filming a TV show here."
Ron glanced at the camera. “Another documentary?”
“No, some variety show.”
“Hmmm. Who are they meeting with?”
“Not you.”
“Good.”
Just then, the brunette came out of the conference room. She seemed able and assertive, and picked April at random as the one to address.
“Umm... Pete and I think we’ve actually seen enough to make a decision. So can you thank Leslie for her time and tell her we won’t be needing to continue the tour this evening?”
April pretended to write it down. “Sure thing.”
“Oh, and can you recommend a place to eat around here? We’re starving.”
April shrugged. Liz looked around helplessly.
“Does anyone...”
“Do you like steak?” Ron asked in a commanding voice.
“Yes I do.” she answered with authority, eyes flaring with enthusiasm.
“There's what I call the turf and turf at Callahan’s. It’s a 16oz T-Bone with a 24oz Porterhouse.”
Liz’s face turned serious. “I want to go to there. Where is it?”
“I was headed over there now. I’ll take you.”
“Let me get my things. Pete?”
"You know, I'm pretty tired. I think I'll go back to the hotel, call Paula, and go to sleep early."
“Suit yourself!”
**
Leslie came in early the next morning, as always. She was still on a bit of a high from her chance to show off the town the day before. They didn't seem extremely excited during the tour, but she was sure that after they reviewed all the information that they'd pick Pawnee.
She was usually the first one in, but in the corner of her eye she saw some motion in Ron's office.
She could tell Ron was standing in front of his desk. Someone was seated on its edge, facing him, and had her arms wrapped around him. They appeared to be making out.
Leslie, in a state of shock, made a show of “accidentally” dropping her binder as loudly as possible. It got the job done, and the two walked out a moment later, Liz wiping her mouth with her sleeve.
Ron was dressed in a red Nike shirt and some black pants, much like Tiger Woods.
“Leslie! I was, uh, just meeting with Miss Lemon here.”
“I see.”
“Yes, Mister Swanson. Thank you for that... information about the... parks. That will help us with our decision.” It was a thoroughly transparent charade.
“We will be in touch with you soon.”
As she walked out, Ron watched her leave with a blank expression, and wordlessly return to his office.
As Liz waited outside City Hall for Pete to pick her up and drive to the airport, She called Jack. “Hey, Jack, I think we’ve found our town.”
She listened to his response. “Yeah, Pawnee, Indiana. A slice of middle America, just like you wanted.”
“No, we didn’t find a hippie commune here,” she answered with irritation. “You’ll like it.”
**
The interviewer managed to stop Liz before she got in the car with Pete.
"I don't know, we went to dinner and..." she looked for the phrase, "hit it off."
She looked to see if that answer would satisfy him. It didn't.
"We have some things in common, and he's an interesting and funny guy. He's kind of crazy but... he sort of reminds me of someone."
**
Ron chatted with the interviewer, as he is often forced to do. "Liz is an extraordinary woman. She’s attractive, accomplished. She knows her way around a steak. And I’m partial to brunettes.”
There was a question off camera.
“What’s that? No, she's in New York. I'm sure it's not going to work out.”
Just then, April barged in: "That Pete Hornberger guy just called you. Says they're going to do the show in Pawnee.”
Ron couldn't quite manage to stifle his smile in front of the camera.
END.
Author: md123
Pairing: Liz/Leslie, Liz/Ron, Pete/Liz
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,485
Summary: A 30 Rock/Parks and Recreation crossover. Jack Donaghy sends Liz Lemon and Pete Hornberger to scout for a small town to do a special episode of TGS. Their search takes them to Pawnee, Indiana.
Note: And now for something completely different...
Leslie Knope was really excited.
Her town had a chance to be shown off to the entire nation. If they made a good impression to these television people from New York, Pawnee would be the site of a live broadcast on prime time TV.
And not just any show, but TGS with Tracy Jordan. Leslie preferred the original incarnation, The Girlie Show, which had more of a female voice. She wasn't the type to try hard to catch every episode of a TV show, especially of a non-documentary, but she still considered herself a fan.
And to top it off, she recognized one of the names: Liz Lemon, who wrote the book Dealbreakers. It had been a fun read, a diverting break from Leslie's usual fare, and a relatable one at that.
So she got to show off her town to someone she respected. A good day.
**
"Pete, what's this next town called, again?"
"Pawnee." Pete was driving them over from Eagleton, which had been nicer than most other towns, but still a huge bust. Jack had gotten it into his head that TGS needed to do a show in "real America" as a sweeps stunt, and had sent Pete and Liz into the armpit of Indiana to find a suitable spot. The endless cornfields were starting to numb their brains, but thankfully they could go back to New York after this. Or at least for a few days, when Jack would send them to some other flyover state because they couldn't find anything adequate in Indiana.
Liz fumbled with the map. "Oh, here we go." She looked closely. "City Hall should be coming up on the... left."
Pete looked up ahead. "There. That's gotta be it." He gestured at the magnificent domed building.
"OK. Let's see what this group of cornpones can offer us."
**
No one in the office seemed to acknowledge the visitors' presence. So much for small town friendliness.
"I'm looking for Leslie Knope?"
"Hi, you must be Liz Lemon," a blonde woman called out as she exited an office. She offered her hand. "Ms. Lemon, I'm a big fan of your work."
"Thank you." Liz smiled. She didn't hear that very often. "This is Pete Hornberger, our producer."
Leslie nodded in acknowledgment to Pete. She pulled out a gigantic binder from behind the counter. "So I've prepared this summary of our town's history and why it would be a great place for you to stage your show. We can spend a couple of hours going through it now, or if you like you can just look at it in your hotel rooms tonight."
Liz and Pete looked at each other nervously before Liz answered. "Uh.. actually, we're going to have to fly out tomorrow afternoon, so I think we'd like to just look at the venues, find out which ones would work logistically." She took the binder with absolutely no intention of reading it.
**
It was long day in the car with Leslie. The many gymnasiums, auditoriums, and public parks started to blur together in Liz's mind. A few would be workable locations, but no better than a hundred others she'd seen on this trip. And the people here were frighteningly obese. She'd heard it was worse when you got off the coasts, and she had no right to rip people for their eating habits, but this was ridiculous.
Worst of all was listening to Leslie blab on and on about Pawnee. She was clearly proud of her town, but Liz and Pete honestly couldn't care less about their pioneer history. They were sure the people here were very nice, but it was no New York City. Damn Jack and his "real America" schtick. Liz fantasized about opening the car door, rolling out, and making a run for it. But that wouldn't be fair to Pete.
Well, maybe if the car slowed down a little bit.
So it was with relief that Leslie had to return to city hall for a 4pm meeting.
"So this meeting will take about half an hour, and then I can take you out to the places on the West side of town!" Leslie offered with a perky smile.
"You know, actually, is there a conference room where Pete and I can sit down and go through our notes? We have a lot of stuff to process."
"Of course!" Leslie took them to a conference room with some sort of waterfowl theme. Rednecks.
When Leslie left, Liz and Pete shared and exasperated sigh and chuckle.
"Can you believe this place?" he asked.
"Yeah, can you believe her?"
"What, Susie Sunshine over there?"
Liz imitated Leslie in a robotic nerd voice. "Let me tell you all about the history of high fructose corn syrup."
They both laughed, then noticed an unfriendly-looking dark-haired girl glaring at them through the glass. Pete got up and shut the door.
"So what do you think, Pete?"
"I don't know, seems like every other town we've been to."
"What's the best location here you think we've seen?"
Liz didn’t actually think they would pick this town, but it was the only thing to talk about. They started flipping through the binder and making fun of the town's fairly appaling history.
**
Ron Swanson came back from his meeting with Chris grumpy, because meetings always made him grumpy. Through the window, he glimpsed a striking brunette in the conference room. For an instant, he’d mistaken her for Tammy II.
"Who are they?" he asked April.
"Some people from New York. They're thinking about filming a TV show here."
Ron glanced at the camera. “Another documentary?”
“No, some variety show.”
“Hmmm. Who are they meeting with?”
“Not you.”
“Good.”
Just then, the brunette came out of the conference room. She seemed able and assertive, and picked April at random as the one to address.
“Umm... Pete and I think we’ve actually seen enough to make a decision. So can you thank Leslie for her time and tell her we won’t be needing to continue the tour this evening?”
April pretended to write it down. “Sure thing.”
“Oh, and can you recommend a place to eat around here? We’re starving.”
April shrugged. Liz looked around helplessly.
“Does anyone...”
“Do you like steak?” Ron asked in a commanding voice.
“Yes I do.” she answered with authority, eyes flaring with enthusiasm.
“There's what I call the turf and turf at Callahan’s. It’s a 16oz T-Bone with a 24oz Porterhouse.”
Liz’s face turned serious. “I want to go to there. Where is it?”
“I was headed over there now. I’ll take you.”
“Let me get my things. Pete?”
"You know, I'm pretty tired. I think I'll go back to the hotel, call Paula, and go to sleep early."
“Suit yourself!”
**
Leslie came in early the next morning, as always. She was still on a bit of a high from her chance to show off the town the day before. They didn't seem extremely excited during the tour, but she was sure that after they reviewed all the information that they'd pick Pawnee.
She was usually the first one in, but in the corner of her eye she saw some motion in Ron's office.
She could tell Ron was standing in front of his desk. Someone was seated on its edge, facing him, and had her arms wrapped around him. They appeared to be making out.
Leslie, in a state of shock, made a show of “accidentally” dropping her binder as loudly as possible. It got the job done, and the two walked out a moment later, Liz wiping her mouth with her sleeve.
Ron was dressed in a red Nike shirt and some black pants, much like Tiger Woods.
“Leslie! I was, uh, just meeting with Miss Lemon here.”
“I see.”
“Yes, Mister Swanson. Thank you for that... information about the... parks. That will help us with our decision.” It was a thoroughly transparent charade.
“We will be in touch with you soon.”
As she walked out, Ron watched her leave with a blank expression, and wordlessly return to his office.
As Liz waited outside City Hall for Pete to pick her up and drive to the airport, She called Jack. “Hey, Jack, I think we’ve found our town.”
She listened to his response. “Yeah, Pawnee, Indiana. A slice of middle America, just like you wanted.”
“No, we didn’t find a hippie commune here,” she answered with irritation. “You’ll like it.”
**
The interviewer managed to stop Liz before she got in the car with Pete.
"I don't know, we went to dinner and..." she looked for the phrase, "hit it off."
She looked to see if that answer would satisfy him. It didn't.
"We have some things in common, and he's an interesting and funny guy. He's kind of crazy but... he sort of reminds me of someone."
**
Ron chatted with the interviewer, as he is often forced to do. "Liz is an extraordinary woman. She’s attractive, accomplished. She knows her way around a steak. And I’m partial to brunettes.”
There was a question off camera.
“What’s that? No, she's in New York. I'm sure it's not going to work out.”
Just then, April barged in: "That Pete Hornberger guy just called you. Says they're going to do the show in Pawnee.”
Ron couldn't quite manage to stifle his smile in front of the camera.
END.