If You're Taking Me Somewhere Where I Don't Need A Boa, Then I Don't Think I Want To Go.
I take a Motion Picture/Television Production class on Saturdays and this week we had to group up to short stories, and with my luck the only kid in the class who likes me (possibly because he's perpetually between various stages of being hung over and still drunk) was absent- probably dead- and so I got paired up with Laura the Lesbian. For some reason she felt a little field trip to Circuit City to buy some cords for her Zume would be a great little boost for our brainstorming, but I did not object. We listened to her lesbian propaganda techno music the entire way and when I tried to turn on "Boogie Shoes" by KC and the Sunshine Band she just about put her cigarette out on my arm, so, you know, I hate her. On the way home she had the heat on so high in her crappy minivan that I felt like I was suffocating and it was making my stomach hurt, but I didn't want to say anything lest I seem rude. But then I threw up. Speaking of lesbians:
WHAT THE- Why do you hate me?
When I left class I got a little surprise gift from Mr. Jesus that was my car completely frozen over as an immediate result of ice rain, like up North. And by North I assume you all know I mean Svalbard, comme The Golden Compass. Jacky and I went to the show Saturday night and I loved it, even though he kept comparing it to a porno with occasional lude hand motions. His description of the ending is borderline fantastic though (SPOILERZ): "The kids fell asleep and cuddled with each other. Then, the movie stopped and left the audience guessing at what those two scoundrels were doing."
Sunday was relatively boring. I opted out of church in the AM and when I went to Taco Bell for lunch, my total was $6.66. I'm on Lucifer's radar (on his radar), but what's new? Then at the tennis club a lady asked me where the locker rooms were and when I told her "over there and to the left" (to accompany my pointing, I'm not a barbarian) she asked if I meant up the stairs, which I assume is the only option other than a brick wall. I wanted so badly to respond "No, bitch, tap the bricks- It's Diagon Alley!!" Self control at its finest. Then I wrote an English paper I'm quite proud of, with a Tila Tequila shout out in the first sentence, a Tyra Banks shout out in the second sentence, the phrase "once you go black, you never go back" before page three, and mentions of fellatio and Lee Pace. And that's what's going on with that.
WHAT THE- Why do you hate me?
When I left class I got a little surprise gift from Mr. Jesus that was my car completely frozen over as an immediate result of ice rain, like up North. And by North I assume you all know I mean Svalbard, comme The Golden Compass. Jacky and I went to the show Saturday night and I loved it, even though he kept comparing it to a porno with occasional lude hand motions. His description of the ending is borderline fantastic though (SPOILERZ): "The kids fell asleep and cuddled with each other. Then, the movie stopped and left the audience guessing at what those two scoundrels were doing."
Sunday was relatively boring. I opted out of church in the AM and when I went to Taco Bell for lunch, my total was $6.66. I'm on Lucifer's radar (on his radar), but what's new? Then at the tennis club a lady asked me where the locker rooms were and when I told her "over there and to the left" (to accompany my pointing, I'm not a barbarian) she asked if I meant up the stairs, which I assume is the only option other than a brick wall. I wanted so badly to respond "No, bitch, tap the bricks- It's Diagon Alley!!" Self control at its finest. Then I wrote an English paper I'm quite proud of, with a Tila Tequila shout out in the first sentence, a Tyra Banks shout out in the second sentence, the phrase "once you go black, you never go back" before page three, and mentions of fellatio and Lee Pace. And that's what's going on with that.