So Much Effed Up Crap Happens In Florida

[mcyummy]

I have legit reasons for being late with my Veronica Mars recap. First, I had the joy of finding out you can burn out a computer monitor. I've left mine on for the past ever and now it's busted. I stole the monitor from my brother's old computer, so now it's super ghetto. I feel kind of thuggy when I use it. It's awesome. Then, when I finally got it working I was too sore to post it. On Friday morning we had the annual Turkey Bowl (which is a football tourney through school). We won our first game easy, but out second game was against the varsity football team. They were pretty pissed off when we kept up with them the whole game, but in the end we lost by a touchdown. I'm not going down as a complainer, but we did have a pretty crappy/decisive call in the last few minutes of the game (I caught it off my knee and the ref/my physics teacher with a MySpace pedophile haircut called it off the ground. At the end of the game he came up to me and told me he knew I caught it but he had to stick with his call). Barnesie and I were the bigger kids on our team so we played line, and having to knock skulls with walls of muscle wears you out and hurts a lot. That night we went to see Borat, which was super funny. It's just so awkward and nekkid and gross, but you can't help laughing at how stupid people come off. After the movie we spent and hour trying to track down booze and ended up doing Frisbee with TGIF mudslide and scotch-whiskey that smelled like a Christmas tree. There was definite puking. I meant to finally post it earlier today, but my aversion to dance parties forced me out of my house.


The Good

I liked that the feminists set up a fake rape. Why? Because it got rid of Claire. Now we just have to get rid of overacting Nish and we're ace. I laughed with glee when the Dean yelled at her, and I think that she might be the one who is faking (again) the rapist in the parking garage to get back at Veronica.

HARMONY!! I'm all for Keith getting some, and even though homegirl is looking rough these days, I like her. I'll keep her around, that cheatin' ho.

Mercer is kinda funny. Which surprises me, because the actor that plays him makes me cringe on E! News, or whatever he is on. "You're gonna go to hell." And you probably are too, my friend. But the down and durty clubbiest show must go on. Here's the part that confuses me: Veronica definitely didn't introduce Parker to him, but when they left he told her goodbye using her name. Unless I missed something.

Veronica is so weird sometime with that "Eye of the Tiger" stuff, but it always makes me laugh.

"The Hair" is kind of an awkward human sometimes, but I actually like her. "YAHOOO! THAT'S TWO THIRDS OF A TURKEY, BITCHES!!!" is basically me at a bowling alley, for cereals. I just wish she had better judgment than to go for Piz (see "The Bad").

Those elevator doors at the Neptune Grand stay open a damn long time. But I liked when Veronica yelled out Rory Finch and he turned around and she got crushed. In fact, I liked how that whole mystery fit together. The whole "the bad guy being who you thought it was but then didn't think it was" aspect.

Maybe I'm weird, but I liked the random anti-climatic car crash. I thought the other guy was drunk and then I though Keith was drunk and then there was humping and I really didn't know what to think except that I was uncomfortable.

Mindy Wife Landry = OTHP and Rattner stole a shitload of shampoo.

The Bad

Timmy Foyle is a jumbo creep and nobody ordered that. Plus, who wants to be someone else's bitch?

University Savior TurnItIn.com blows. I always forget to turn my papers in by the deadline and so I always get points off. I've never got pegged for plagiarism, though I probably should have on some occasions.

Piz is my arch nemesis and the harder he tries to act silly and sweet makes me want to punch him in the stomach even more. He totally spazzed out at the bowling alley and turned down The Hair. Two strikes, bitch. I don't play by baseball rules. Ya, I did.

I also hate Mason (Wallace's basketball buddy), Jeff Rattner (who's head Veronica should have exploded with her mind), the Mechanical Engineering teacher (who sounds like my physics teacher except with better hair) and the basketball coach looks constipated.

The rape mystery is sketchy. I don't like the random "I KNOW THAT COLOGNE!!!" and how quickly everyone jumped on the let's-stone-Mercer train. My mom cuts my hair with clippers just like that. And I don't think she's a rapist.

Veronica Mars is a cock block and pink robe frilly hair = WTFmarshmallow?

Holy lying promo police. Because besides the "Your pal?" and the "C'mon boyfriend, let's bowl!" I saw no relationship hitting the rocks. I feel violated and don't know who I can trust anymore.

The Noir

My guess is that Landry is the rapist. I thought it might be Tim Foyle for the longest time because he's super skeevie, but I now think that Timmy has the whole uber creep wall because he is also trying to find the rapist to impress Landry. Boy will he be disappointed if I'm right. I think Landry knows the ins and outs of crime and uses the to his advantage as a bad guy himself. I'm guessing he'll try to force Veronica into sex and the foreshadowing will come when Keith has to kick his ass (because he never got his answer in the episode). Take that with a grain of salt, because I've never gotten a mystery right. That's the right saying, I think.

The Snarky



Veronica: "How did you get this number? I don't give it out to anyone."
Tim Foyle: "You're not the only one at this school who has certain gifts."
Veronica: "Gifts. That was my grandmother's term for, um... female *whistle* just so you know."



Veronica: "There's no way. Someone is trying to screw with me."
Tim Foyle: "You think it's me? You think I'm trying to get you out of Landry's class because I don't like you."
Veronica: "Wait, you don't like me?"



Veronica: "Hi honey, I'm home!"
Logan: "Hey, moosetastic. What's-"
Veronica: "So tired of explaining."



Veronica: "Parker had a good time to."
Piz: "Oh yah, she seemed nice."
Veronica: "You think so? The reason I ask is because - I'm sorry, I'm having a traumatic stress flashback to the sixth grade. Parker thought you were cool... And also cute."



Veronica: "This is sketchy, but-."
Lamb: "If it's Bigfoot, we checked. He's got an alibi."
Veronica: "Ooooh, rape humor. It never gets old."



Harmony: "Perfect. You know what they say about Martinis."
Veronica: "Um... something involving breasts?"