Emotion-based reactions
Through self-observation, I have been able to perceive the emotionally-based reactions that come to me, when in different situations.
these emotional responses are instinctual, fast and totally uncontrolled. It's amusing to suddenly be aware and think of the very strong input that emotional reactions have given me in my actions, thoughts and moods in the past. I have learned that we have to listen to these reactions, but be careful of them.
Sometimes they provide us with valuable insight, it can tell us when something "feels" right or wrong, even when our mind can't pinpoint an exact reason for it.
However, at other times emotional reactions come from our fears and false beliefs (such as thinking that we are unworthy, that we don't deserve to be loved, that we suffer when we are alone, that we need someone to make our life worth living, etc). We are usually not aware of these false beliefs, we fail to recognize them for what they are, and tend to blame others for making us feel bad, and start making demands to change people and make us feel better, when in truth the reason why we feel bad is within us.
Another fact that comes into play is that we can't control emotions, they just come uninvited. We can certainly restrain them and keep them to ourselves, but we cannot avoid feeling them. So what should I do when emotions that stem from false beliefs come? I think the best way to handle them is not to dismiss them (as it only creates repression, feelings of insatisfaction, and might probably lead to an "emotional time bomb"), but to acknowledge the feeling, think about where it comes from, see it for what is (something that comes from my fears and insecurities, not from someone else's actions), and finally, once its true nature and origin is recognized, let it go. I think it also helps to share how you feel with close friends or a couple, but fully explaining where you think it comes from, not with the intention of changing the other person or making him or her feel bad about it, but to enhance intimacy and let the other person know you better.
This is what I have learned on emotional reactions, in a nutshell. Enough philosophy for today :-)