For peppery_limewebbapettigrewApril 16 2006, 12:27:03 UTC
Recipient: peppery_lime Prompt: Severus/Pomfrey, sheets, "Oh, Severus, I hope this never ends!" Word count: 597 Rating: (and warnings, if any)PG. I took some basic liberties with canon, such as Snape might not have been in his office the exact second that the Death Eaters entered.
“Tell her what happened, boy,” Snape growled, thrusting the first-year forward.
The child’s lower lip trembled with shame, but he did not cry. “I...I...I was just mindin’ my business in the library when Bertram Dwyer hexed me. Porlapsus Internus Hemorrhoidus,” He explained, shifting uncomfortably where he stood. “I can’t sit down; it hurts."
“I can see that.” The school nurse clucked her tongue. “I think that Prolapsus is enjoying a revival,” she said with the hint of a twinkle in her eye. “You’re the third person this term to come to see me. I wish I could give you better news, but there is no magical cure for this. The best I can do is to administer some Muggle medicine.” She crossed the room and began to scour the contents of her closet. “Ah, here it is. Preparation H. You’d think they could come up with a fancier name than that, but given what it cures, the people using probably care less about what it’s named and more about what it fixes.” She handed the boy the long tube. “I’ll spare you the embarrassment of having me apply the cream. Take this to your House’s restroom and follow the directions. You should be find in a couple of days.”
The child nodded and then, gripping the tube, ran gingerly from the room, slamming the door behind him.
“Stupid upperclassmen,” muttered Pomfrey. “That hex could have wrecked him!”
“Rectum? It could have killed him!” Snape countered.
“Oh, that was a nasty pun,” giggled Madame Pomfrey. “But I liked it.”
“There ought to be a counter-jinx,” Snape said, his beetle-black eyes darkening. “I’ve looked for one for years with no luck.”
“So would I be correct to assume that you were the recipient of the same jinx so many years ago?” Madame Pomfrey grinned when Snape shot her a dirty look. She sighed. “I do love it here. Severus, I hope this never ends. I’ve been at Hogwarts for over twenty-five years and every year I love it more. People think I don’t have any children, but in fact, I have thousands, all of whom need me desperately. I love being able to help them. I don’t know what I’d do if Hogwarts was ever to close.”
Severus grunted something unintelligible as he grasped his forearm.
“Whatever is the matter with your arm, Severus?” Madame Pomfrey asked, her tone as gentle with him as it was with the first year moments before. “Did you cut it on a Venomous Tentacula? I’ve seen you grabbing at it in the corridors twice this week already, and I meant to ask.”
Snape’s countenance had waned from a sallow yellow to as pale as a white sheet. He pulled his arm away from the school nurse. “I’m fine, I assure you,” he answered.
Suddenly, the sound of screams from the floor could be heard. Snape distinctly heard “There are Death Eaters at Hogwarts,” but Madame Pomfrey’s puzzled expression indicated that she hadn’t caught the message. The sound of glass breaking and racing feet echoes through the corridors.
“Mercy!” exclaimed Pomfrey. “Whatever are they shouting about this late at night, when they should all be in their houses? I swear it, those kids know when Dumbledore’s out of the building, and they take advantage when he’s gone.”
“Probably another practical joke. I’ll take care of it,” Snape snapped. “You just stay here while I check this out.” He turned to his colleague, his expression unreadable. “
“Be prepared, Madame Pomfrey; I think a lot of the students are going to need your help tonight.”
Prompt: Severus/Pomfrey, sheets, "Oh, Severus, I hope this never ends!"
Word count: 597
Rating: (and warnings, if any)PG. I took some basic liberties with canon, such as Snape might not have been in his office the exact second that the Death Eaters entered.
“Tell her what happened, boy,” Snape growled, thrusting the first-year forward.
The child’s lower lip trembled with shame, but he did not cry. “I...I...I was just mindin’ my business in the library when Bertram Dwyer hexed me. Porlapsus Internus Hemorrhoidus,” He explained, shifting uncomfortably where he stood. “I can’t sit down; it hurts."
“I can see that.” The school nurse clucked her tongue. “I think that Prolapsus is enjoying a revival,” she said with the hint of a twinkle in her eye. “You’re the third person this term to come to see me. I wish I could give you better news, but there is no magical cure for this. The best I can do is to administer some Muggle medicine.” She crossed the room and began to scour the contents of her closet. “Ah, here it is. Preparation H. You’d think they could come up with a fancier name than that, but given what it cures, the people using probably care less about what it’s named and more about what it fixes.” She handed the boy the long tube. “I’ll spare you the embarrassment of having me apply the cream. Take this to your House’s restroom and follow the directions. You should be find in a couple of days.”
The child nodded and then, gripping the tube, ran gingerly from the room, slamming the door behind him.
“Stupid upperclassmen,” muttered Pomfrey. “That hex could have wrecked him!”
“Rectum? It could have killed him!” Snape countered.
“Oh, that was a nasty pun,” giggled Madame Pomfrey. “But I liked it.”
“There ought to be a counter-jinx,” Snape said, his beetle-black eyes darkening. “I’ve looked for one for years with no luck.”
“So would I be correct to assume that you were the recipient of the same jinx so many years ago?” Madame Pomfrey grinned when Snape shot her a dirty look. She sighed. “I do love it here. Severus, I hope this never ends. I’ve been at Hogwarts for over twenty-five years and every year I love it more. People think I don’t have any children, but in fact, I have thousands, all of whom need me desperately. I love being able to help them. I don’t know what I’d do if Hogwarts was ever to close.”
Severus grunted something unintelligible as he grasped his forearm.
“Whatever is the matter with your arm, Severus?” Madame Pomfrey asked, her tone as gentle with him as it was with the first year moments before. “Did you cut it on a Venomous Tentacula? I’ve seen you grabbing at it in the corridors twice this week already, and I meant to ask.”
Snape’s countenance had waned from a sallow yellow to as pale as a white sheet. He pulled his arm away from the school nurse. “I’m fine, I assure you,” he answered.
Suddenly, the sound of screams from the floor could be heard. Snape distinctly heard “There are Death Eaters at Hogwarts,” but Madame Pomfrey’s puzzled expression indicated that she hadn’t caught the message. The sound of glass breaking and racing feet echoes through the corridors.
“Mercy!” exclaimed Pomfrey. “Whatever are they shouting about this late at night, when they should all be in their houses? I swear it, those kids know when Dumbledore’s out of the building, and they take advantage when he’s gone.”
“Probably another practical joke. I’ll take care of it,” Snape snapped. “You just stay here while I check this out.” He turned to his colleague, his expression unreadable. “
“Be prepared, Madame Pomfrey; I think a lot of the students are going to need your help tonight.”
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