here i am
It's officially weird coming home for the holidays. I felt really disconnected from everything on Thanksgiving Day when I should be excited to see the family I haven't seen in awhile. I just felt extremely empty and was pretty much zoning out the whole time.
Then, I had a conversation with my uncle when he asked how school was going and I explained how everything was going well and how everything was winding down until I gradauted and then he said something along the lines of how we all start doing the same thing for a long time and how it just becomes automatic. I couldn't have any other response to his statement other than that he was right.
I want some aspects of life to be automatic. I do. I really do. It would be cool to make things like money and all the bullshit paperwork to become automatic and it be done and over with without thinking or trying too hard.
But my love life, I want it to be spontaneous. I want so dearly for the girl I'm crazy about to call me up right now and say she wants nothing other than to jump in my arms and stay there forever.
But there I go dreaming again. There I go forever thinking that the impossible is possible.
I'm in the state of being on the edge. I'm starting to become less conservative in my thinking and in my work. I feel very liberal and unsafe when I act. My inhibitions are very thin. I like that. It feels fantastic actually. I'm trying so very hard not to be distracted by this girl all the time. But passion is what drives me. I feel like I'm on the edge of the cliff but the cliff is rising higher & higher.
so I hang out with matty d today. we will see how that goes.
Then, I had a conversation with my uncle when he asked how school was going and I explained how everything was going well and how everything was winding down until I gradauted and then he said something along the lines of how we all start doing the same thing for a long time and how it just becomes automatic. I couldn't have any other response to his statement other than that he was right.
I want some aspects of life to be automatic. I do. I really do. It would be cool to make things like money and all the bullshit paperwork to become automatic and it be done and over with without thinking or trying too hard.
But my love life, I want it to be spontaneous. I want so dearly for the girl I'm crazy about to call me up right now and say she wants nothing other than to jump in my arms and stay there forever.
But there I go dreaming again. There I go forever thinking that the impossible is possible.
I'm in the state of being on the edge. I'm starting to become less conservative in my thinking and in my work. I feel very liberal and unsafe when I act. My inhibitions are very thin. I like that. It feels fantastic actually. I'm trying so very hard not to be distracted by this girl all the time. But passion is what drives me. I feel like I'm on the edge of the cliff but the cliff is rising higher & higher.
so I hang out with matty d today. we will see how that goes.