Could talk about college, could talk about Hetalia Day '11, but instead...
I come bearing several long, weirdly phrased, badly formatted Hetalia headcanon derpings.
For example, America's attitude towards/relationship with Russia (prompted by events at Hetalia Day Boston '11 involving people that I have a deep and intense admiration of despite differences of opinion *_*).
At this present point in history, there is some remaining element of the scared-stiff-admiration srs-business worthy-rivallery of past decades. While America hasn't changed much, Russia has taken some effort to show that he is reformed as a person. America doesn't believe this, but is aware of Russia's laughably horribad corruption, and routinely makes nasty cracks at Russia's present democracy. They don't talk about their beliefs or intentions at all, because each edges around subjects that may present unwanted unpleasentness. However, when it comes to nuclear disarmament, no quarters will be given and no holds barred, despite the deceptively peaceful and persistant nature of the talks.
On some level, America still wakes up at night afraid that he'll have lost his hold on the world, and that Russia has turned back to his ways of the last century. After he's been awake for several hours, he reminds himself how silly this is. The fears are still there somewhere, though. And it is fear. America was damn afraid of the USSR. There's no getting around it.
But, I also think that there was a strange sort of admiration and fascination present. And that is what increased the hyperparanoia. The sinking, freezing feeling of 'what if it works? what if it honestly works out for him? oh god, god don't let it succeed' that drove America to turn life into a sort of badly-muffled security blanket.
He also had that whole 'forcing myself to act like I'm not afraid' thing going on, which means that when you look at those fanarts of USA and USSR standing nose-to-nose holding guns to each other? America's shaking in his big damn boots. Shivering, rather.
As for hippie!merica... I don't think he was too terribly concerned with buddying up with Russia, myself. What little un-drugged lucidity he retained was fully put towards agonizing over Vietnam, be honest. (By the way, he said he didn't support it, but there was always that niggling little doubt about whether or not he could afford to pull out entirely, even though he knew how bad it was and how much it hurt to remain.
Poland and Lithuania, status: it's complicated.
Poland loves Lithuania.
Not like fairytale-princess-babus-ever-after love. Not like I-just-really-want-your-body love. Not like ohmigosh-having-a-playservant-is-so-fun not-really-love. But just plain love, like when you know someone and you feel like you've known them forever.
Like the kind of love you feel for the person whose phone number you know better than your own. Like when you spend a weekend with someone, and then you get home and realize that it sort of actually hurts to be apart, even though that seems silly. Like when you have that friend who you've been as close as siblings with for years, and then they do something super-cool and you suddenly look at them with new eyes and you don't know if you're just feeling more crazily platonic admiration for them than usual, or something a little more.
That's how Poland loves Lithuania.
It's trust. They had an incredibly strong bond of understanding and trust during the Commonwealth.
No, it wasn't all fun and games. Yes, it did have its problems. When you trust and understand someone, part of that is counting on them to keep making the same mistakes they've always made. It's true. Poland will keep being distractable and flightly and self-centered and a weird mixture of cowardly and brash. And Lithuania will keep planning unrealistic things ahead, and trying to give people credit they don't deserve, and thinking and dreaming just too hard. And both of these behaviours are destructive in their own ways, but it's just part of who they each are.
And, despite their separations, their disagreements, their differences in history and lifestyle and personal social ideologies... They still retain some element of trust. Have you ever had a friend you were so close with in middle school that you really were practically inseparable? And then they moved away and you turned out to both be on the same floor when you went to university, and you were awkward but still remembered all of the good times from when you were younger and different people? I imagine that Poland and Lithuania are a lot like that.
And, with all of the yearning for good times back and memories of trust and little sharpnesses of loneliness that he's just grown used to again? I think that Poland still loves Lithuania. And I think that he still may not have realized it, not in such a word.
For Poland, it's just what friends do and are like. Poland's friends are few and rather far between, and he doesn't trust easily (one might even say that he was originally forced into trusting Lithuania, and took to testing him and bullying him as a result), but damn it if you're a friend of his then you're a good one, and one for life. So Poland still cares very deeply for Lithuania.
Even when they were (basically, essentially, not canonically stated in so many words yet) married, Poland found himself growing used to Lithuania's presence, to their neighborhood and partnership and reliance. And I think that out of sheer habit, he's kind of forced himself to be distracted every time he started to think too hard about his and Lithuania's relathionship. He hasn't thought about it for a while, and he'd certainly shy away from admitting his feelings as much as he did centuries ago. He avoids his history and his feelings, in this respect, and because he avoids thinking about how he thinks about Lithuania (because along with all of the many wonderful feelings and memories, there also come some very bad and upsetting ones that he would prefer to not dredge up so much) he never tells Lithuania what he thinks of him. And so, Lithuania has never once really understood just how much he has meant to Poland, and Poland may very well never be able to tell him (which probably means to face everything at once in his memory, in order to face the future, and realize what has been valuable parts of his history; and that may not happen ever, because Poland has a lot of bad memories and sore wounds that will not heal easily, especially with Lithuania's present somewhat-unrealistically-vengeful treatment of Poles).
Lithuania loves (or, at least loved?) Poland the same way. Not as strongly, and not at the same times or for the same reasons, but he still shares that value and care for their shared history.
English gardens ;3;
He resides in Westminster, in a cushy old building that is paid for by his government. He takes to the streets sometimes (often, or often enough at least) and walks. He mostly walks through London's parks, because they are many and difficult to avoid. Sometimes he goes to the many parks on purpose, also. He walks through them and looks at them, examining them. He enjoys them because very often the parks in London are well-cared-for, and pretty, and also they have gardens. He likes gardens. He enjoys flowers and shrubs being arranged in a particular visual order or theme. He also likes taking care of them, and how gardens and plants work as a whole, which is why he was so taken with the Victorian naturalist movement. Also why he wins annual awards and international attention for the gardens in his general house, and near his particular house especially.
(This is what I think about, because I need to get back there like burning and making up headcanon involving London is how I deal with my loss.)
For example, America's attitude towards/relationship with Russia (prompted by events at Hetalia Day Boston '11 involving people that I have a deep and intense admiration of despite differences of opinion *_*).
At this present point in history, there is some remaining element of the scared-stiff-admiration srs-business worthy-rivallery of past decades. While America hasn't changed much, Russia has taken some effort to show that he is reformed as a person. America doesn't believe this, but is aware of Russia's laughably horribad corruption, and routinely makes nasty cracks at Russia's present democracy. They don't talk about their beliefs or intentions at all, because each edges around subjects that may present unwanted unpleasentness. However, when it comes to nuclear disarmament, no quarters will be given and no holds barred, despite the deceptively peaceful and persistant nature of the talks.
On some level, America still wakes up at night afraid that he'll have lost his hold on the world, and that Russia has turned back to his ways of the last century. After he's been awake for several hours, he reminds himself how silly this is. The fears are still there somewhere, though. And it is fear. America was damn afraid of the USSR. There's no getting around it.
But, I also think that there was a strange sort of admiration and fascination present. And that is what increased the hyperparanoia. The sinking, freezing feeling of 'what if it works? what if it honestly works out for him? oh god, god don't let it succeed' that drove America to turn life into a sort of badly-muffled security blanket.
He also had that whole 'forcing myself to act like I'm not afraid' thing going on, which means that when you look at those fanarts of USA and USSR standing nose-to-nose holding guns to each other? America's shaking in his big damn boots. Shivering, rather.
As for hippie!merica... I don't think he was too terribly concerned with buddying up with Russia, myself. What little un-drugged lucidity he retained was fully put towards agonizing over Vietnam, be honest. (By the way, he said he didn't support it, but there was always that niggling little doubt about whether or not he could afford to pull out entirely, even though he knew how bad it was and how much it hurt to remain.
Poland and Lithuania, status: it's complicated.
Poland loves Lithuania.
Not like fairytale-princess-babus-ever-after love. Not like I-just-really-want-your-body love. Not like ohmigosh-having-a-playservant-is-so-fun not-really-love. But just plain love, like when you know someone and you feel like you've known them forever.
Like the kind of love you feel for the person whose phone number you know better than your own. Like when you spend a weekend with someone, and then you get home and realize that it sort of actually hurts to be apart, even though that seems silly. Like when you have that friend who you've been as close as siblings with for years, and then they do something super-cool and you suddenly look at them with new eyes and you don't know if you're just feeling more crazily platonic admiration for them than usual, or something a little more.
That's how Poland loves Lithuania.
It's trust. They had an incredibly strong bond of understanding and trust during the Commonwealth.
No, it wasn't all fun and games. Yes, it did have its problems. When you trust and understand someone, part of that is counting on them to keep making the same mistakes they've always made. It's true. Poland will keep being distractable and flightly and self-centered and a weird mixture of cowardly and brash. And Lithuania will keep planning unrealistic things ahead, and trying to give people credit they don't deserve, and thinking and dreaming just too hard. And both of these behaviours are destructive in their own ways, but it's just part of who they each are.
And, despite their separations, their disagreements, their differences in history and lifestyle and personal social ideologies... They still retain some element of trust. Have you ever had a friend you were so close with in middle school that you really were practically inseparable? And then they moved away and you turned out to both be on the same floor when you went to university, and you were awkward but still remembered all of the good times from when you were younger and different people? I imagine that Poland and Lithuania are a lot like that.
And, with all of the yearning for good times back and memories of trust and little sharpnesses of loneliness that he's just grown used to again? I think that Poland still loves Lithuania. And I think that he still may not have realized it, not in such a word.
For Poland, it's just what friends do and are like. Poland's friends are few and rather far between, and he doesn't trust easily (one might even say that he was originally forced into trusting Lithuania, and took to testing him and bullying him as a result), but damn it if you're a friend of his then you're a good one, and one for life. So Poland still cares very deeply for Lithuania.
Even when they were (basically, essentially, not canonically stated in so many words yet) married, Poland found himself growing used to Lithuania's presence, to their neighborhood and partnership and reliance. And I think that out of sheer habit, he's kind of forced himself to be distracted every time he started to think too hard about his and Lithuania's relathionship. He hasn't thought about it for a while, and he'd certainly shy away from admitting his feelings as much as he did centuries ago. He avoids his history and his feelings, in this respect, and because he avoids thinking about how he thinks about Lithuania (because along with all of the many wonderful feelings and memories, there also come some very bad and upsetting ones that he would prefer to not dredge up so much) he never tells Lithuania what he thinks of him. And so, Lithuania has never once really understood just how much he has meant to Poland, and Poland may very well never be able to tell him (which probably means to face everything at once in his memory, in order to face the future, and realize what has been valuable parts of his history; and that may not happen ever, because Poland has a lot of bad memories and sore wounds that will not heal easily, especially with Lithuania's present somewhat-unrealistically-vengeful treatment of Poles).
Lithuania loves (or, at least loved?) Poland the same way. Not as strongly, and not at the same times or for the same reasons, but he still shares that value and care for their shared history.
English gardens ;3;
He resides in Westminster, in a cushy old building that is paid for by his government. He takes to the streets sometimes (often, or often enough at least) and walks. He mostly walks through London's parks, because they are many and difficult to avoid. Sometimes he goes to the many parks on purpose, also. He walks through them and looks at them, examining them. He enjoys them because very often the parks in London are well-cared-for, and pretty, and also they have gardens. He likes gardens. He enjoys flowers and shrubs being arranged in a particular visual order or theme. He also likes taking care of them, and how gardens and plants work as a whole, which is why he was so taken with the Victorian naturalist movement. Also why he wins annual awards and international attention for the gardens in his general house, and near his particular house especially.
(This is what I think about, because I need to get back there like burning and making up headcanon involving London is how I deal with my loss.)