you and me were kings, over the parkway tonight...
So being eighteen is really not as wonderful as i thought. I got my tongue peirced, bought a scratch ticket and cigars all in the same 24 hours, and im over it. haha.
I think the week before my actual eighteenth birthday (in AZ) was much better than the time i have spent here in merrimack.
I anticipated a much better summer i guess. But everyone works all day. I dont really.i think the crappy weather lately has alot to do with it too, but i just miss being people all the time. school had that convienience. It was the fact that we had to be there, but so did everyone else, so it was good. But now, you have to work around jobs and other activities before you can see certian people. I havent hung out with Flynny since we have gotten back from AZ...so about a week and a half now. I have seen him a few times, and it was awkward. It bothers me that it has to be like that. Almost 5 years of our lives were spent together, best friends...and now...we are merely aquaintances. He has new friends, which i is great to see him so happy, but meh, being no part of that happiness is a bit upsetting.
On a lighter note, i have started Shelby's birthday gift, which i am very excited about. She is such a positive light in my life, and in so many others, so she deserves something great. Hopefully this will be up to par!
I have been hanging out with Kathleen more, as well as the kids from Shaws. Im pretty excited about it. A change is usually always good, and Kathleen is amazing.
There are people i know who say if they could go back and change anything from highschool, they wouldnt. Although that is ideal, pssshh, i know i would change alot. And the fact that highschool was such a growing experience means there were obviously mistakes, and drama. Who doesnt have it?
I think something i have trouble doing is accepting the unfortunate things that happen. I feel a constant need for justification in what is happening, even if there isnt any.
Either way, whether things were good, or they were bad, I am so grateful for my senior class. Friends or not, i love you guys. It's funny because there are some people in my Senior class that i never expected to be friends with....I.E- Shelby! I always felt inferior to her and her friends, never opening my eyes, and putting an end to my lame self-consiousness to realize she is a great girl. Now, my best friend, we laugh at how we felt about eachother before becoming friends.
But yeah, there are alot of things i would have changed, and alot of things that i feel as though they can still be changed but things arent working. Meh, i dont know. I just feel like i havent been spending anytime with my old friends. I miss them, more than they might know. But our efforts are equally as weak i think.
Anyways, rambling on and on....
I just want something to happen this summer. I dont want to rely on partying as a source or entertainment. I want freedom from my damn house, and away from this computer, and i want to feel happy! AHHH!!!
haha...
god bless.
I think the week before my actual eighteenth birthday (in AZ) was much better than the time i have spent here in merrimack.
I anticipated a much better summer i guess. But everyone works all day. I dont really.i think the crappy weather lately has alot to do with it too, but i just miss being people all the time. school had that convienience. It was the fact that we had to be there, but so did everyone else, so it was good. But now, you have to work around jobs and other activities before you can see certian people. I havent hung out with Flynny since we have gotten back from AZ...so about a week and a half now. I have seen him a few times, and it was awkward. It bothers me that it has to be like that. Almost 5 years of our lives were spent together, best friends...and now...we are merely aquaintances. He has new friends, which i is great to see him so happy, but meh, being no part of that happiness is a bit upsetting.
On a lighter note, i have started Shelby's birthday gift, which i am very excited about. She is such a positive light in my life, and in so many others, so she deserves something great. Hopefully this will be up to par!
I have been hanging out with Kathleen more, as well as the kids from Shaws. Im pretty excited about it. A change is usually always good, and Kathleen is amazing.
There are people i know who say if they could go back and change anything from highschool, they wouldnt. Although that is ideal, pssshh, i know i would change alot. And the fact that highschool was such a growing experience means there were obviously mistakes, and drama. Who doesnt have it?
I think something i have trouble doing is accepting the unfortunate things that happen. I feel a constant need for justification in what is happening, even if there isnt any.
Either way, whether things were good, or they were bad, I am so grateful for my senior class. Friends or not, i love you guys. It's funny because there are some people in my Senior class that i never expected to be friends with....I.E- Shelby! I always felt inferior to her and her friends, never opening my eyes, and putting an end to my lame self-consiousness to realize she is a great girl. Now, my best friend, we laugh at how we felt about eachother before becoming friends.
But yeah, there are alot of things i would have changed, and alot of things that i feel as though they can still be changed but things arent working. Meh, i dont know. I just feel like i havent been spending anytime with my old friends. I miss them, more than they might know. But our efforts are equally as weak i think.
Anyways, rambling on and on....
I just want something to happen this summer. I dont want to rely on partying as a source or entertainment. I want freedom from my damn house, and away from this computer, and i want to feel happy! AHHH!!!
haha...
god bless.