'Endless Sun' for silverferret89
Merry Christmas, silverferret89!
Title: Endless Sun
Author: ???
Rating: light R for a bit of gore and a little bit of sexy
Pairing: Flones
Word Count: 3683
Summary: in the middle of a war against invading aliens, you have to try and find something to hold on to, till the end. Tom's the leader of a community fighting for life in a world that doesn't know nights anymore.
A/N: Merry christmas Louise! You asked for something Starship Troopers like, I don't really know if that's anything like it, but it's got aliens and blood and Flones and guns so I hope you like it anyway and that I didn't majorly screw up!
"Mission aborted! Come back to base!"
The voice in Danny's earpiece is loud, crackling but leaving no room for misinterpretation. Still, Danny inhales a little air, hot and gritty, and inhales some dust along with it, sticking to his palate, before he starts talking.
"Tom, I'm almost -"
"I said mission aborted, Sergeant! You fucking listen to me and come back to base right now!"
Danny sighs, pushing himself off the floor, eyes all over the building in front of him, making sure he can't see any Eords anywhere. He won't pass up the opportunity to kill one of the fuckers.
"Fine, Lieutenant."
The tone he's using is a little acid, disappointed. He's never wanted to join the war, but after his home colony was invaded, he had little choice. And he'd learned how to sort-of enjoy it. Eords were nasty bastards, and they were the ones who'd started all this.
Danny makes his way back to base quickly but carefully, avoiding the known underground nests so that his footsteps don't alert the Eords. Gigantic looking insects with the same senses too, they can determine a human is running on the ground above them even if they are miles underground.
Danny cuts off his radio, his gun strapped to his back and his fingers digging into his palms, leaving tracks of dirt and pain in his frustration. He could do this, this mission. He could have done it, easy, clean job, but no, Tom had to pull the plug. Again. That's Tom all over; over-careful and overprotective.
Danny sighs again when he sees the entrance of the base in front of him, and he kicks the sand around the sealed tunnel door, punching in a code and then waiting for the retina scan to recognise him. Once the hatch is open, Danny makes his way down quickly, sliding down the ladder more than climbing down it. It's dark in here, always is, but Danny is so used to it he doesn't even bother with his night-goggles.
The smell and taste of sand and dirt is stuck to his mouth, hair and skin when he walks along the corridor of the living quarters, and he knows he should be making his way to the officers' meeting room for his debrief, but all he can think about is a hot shower and some food. He doesn't have time to dwell on the idea before he's faced with Harry, who wraps a hand around Danny's arm right away.
"Tom wants to see you."
"Go figure."
Harry's no messenger boy, so Tom must really be in a frenzy right now. Shower and food will have to wait. Danny deflates as Harry's grip loosens.
"Sorry, mate. He's in a state, think it's better for everyone if you go right away."
Danny nods, clapping his comrade and friend's shoulder as he passes him. Harry has been stuck underground for a few weeks now, an arm wound needing to heal before he can go back to the field. He's been going crazy down here, enjoying the feel of the dirty sun on his face more than he'd admit, especially after the whole Dougie thing.
They all have stories. Tom and his unwanted Messiah status, Harry and his love for a fallen comrade, Danny and his recurring nightmares. They all have them, so Danny knows better than to ask Harry how he's feeling most of the time. Pointless and probably a little dangerous.
"Catch you later, Jones."
"Yeah, sure. I got some moonshine."
"Cool. Calm him down, yeah?"
"I'll try my best."
Danny disappears around the corner, making his way to Tom's office, running a hand through his hair, shaking grains of sand away that fall onto his boots. The Eords have turned the whole planet into sandbox, turned the sun more aggressive, made it all the better for them to live and all the worse for humans. Danny doesn't know how, but he's seen it happen.
Danny walks inside Tom's quarters without even knocking, faced with the blonde, seeing his brown eyes flashing with a whole lot of emotions, not all of them Danny is willing to try and decipher.
"When I give you an order, Jones, I expect you to follow it! You don't have the privilege to talk back!"
"Even when I think you're wrong?"
"Especially then! Fuck, I am your commander. I can demote you and put you on fucking toilet duties if I want to, Danny!"
"I could have finished this."
"Lee saw three more Eords in that warehouse! You're good, but not that good. I don't need to lose you too."
The freshest memories of them all - Dougie had been like a brother to Tom, and his death was heavy on all their consciences. There's not a lot of them left as it is.
Danny looks down, rubbing his boots together. He hates having to apologise.
"Sorry, Tom. I was sure -"
"It's not your job. Just. Stop doing that, okay? You're making me lose credibility."
Tom probably has the biggest burden of them all. After seeing him take on to two Eords to save his family, the common citizens had taken it upon themselves to make him the leader of their small community, and who could say no to something like that, huh?
"I said sorry."
Tom's shoulders drop, and the fight in him is apparently gone, making Danny sigh in relief. He hates fighting with Tom. Luckily, it usually never lasts.
"Yeah. Okay. Are you hungry?"
"Starving, but I want a shower first."
Tom nods, and Danny bites his lip for a second, not quite sure what to do. In the end he just turns around and sets off.
"I'll see you in a bit then."
"Danny -"
Danny looks over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow, but Tom just buries his hands in his pockets, his face scrunched up a little.
"Nah, never mind."
Danny shrugs in answer, knowing that Tom is not going to say what's on his mind. Danny just heaves a sigh and leaves Tom's quarters, finding his way to his own quickly, avoiding people and looks.
He drops his heavy backpack on the ground when he reaches his room, groaning in relief as the pounds of food, water, ammo and radio touch the floor. His muscles are hurting, weary and tense, but as he leans down to untie his boots, as he kicks them off and starts on his clothes, he feels the weariness slowly disappear.
But there's nothing better than when he steps under the shower, the hot water making him groan again, with delight this time. The good thing about this constant harsh sun is that they cannot run out of hot water, and even if it's no comparison to the pain that it is to have no night any more, it's always a plus that Danny's willing to enjoy whenever he can.
He feels his muscles loosen, and he massages the pain away from his calves, moaning to himself as he contemplates a little wank before having to go back to the rest of the community.
He's about to bring his hand to his cock when the door of his bathroom opens, and he looks up, startled, brushing his hand over the fogged glass panel but there's no one there, because whoever walked in is now is in the shower with him, hands on his hips, keeping him from looking back. But Danny knows exactly who it is, and he relaxes into the touch, closing his eyes.
"I wanted to offer you to shower in my room but you know how it is around here."
"So you sneak into my room? Is that any better, Tom?"
Tom sighs against Danny's wet skin, lips kissing Danny's shoulder blade. Another secret, albeit a very badly guarded one, but one that they share, at least. Danny's never told how he watched his family die at the hands of Eords. He wouldn't, not to the man that killed two to save his mum and sister.
"Don't care. I was scared, this afternoon, Dan."
"I'm sorry, Tom, told you. I didn't mean to scare you. I just really thought I could take them one by one."
"Don't do it again. Call for backup."
"Okay. Can we stop talking now?"
Tom doesn't answer with words as Danny turns around, hands gripping Tom's hair, slick with water. He pushes it off Tom's forehead, their eyes meeting just before their lips do, Danny's eyes sliding closed as he opens his mouth to Tom's tongue, and there's definitely no need for words when Tom's hand reaches Danny's cock.
**
Another day, another intel mission, Danny's getting tired of them. Tom can be protective sometimes, but this is just taking it too far. Danny hasn't seen his rifle in almost two weeks and soon enough he'll have forgotten how to use it. And God, he's bored. He's doing basically nothing but sitting on his arse and waiting for an Eord to show up - they usually never do. It's all a tactic for him to be out of Tom's hair, but not in danger either. But it's been going on for too long, this punishment or prevention, or whatever it is. Danny needs to get back to the field, the real one, not deserted petrol stations and warehouses.
Tom doesn't understand - he probably never will because Danny refuses to talk about it - but Danny need this. He needs to be out there, to work out his revenge with tears and sweat and mostly that green goo that is the closest to what they can call blood when it comes to Eords. He needs to see them fall like he's seen his mother and sister fall, he needs to hear the inhuman growls of their last breath like he's heard his mother and sister cry and moan in pain. If they had it in them, Danny'd want to see them beg like he's seen his mother and sister do.
Tom wouldn't understand, because he was a hero where Danny was a coward. He didn't watch his family fall, cry, die. He fought for that not to happen, and now his family lived in the underground base, not happy, maybe, but - alive. Danny only has himself to blame.
That night, when Danny makes his way through the corridors as silently as he can, he pushes all those thoughts away until he's only thinking of one or two things when he knocks lightly on Tom's door, before sliding inside.
It's pretty much impossible that their secret still is one, but they still like to pretend. It's all gone so fast, from leader and soldier to friends, to drunken nights and fumbling on top of bedclothes, from relieving tension from time to time to a full-fledged relationship, complete with faithfulness and feelings, not that they've really talked about those.
"Hey."
Tom is nursing a glass of whiskey - rare - at his desk, and Danny walks to him, sitting himself on top of papers on the desk.
"Tom, I get what you're doing, but you need to stop. I'm not fragile, nor unstable. I'm not going to go and do something stupid and get myself killed if you put me back in the action. I mean, come on, Harry's seeing more of it than I am!"
Tom looks down at his drink, amber swirling around the glass. He doesn't even look guilty.
"You understand why I do it, really? I'm not so sure."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean - I mean my need to protect you - to protect us - is so fucking overwhelming I can't see past it, Danny. And fuck it if that makes me a bad leader. I just. Can't lose you."
Danny takes a deep breath, letting himself slide off the desk, onto Tom's lap. His fingers run through the silky blonde hair, marvelling for a second at how soft it is, before he looks down into Tom's eyes.
"I'm afraid you might lose me if you don't let me go back, Tom. I need this. I need it - as much as I need you. I'll be careful, okay? And I promise I'll never leave again without a MediKit. Please, Tom."
They've rarely been this honest and open with one another, it feels a little bit foreign but right at the same time. Tom just sighs in answer, his arms circling Danny's waist and holding him close.
"Fine. But I'll kick your arse myself if you're not careful out there."
Danny grins, leaning down to kiss Tom, nothing soft here.
"Deal."
**
When Danny finds himself with an eight-feet-tall Eord, his finger trembles on the trigger of his gun, as always, but he's got better things to do than to freeze up in fear now. He's got a clean shot, so he goes for it, the bullet going straight between the insect-like eyes, green goo and brains exploding all over him, before he finds himself thrown to the ground, the weight of the alien he just killed pushing him down as it falls on top of him. Danny sputters and coughs out dirt and God-knows-what's of the Alien, crawling from underneath it and staying on his knees for a minute, heaving and spitting out blood and sand.
This mission was a stupid idea, from the very beginning. Tom leading it was even more stupid, but Danny went with it, even if Tom hasn't gone on a mission in ages. The whole idea was too ambitious and a little bit crazy, but Danny found no argument to fight it, Tom way too into it from the moment Harry talked about it.
So they took a battalion to the closest Eord nest they knew the location of, thinking the element of surprise and a lot of smoke bombs will get them inside.
But that was without counting the smarts of those aliens. And then Tom was nowhere to be found, and Danny was shaking with fury and fear. If they'd done anything to him...
So Danny made his way through, men following him, blinded with rage and thirst for blood. He fought Eords and his men alike, forcing them to go back to the base, and in the end they all did, but for Harry, who followed him in the underground maze, getting darker and darker, oppressive and claustrophobic, until they found him.
Tom's unconscious and looking battered when they find him, and Danny just runs, doesn't think. Until there's an Eord in front of him and he doesn't even think. He blasts the motherfucker and that's how he finds himself crawling from under the dead alien.
When he comes back to his senses, Harry is already kneeling next to Tom, but Danny pushes him unceremoniously out of the way, checking pulse and bruises before grabbing Tom's face, wanting to see those brown eyes glint in the darkness.
"Come on, Dan, we need to leave!"
Danny is frozen on the spot, willing Tom to wake up with mumbles and caresses to his face, completely oblivious to Harry next to him, tugging on his sleeve.
"We can take care of him once we're out of this shithole, Danny! Come on!"
Tom's still breathing, his pulse is faint but steady, so Danny knows there's no risk of Tom just dying in their arms, but still, it's incredibly hard to move, to carry Tom out of the nest when mind and body-numbing panic is rushing through his veins as if it's his blood.
The way out is stressful but they cleaned up well enough that they don't meet a single Eord and they can keep on making sure Tom's breathing. The hardest part is walking through the heavy sand, each step harder than the one before as they make their way back to base. By the time they reach the less secure, but easier to access with the wounded entrance, Danny feels like he's lost all the water in his body, too busy trying to get Tom to drink a little to bother with drinking anything himself.
Tom is taken away from them as soon as they walk through, shocked gasps and terror writing itself on people's features at the sight of their seemingly lifeless leader.
Harry reaches out to Danny, sympathetic, because even if he doesn't talk about it, he knows very well that Tom and Danny's relationship goes further than comrades or friends. He had the same with Dougie.
"He'll be all right, mate."
Danny moves away from the touch, the frown over his features deep and hard.
"This was your idea. Don't - don't fucking touch me."
Harry looks shocked and then it dawns on him. Danny can't help himself, he has to blame someone, and Harry's right there, available to take it, probably willing to take it.
"Danny -"
"I - I don't really want to talk to you right now. I don't really want to talk to you any more."
Danny walks away to the medical bay, and doesn't look back.
**
Danny tries to contain the burst of relief that explodes through him when Tom wakes up in the medical bay, the two of them virtually alone for now, curtains drawn around Tom's bed.
Tom yawns, blinks, and then reaches out for Danny, fingers gripping Danny's tight, strength that belies his state right now, making Danny want to pull him back up on his feet.
"What happened? After I got knocked out, I mean."
"You disappeared a while. Don't know why they didn't - don't know why they didn't kill you, but we went in and found you. Brought you back."
The words are hard to get out, not exactly what Danny wants to say right now. He wants to yell at Tom for being so reckless, hate him a little for scaring him so much. His frown must show exactly what he thinks, though, because Tom smiles, runs his fingers over the creases over Danny's forehead.
"Now you know how it feels, huh."
"Don't say that as if it was just a test or something. You almost died, Tom."
"I'm fine. Just a bit bruised. My ego's bruised, too."
"Yeah, could care less about that."
"I think - I think I'm going to step down, Dan."
Danny raises his eyebrows, confused.
"You mean you don't wanna be our leader any more? When did you have time to think that? You've been out cold for hours."
"I've been thinking it for a while. This is just. Another incentive. I don't want people to freak out if I go on a mission. And I want to go on missions again. I'd rather die beside you than watch you die without me."
Danny cannot talk, completely taken aback, by the words and the decision, by how true they ring and how scary, yet comforting the thought is. He clenches his jaw, unable to find any words to fight Tom's. He's a damn good leader, but it's not Danny's choice.
"I'm thinking of putting Harry in my place."
Danny stiffens immediately, making Tom look at him with concern.
"What?"
"I - I can't deal with Harry right now. He put you here."
"That's exactly my point. After - Dougie, he's become heartless enough to make the right decision for the greater good and not just his own. I'm not."
Danny leans his cheek on Tom's hand, kissing his palm as he closes his eyes, listening to the unsaid words lingering in the air.
"Just get better. You'll decide later."
**
Tom gets better. He passes on the leadership to Harry, who's reluctant to take it at first, but in the end, it gives him back the sense of purpose he's lost since Dougie died. And Danny forgives him, more easily than he thought he would. It just takes moonshine and a short talk after Tom's all better.
Tom moves back to normal quarters, adjoining Danny's, and he goes back to being a little, almost nameless soldier. And Danny can see, every morning when they wake up next to each other - a blessing on its own - that Tom is happier this way.
Danny only tells him about his history, about the memories of red hair matted with blood, of frozen horror on his mother's face, of watching it all and being unable to act, on a night long after Tom's back into action. He cries - just a little - and Tom holds him through it, forgives him all his secrets and shames. Danny never thought he needed it until it was all said and done.
They fight side by side and it's not really easier but it works, they're a team more than two soldiers, one entity on the field, working together better than anybody else.
And when they get back to base, sometimes they fuck, sometimes they make love, but it's always intense, full of kisses and bites and hands, everywhere, gasps and moans buried into pillows and chests, deep and passionate and burning a fire inside them always, one that keeps them fighting.
It's not a secret any more, and they don't really care about that either, they're too deep into it to give a shit about showing their feelings in front of other people. It's too much and it's too hard; they would be fighting two wars at once and it sucks enough that they've got a single one to worry about.
Not that they make a big deal about it either. It's just the way it is, and no one would deny them the rare chance of love in the middle of a war for their world to be theirs again.
So they go on. They have as much hope as possible, and they fight and make love with the same kind of determination, the only kind they can hold on to, hope for a better world soon, a trace of their passage maybe.
And the day Danny falls, deep in an Eord nest, semi-automatic gun still gripped in between his hands, Tom falls too.
Title: Endless Sun
Author: ???
Rating: light R for a bit of gore and a little bit of sexy
Pairing: Flones
Word Count: 3683
Summary: in the middle of a war against invading aliens, you have to try and find something to hold on to, till the end. Tom's the leader of a community fighting for life in a world that doesn't know nights anymore.
A/N: Merry christmas Louise! You asked for something Starship Troopers like, I don't really know if that's anything like it, but it's got aliens and blood and Flones and guns so I hope you like it anyway and that I didn't majorly screw up!
"Mission aborted! Come back to base!"
The voice in Danny's earpiece is loud, crackling but leaving no room for misinterpretation. Still, Danny inhales a little air, hot and gritty, and inhales some dust along with it, sticking to his palate, before he starts talking.
"Tom, I'm almost -"
"I said mission aborted, Sergeant! You fucking listen to me and come back to base right now!"
Danny sighs, pushing himself off the floor, eyes all over the building in front of him, making sure he can't see any Eords anywhere. He won't pass up the opportunity to kill one of the fuckers.
"Fine, Lieutenant."
The tone he's using is a little acid, disappointed. He's never wanted to join the war, but after his home colony was invaded, he had little choice. And he'd learned how to sort-of enjoy it. Eords were nasty bastards, and they were the ones who'd started all this.
Danny makes his way back to base quickly but carefully, avoiding the known underground nests so that his footsteps don't alert the Eords. Gigantic looking insects with the same senses too, they can determine a human is running on the ground above them even if they are miles underground.
Danny cuts off his radio, his gun strapped to his back and his fingers digging into his palms, leaving tracks of dirt and pain in his frustration. He could do this, this mission. He could have done it, easy, clean job, but no, Tom had to pull the plug. Again. That's Tom all over; over-careful and overprotective.
Danny sighs again when he sees the entrance of the base in front of him, and he kicks the sand around the sealed tunnel door, punching in a code and then waiting for the retina scan to recognise him. Once the hatch is open, Danny makes his way down quickly, sliding down the ladder more than climbing down it. It's dark in here, always is, but Danny is so used to it he doesn't even bother with his night-goggles.
The smell and taste of sand and dirt is stuck to his mouth, hair and skin when he walks along the corridor of the living quarters, and he knows he should be making his way to the officers' meeting room for his debrief, but all he can think about is a hot shower and some food. He doesn't have time to dwell on the idea before he's faced with Harry, who wraps a hand around Danny's arm right away.
"Tom wants to see you."
"Go figure."
Harry's no messenger boy, so Tom must really be in a frenzy right now. Shower and food will have to wait. Danny deflates as Harry's grip loosens.
"Sorry, mate. He's in a state, think it's better for everyone if you go right away."
Danny nods, clapping his comrade and friend's shoulder as he passes him. Harry has been stuck underground for a few weeks now, an arm wound needing to heal before he can go back to the field. He's been going crazy down here, enjoying the feel of the dirty sun on his face more than he'd admit, especially after the whole Dougie thing.
They all have stories. Tom and his unwanted Messiah status, Harry and his love for a fallen comrade, Danny and his recurring nightmares. They all have them, so Danny knows better than to ask Harry how he's feeling most of the time. Pointless and probably a little dangerous.
"Catch you later, Jones."
"Yeah, sure. I got some moonshine."
"Cool. Calm him down, yeah?"
"I'll try my best."
Danny disappears around the corner, making his way to Tom's office, running a hand through his hair, shaking grains of sand away that fall onto his boots. The Eords have turned the whole planet into sandbox, turned the sun more aggressive, made it all the better for them to live and all the worse for humans. Danny doesn't know how, but he's seen it happen.
Danny walks inside Tom's quarters without even knocking, faced with the blonde, seeing his brown eyes flashing with a whole lot of emotions, not all of them Danny is willing to try and decipher.
"When I give you an order, Jones, I expect you to follow it! You don't have the privilege to talk back!"
"Even when I think you're wrong?"
"Especially then! Fuck, I am your commander. I can demote you and put you on fucking toilet duties if I want to, Danny!"
"I could have finished this."
"Lee saw three more Eords in that warehouse! You're good, but not that good. I don't need to lose you too."
The freshest memories of them all - Dougie had been like a brother to Tom, and his death was heavy on all their consciences. There's not a lot of them left as it is.
Danny looks down, rubbing his boots together. He hates having to apologise.
"Sorry, Tom. I was sure -"
"It's not your job. Just. Stop doing that, okay? You're making me lose credibility."
Tom probably has the biggest burden of them all. After seeing him take on to two Eords to save his family, the common citizens had taken it upon themselves to make him the leader of their small community, and who could say no to something like that, huh?
"I said sorry."
Tom's shoulders drop, and the fight in him is apparently gone, making Danny sigh in relief. He hates fighting with Tom. Luckily, it usually never lasts.
"Yeah. Okay. Are you hungry?"
"Starving, but I want a shower first."
Tom nods, and Danny bites his lip for a second, not quite sure what to do. In the end he just turns around and sets off.
"I'll see you in a bit then."
"Danny -"
Danny looks over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow, but Tom just buries his hands in his pockets, his face scrunched up a little.
"Nah, never mind."
Danny shrugs in answer, knowing that Tom is not going to say what's on his mind. Danny just heaves a sigh and leaves Tom's quarters, finding his way to his own quickly, avoiding people and looks.
He drops his heavy backpack on the ground when he reaches his room, groaning in relief as the pounds of food, water, ammo and radio touch the floor. His muscles are hurting, weary and tense, but as he leans down to untie his boots, as he kicks them off and starts on his clothes, he feels the weariness slowly disappear.
But there's nothing better than when he steps under the shower, the hot water making him groan again, with delight this time. The good thing about this constant harsh sun is that they cannot run out of hot water, and even if it's no comparison to the pain that it is to have no night any more, it's always a plus that Danny's willing to enjoy whenever he can.
He feels his muscles loosen, and he massages the pain away from his calves, moaning to himself as he contemplates a little wank before having to go back to the rest of the community.
He's about to bring his hand to his cock when the door of his bathroom opens, and he looks up, startled, brushing his hand over the fogged glass panel but there's no one there, because whoever walked in is now is in the shower with him, hands on his hips, keeping him from looking back. But Danny knows exactly who it is, and he relaxes into the touch, closing his eyes.
"I wanted to offer you to shower in my room but you know how it is around here."
"So you sneak into my room? Is that any better, Tom?"
Tom sighs against Danny's wet skin, lips kissing Danny's shoulder blade. Another secret, albeit a very badly guarded one, but one that they share, at least. Danny's never told how he watched his family die at the hands of Eords. He wouldn't, not to the man that killed two to save his mum and sister.
"Don't care. I was scared, this afternoon, Dan."
"I'm sorry, Tom, told you. I didn't mean to scare you. I just really thought I could take them one by one."
"Don't do it again. Call for backup."
"Okay. Can we stop talking now?"
Tom doesn't answer with words as Danny turns around, hands gripping Tom's hair, slick with water. He pushes it off Tom's forehead, their eyes meeting just before their lips do, Danny's eyes sliding closed as he opens his mouth to Tom's tongue, and there's definitely no need for words when Tom's hand reaches Danny's cock.
**
Another day, another intel mission, Danny's getting tired of them. Tom can be protective sometimes, but this is just taking it too far. Danny hasn't seen his rifle in almost two weeks and soon enough he'll have forgotten how to use it. And God, he's bored. He's doing basically nothing but sitting on his arse and waiting for an Eord to show up - they usually never do. It's all a tactic for him to be out of Tom's hair, but not in danger either. But it's been going on for too long, this punishment or prevention, or whatever it is. Danny needs to get back to the field, the real one, not deserted petrol stations and warehouses.
Tom doesn't understand - he probably never will because Danny refuses to talk about it - but Danny need this. He needs to be out there, to work out his revenge with tears and sweat and mostly that green goo that is the closest to what they can call blood when it comes to Eords. He needs to see them fall like he's seen his mother and sister fall, he needs to hear the inhuman growls of their last breath like he's heard his mother and sister cry and moan in pain. If they had it in them, Danny'd want to see them beg like he's seen his mother and sister do.
Tom wouldn't understand, because he was a hero where Danny was a coward. He didn't watch his family fall, cry, die. He fought for that not to happen, and now his family lived in the underground base, not happy, maybe, but - alive. Danny only has himself to blame.
That night, when Danny makes his way through the corridors as silently as he can, he pushes all those thoughts away until he's only thinking of one or two things when he knocks lightly on Tom's door, before sliding inside.
It's pretty much impossible that their secret still is one, but they still like to pretend. It's all gone so fast, from leader and soldier to friends, to drunken nights and fumbling on top of bedclothes, from relieving tension from time to time to a full-fledged relationship, complete with faithfulness and feelings, not that they've really talked about those.
"Hey."
Tom is nursing a glass of whiskey - rare - at his desk, and Danny walks to him, sitting himself on top of papers on the desk.
"Tom, I get what you're doing, but you need to stop. I'm not fragile, nor unstable. I'm not going to go and do something stupid and get myself killed if you put me back in the action. I mean, come on, Harry's seeing more of it than I am!"
Tom looks down at his drink, amber swirling around the glass. He doesn't even look guilty.
"You understand why I do it, really? I'm not so sure."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean - I mean my need to protect you - to protect us - is so fucking overwhelming I can't see past it, Danny. And fuck it if that makes me a bad leader. I just. Can't lose you."
Danny takes a deep breath, letting himself slide off the desk, onto Tom's lap. His fingers run through the silky blonde hair, marvelling for a second at how soft it is, before he looks down into Tom's eyes.
"I'm afraid you might lose me if you don't let me go back, Tom. I need this. I need it - as much as I need you. I'll be careful, okay? And I promise I'll never leave again without a MediKit. Please, Tom."
They've rarely been this honest and open with one another, it feels a little bit foreign but right at the same time. Tom just sighs in answer, his arms circling Danny's waist and holding him close.
"Fine. But I'll kick your arse myself if you're not careful out there."
Danny grins, leaning down to kiss Tom, nothing soft here.
"Deal."
**
When Danny finds himself with an eight-feet-tall Eord, his finger trembles on the trigger of his gun, as always, but he's got better things to do than to freeze up in fear now. He's got a clean shot, so he goes for it, the bullet going straight between the insect-like eyes, green goo and brains exploding all over him, before he finds himself thrown to the ground, the weight of the alien he just killed pushing him down as it falls on top of him. Danny sputters and coughs out dirt and God-knows-what's of the Alien, crawling from underneath it and staying on his knees for a minute, heaving and spitting out blood and sand.
This mission was a stupid idea, from the very beginning. Tom leading it was even more stupid, but Danny went with it, even if Tom hasn't gone on a mission in ages. The whole idea was too ambitious and a little bit crazy, but Danny found no argument to fight it, Tom way too into it from the moment Harry talked about it.
So they took a battalion to the closest Eord nest they knew the location of, thinking the element of surprise and a lot of smoke bombs will get them inside.
But that was without counting the smarts of those aliens. And then Tom was nowhere to be found, and Danny was shaking with fury and fear. If they'd done anything to him...
So Danny made his way through, men following him, blinded with rage and thirst for blood. He fought Eords and his men alike, forcing them to go back to the base, and in the end they all did, but for Harry, who followed him in the underground maze, getting darker and darker, oppressive and claustrophobic, until they found him.
Tom's unconscious and looking battered when they find him, and Danny just runs, doesn't think. Until there's an Eord in front of him and he doesn't even think. He blasts the motherfucker and that's how he finds himself crawling from under the dead alien.
When he comes back to his senses, Harry is already kneeling next to Tom, but Danny pushes him unceremoniously out of the way, checking pulse and bruises before grabbing Tom's face, wanting to see those brown eyes glint in the darkness.
"Come on, Dan, we need to leave!"
Danny is frozen on the spot, willing Tom to wake up with mumbles and caresses to his face, completely oblivious to Harry next to him, tugging on his sleeve.
"We can take care of him once we're out of this shithole, Danny! Come on!"
Tom's still breathing, his pulse is faint but steady, so Danny knows there's no risk of Tom just dying in their arms, but still, it's incredibly hard to move, to carry Tom out of the nest when mind and body-numbing panic is rushing through his veins as if it's his blood.
The way out is stressful but they cleaned up well enough that they don't meet a single Eord and they can keep on making sure Tom's breathing. The hardest part is walking through the heavy sand, each step harder than the one before as they make their way back to base. By the time they reach the less secure, but easier to access with the wounded entrance, Danny feels like he's lost all the water in his body, too busy trying to get Tom to drink a little to bother with drinking anything himself.
Tom is taken away from them as soon as they walk through, shocked gasps and terror writing itself on people's features at the sight of their seemingly lifeless leader.
Harry reaches out to Danny, sympathetic, because even if he doesn't talk about it, he knows very well that Tom and Danny's relationship goes further than comrades or friends. He had the same with Dougie.
"He'll be all right, mate."
Danny moves away from the touch, the frown over his features deep and hard.
"This was your idea. Don't - don't fucking touch me."
Harry looks shocked and then it dawns on him. Danny can't help himself, he has to blame someone, and Harry's right there, available to take it, probably willing to take it.
"Danny -"
"I - I don't really want to talk to you right now. I don't really want to talk to you any more."
Danny walks away to the medical bay, and doesn't look back.
**
Danny tries to contain the burst of relief that explodes through him when Tom wakes up in the medical bay, the two of them virtually alone for now, curtains drawn around Tom's bed.
Tom yawns, blinks, and then reaches out for Danny, fingers gripping Danny's tight, strength that belies his state right now, making Danny want to pull him back up on his feet.
"What happened? After I got knocked out, I mean."
"You disappeared a while. Don't know why they didn't - don't know why they didn't kill you, but we went in and found you. Brought you back."
The words are hard to get out, not exactly what Danny wants to say right now. He wants to yell at Tom for being so reckless, hate him a little for scaring him so much. His frown must show exactly what he thinks, though, because Tom smiles, runs his fingers over the creases over Danny's forehead.
"Now you know how it feels, huh."
"Don't say that as if it was just a test or something. You almost died, Tom."
"I'm fine. Just a bit bruised. My ego's bruised, too."
"Yeah, could care less about that."
"I think - I think I'm going to step down, Dan."
Danny raises his eyebrows, confused.
"You mean you don't wanna be our leader any more? When did you have time to think that? You've been out cold for hours."
"I've been thinking it for a while. This is just. Another incentive. I don't want people to freak out if I go on a mission. And I want to go on missions again. I'd rather die beside you than watch you die without me."
Danny cannot talk, completely taken aback, by the words and the decision, by how true they ring and how scary, yet comforting the thought is. He clenches his jaw, unable to find any words to fight Tom's. He's a damn good leader, but it's not Danny's choice.
"I'm thinking of putting Harry in my place."
Danny stiffens immediately, making Tom look at him with concern.
"What?"
"I - I can't deal with Harry right now. He put you here."
"That's exactly my point. After - Dougie, he's become heartless enough to make the right decision for the greater good and not just his own. I'm not."
Danny leans his cheek on Tom's hand, kissing his palm as he closes his eyes, listening to the unsaid words lingering in the air.
"Just get better. You'll decide later."
**
Tom gets better. He passes on the leadership to Harry, who's reluctant to take it at first, but in the end, it gives him back the sense of purpose he's lost since Dougie died. And Danny forgives him, more easily than he thought he would. It just takes moonshine and a short talk after Tom's all better.
Tom moves back to normal quarters, adjoining Danny's, and he goes back to being a little, almost nameless soldier. And Danny can see, every morning when they wake up next to each other - a blessing on its own - that Tom is happier this way.
Danny only tells him about his history, about the memories of red hair matted with blood, of frozen horror on his mother's face, of watching it all and being unable to act, on a night long after Tom's back into action. He cries - just a little - and Tom holds him through it, forgives him all his secrets and shames. Danny never thought he needed it until it was all said and done.
They fight side by side and it's not really easier but it works, they're a team more than two soldiers, one entity on the field, working together better than anybody else.
And when they get back to base, sometimes they fuck, sometimes they make love, but it's always intense, full of kisses and bites and hands, everywhere, gasps and moans buried into pillows and chests, deep and passionate and burning a fire inside them always, one that keeps them fighting.
It's not a secret any more, and they don't really care about that either, they're too deep into it to give a shit about showing their feelings in front of other people. It's too much and it's too hard; they would be fighting two wars at once and it sucks enough that they've got a single one to worry about.
Not that they make a big deal about it either. It's just the way it is, and no one would deny them the rare chance of love in the middle of a war for their world to be theirs again.
So they go on. They have as much hope as possible, and they fight and make love with the same kind of determination, the only kind they can hold on to, hope for a better world soon, a trace of their passage maybe.
And the day Danny falls, deep in an Eord nest, semi-automatic gun still gripped in between his hands, Tom falls too.