So I became lifeless just like my telephone.
Tonight I'm not feeling so great so I decided to write. I wrote about panic disorder thought I don't have it. Well, something LIKE it but I think it's not the same. So...
I feel it again, how walls are falling over me. Those walls are gonna crash me. Anxiety attacks into my mind and takes me away from reality. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm gonna throw up. And even more it feels like I'm gonna die. I'm a prisoner in my own head. I'm shaking like never before and tears are falling to my cheeks. I just lay in my bed when all thoughts take over in my mind. I'm afraid. Of life. Of dead. And of panic attacks. Feels like there has been build a huge unbreakable wall between me and happiness. I want to find a way out. Escape all these bad things but I don't know where to look for. I let tears fall into my cheeks, my body shake and my thoughts eat me alive. This is gonna end sooner or later. Just to get back again some time. Finally I can get up from my bed and I walk straight to my closet. From my sock box I take cigarettes and booze. The best medicine to my mind is to make it apathetic.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.
I feel it again, how walls are falling over me. Those walls are gonna crash me. Anxiety attacks into my mind and takes me away from reality. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm gonna throw up. And even more it feels like I'm gonna die. I'm a prisoner in my own head. I'm shaking like never before and tears are falling to my cheeks. I just lay in my bed when all thoughts take over in my mind. I'm afraid. Of life. Of dead. And of panic attacks. Feels like there has been build a huge unbreakable wall between me and happiness. I want to find a way out. Escape all these bad things but I don't know where to look for. I let tears fall into my cheeks, my body shake and my thoughts eat me alive. This is gonna end sooner or later. Just to get back again some time. Finally I can get up from my bed and I walk straight to my closet. From my sock box I take cigarettes and booze. The best medicine to my mind is to make it apathetic.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.