(no subject)
I am officially done with high school. Forever. And already I miss it. I miss cutting class, cheap high school food, and silly school dances. I'm not ready to live on my own. I'm not ready to pay my own rent and bills and tutition. I'm just not ready. But it's time whether I'm ready or not, and I don't want to graduate. Let me have another senior year. Let me have the chance to run through the halls avoiding silly stupid pranks. Let me not grow up. Becuase that is what this is really about. The time to grow up. I don't want to grow up. I'm not ready. I don't want to be ready. I want to be a kid forever. Forever. And ever. I'm not ready. I don't want to grow up.
But I have to.
And I'm realizing this now. And everything is hitting me at once, and I am a wreck. And I am alone. And I wish I could turn back time. I wish I could undue all the stupid things I've done. I wish I could go back to high school. I wish I never got involved with drugs. I wish I treated my friends better. I wish I wish I wish.
That's all they are, are wishes.
I can't go back in time, and I can't undue what I've done, so I've just got to deal with what I've got. And I'm so happy and proud of what I have. I have friends who I don't deserve to have, a steady job, an apparment, a high school diploma, and most importantly, lessons learned. I have made many mistakes in my life, and I have learned from them. Each and every one of them. Believe me or not, but I have. I've traveled a long hard road, and there's more to come, but I'm proud of where I've been, and look forward to where I am going. I love you all, I'm going to miss you so much.
I love you.
But I have to.
And I'm realizing this now. And everything is hitting me at once, and I am a wreck. And I am alone. And I wish I could turn back time. I wish I could undue all the stupid things I've done. I wish I could go back to high school. I wish I never got involved with drugs. I wish I treated my friends better. I wish I wish I wish.
That's all they are, are wishes.
I can't go back in time, and I can't undue what I've done, so I've just got to deal with what I've got. And I'm so happy and proud of what I have. I have friends who I don't deserve to have, a steady job, an apparment, a high school diploma, and most importantly, lessons learned. I have made many mistakes in my life, and I have learned from them. Each and every one of them. Believe me or not, but I have. I've traveled a long hard road, and there's more to come, but I'm proud of where I've been, and look forward to where I am going. I love you all, I'm going to miss you so much.
I love you.