Im Bisexual, i have NEVER been straight, not for a second. When i was a LOT younger i didnt like boys or girls and thought i was pretty a-sexual. When i got to about year 5 (aged from about 10), in an..almost pervy sense, i found myself looking at girls when they got changed from P.E, or wondering about 'lady parts'. I didnt act on this until i was 12, and had a friend from school who was in the same situation. We both did things together that may or may not have been classed as 'sexual' but it confirmed to me that i liked girls. But i most certainly did not have control over my own sexual feelings.
I didnt have full on sex with a girl until January of this year, even if before, for the past 5-6 years, i have had odd things with girls involving kissing or touching, id never gone the whole way, not due to not wanting to, but due to not having been given the opportunity. My first proper boyfriend was in 2003, before i turned 16, and i had a 'boyfriend' in little school around the time i found to be liking girls.
I did not choose to be Bisexual. I chose to put a label on my sexuality, yes, after a while i realised that i did opt for both sex's. But i did not force myself to want same sex situations.
Your comment saying "there's statistic that prove if women have a history of abuse by the opposite gender, such as a father, brother, neighbor, or boy friend, they end up lesbian because it's psychological ingrained in their minds that relationships with other guys are painful." Was complete bullshit, and offended me.
For a start, statistics are shit.
Has someone ever come up to you, or your friends, and asked you questions to put on these lists of numbers and figures, to say that you are part of a statistic? Just like smoking companies say that blahblah% of people in the UK smoke... How do they know i smoke? They've never asked me.
I had an EMOTIONALLY abusive childhood. My parents had split up my father pretty much abandoned me and started saying some harsh things to me and ruining everything in my life that i had built for myself. This is from the age of 13, AFTER i had realised there was feelings there for same sex relations. I wont go into detail but im still suffering for all of that now, my father is still emotionally abusing me, and i think he has ruined the past 6 years of my life thus far. But ive just had a steady and stable 2 year relationship, and yeah, i do find it slightly hard to trust a guy from time to time, but im the same towards girls, and i dissagree that saying one persons actions lead towards changing sexualities.
Sorry if any of this offended you, but i think everything you said in your comment was completely stupid. And i refuse to hide behind 'Anonymous' either. In fact im going to post both of our comments on my journal and see if anyone on my FL would like to make their opinions heard. If you get the balls to log into your account and join us on this quest to finding a reaosnable answer to this mystery. Then feel free to do so, as i'll make the entry public.
I apologise to MCRsecrets for going totally off topic, but what she said bugged me to hellandback.
First off, you never stated anything about sexual harassment, so just because you were emotionally hurt by your dad...that happens to the most of us, and that doesn't qualify you to even be in the same category as the people who have been raped repeatedly by their own fathers or stepfathers or cousins or middle-aged neighbors, etc. These people have been assaulted to the point that they feel they can't trust men or expect them to understand what they've gone through and how to help them overcome that trauma. Furthermore, I know no one likes statistics or being a statistic, but saying "oh I know or heard of a paticular person who has been ...." doesn't actually have any professional or universal proofs to it. As for your sexual history, it doesn't prove any of what I said wrong. In fact, if anything it mostly just proved it right. First off, I never said that people were born straight. Check back: I said people are not born with any particular sexuality. Labels are created by people. And you basically just said both of those in your little bio. Curiousity is a natural part of childhood, and wondering about other classmates' body parts is something that happens to anyone and everyone. The only ones who will refuse to have any form of curiousity or attraction to the same sex or deny that they have ever had any curiousity are the ones who are homophobic. And it's completely natural for girls to also have curiousity about guys. I'm sure there are no lesbians out there who will say that they never wondered about guys or found a guy to be physically attractive. I'm sure this is cliche and has been said 5523437534 times already, but I'll say it anyways: labelling yourself as a particular sexuality is just a way of conforming to a particular group of people. No one is 100% gay or 100% straight. But the fact that people call themselves by a particular name that implies that they are attracted to only one gender or both means that they have to continually have to keep up with that statement in order for it to be acurate. And what happens if a straight person finds themselves starting to like someone or find someone attractive that's of the same sex? They either start to question their own label of "heterosexuality", or the quickly ignore this attraction and do away with the idea of themselves possibly finding a person of the same sex compatible. Therefore, it is possible to adjust your sexuality to fit your own basis and label. I tried to be as uncatty as possible, and I respect your opinions and your lifestyle. However, I'm remaining anonymous particularly because I choose to be, and because I started off this debate as such.
When i was a LOT younger i didnt like boys or girls and thought i was pretty a-sexual.
When i got to about year 5 (aged from about 10), in an..almost pervy sense, i found myself looking at girls when they got changed from P.E, or wondering about 'lady parts'.
I didnt act on this until i was 12, and had a friend from school who was in the same situation. We both did things together that may or may not have been classed as 'sexual' but it confirmed to me that i liked girls.
But i most certainly did not have control over my own sexual feelings.
I didnt have full on sex with a girl until January of this year, even if before, for the past 5-6 years, i have had odd things with girls involving kissing or touching, id never gone the whole way, not due to not wanting to, but due to not having been given the opportunity.
My first proper boyfriend was in 2003, before i turned 16, and i had a 'boyfriend' in little school around the time i found to be liking girls.
I did not choose to be Bisexual.
I chose to put a label on my sexuality, yes, after a while i realised that i did opt for both sex's. But i did not force myself to want same sex situations.
Your comment saying "there's statistic that prove if women have a history of abuse by the opposite gender, such as a father, brother, neighbor, or boy friend, they end up lesbian because it's psychological ingrained in their minds that relationships with other guys are painful."
Was complete bullshit, and offended me.
For a start, statistics are shit.
Has someone ever come up to you, or your friends, and asked you questions to put on these lists of numbers and figures, to say that you are part of a statistic?
Just like smoking companies say that blahblah% of people in the UK smoke...
How do they know i smoke? They've never asked me.
I had an EMOTIONALLY abusive childhood.
My parents had split up my father pretty much abandoned me and started saying some harsh things to me and ruining everything in my life that i had built for myself. This is from the age of 13, AFTER i had realised there was feelings there for same sex relations. I wont go into detail but im still suffering for all of that now, my father is still emotionally abusing me, and i think he has ruined the past 6 years of my life thus far.
But ive just had a steady and stable 2 year relationship, and yeah, i do find it slightly hard to trust a guy from time to time, but im the same towards girls, and i dissagree that saying one persons actions lead towards changing sexualities.
Sorry if any of this offended you, but i think everything you said in your comment was completely stupid. And i refuse to hide behind 'Anonymous' either.
In fact im going to post both of our comments on my journal and see if anyone on my FL would like to make their opinions heard.
If you get the balls to log into your account and join us on this quest to finding a reaosnable answer to this mystery. Then feel free to do so, as i'll make the entry public.
I apologise to MCRsecrets for going totally off topic, but what she said bugged me to hellandback.
XMazX
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As for your sexual history, it doesn't prove any of what I said wrong. In fact, if anything it mostly just proved it right.
First off, I never said that people were born straight. Check back: I said people are not born with any particular sexuality. Labels are created by people. And you basically just said both of those in your little bio. Curiousity is a natural part of childhood, and wondering about other classmates' body parts is something that happens to anyone and everyone. The only ones who will refuse to have any form of curiousity or attraction to the same sex or deny that they have ever had any curiousity are the ones who are homophobic.
And it's completely natural for girls to also have curiousity about guys. I'm sure there are no lesbians out there who will say that they never wondered about guys or found a guy to be physically attractive.
I'm sure this is cliche and has been said 5523437534 times already, but I'll say it anyways: labelling yourself as a particular sexuality is just a way of conforming to a particular group of people. No one is 100% gay or 100% straight. But the fact that people call themselves by a particular name that implies that they are attracted to only one gender or both means that they have to continually have to keep up with that statement in order for it to be acurate. And what happens if a straight person finds themselves starting to like someone or find someone attractive that's of the same sex? They either start to question their own label of "heterosexuality", or the quickly ignore this attraction and do away with the idea of themselves possibly finding a person of the same sex compatible. Therefore, it is possible to adjust your sexuality to fit your own basis and label.
I tried to be as uncatty as possible, and I respect your opinions and your lifestyle. However, I'm remaining anonymous particularly because I choose to be, and because I started off this debate as such.
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