My first fanfiction about Die Ärzte!
Kirjottelin tässä innostuksissani fanfictionin Die Ärztestä, Saksalaisesta punkrockbändistä, josta oon tässä tykänny päälle vuoden. En nyt muista ollenkaa, oonko täällä siitä ees sanonu mitää koskaan... Anyways, ficci on englanniks, koska Suomesta ei pahemmin löyvy DÄ-faneja, ja uskosin saavani enemmä lukijoita jos kirjotan tän englanniks (jos nyt tätä lukee kukaa ees :D). Laitan tän postauksen siitä syystä julkiseks... Mutta, selittelyt sikseen (vaa seuraavaks in English :D).
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Hello, there is my first fanficion about Die Ärzte! The story is in English. Feel free to read and comment!
But I have to warn you: this is COMPLETELY SLASH (but no sexual themes, i donät write things like that), so don't like, don't read! Pairing is Bela/Farin, which is my OTP ;)
It's not very long, but not very short too.
This is also mine first fanfiction in English ever (my other fanfics [about My Chemical Romance] are in Finnish), so I'm not sure is the header going right, but... now, to the story itself!
AND I AM TRYING TO FIND WHERE YOU CAN READ THIS AS ON WHITE BACKGROUND!
Title: Beer And Milk
Author: Aada (MCRmadness)
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Die Ärzte
Pairing: Bela/Farin
Genre: Fluff!!!
Warnings: Well, everything I can say is, that if you don’t like to think two men together (but no sexual themes in this), then this is not for you! In places this can also be veeery cliché.
Disclaimer: The persons own themselves, I don’t own them nor Die Ärzte. Also the songs I’ve used in this are owned by Die Ärzte, and I don’t say thes are true what I have written. All this is just my imagination, except little real things like hairs etc.
Feedback: Love it! I enjoy also critic!
Summary: “We kicked Sahnie out of the baa-and!”
A/N: I have known Die Ärzte for about a year now. Little bit later I found there is also pairing in DÄ: Bela/Farin, and I have been always HUGE fan of different male pairings, so I fell in love with this one too. Right now B/F is my fave pairing and also OTP. There is everything in my head about these two, and then I thought "Why wouldn't I write these on paper and make a fanfic?", and there it is: my first fanfic about them! Sometimes I just felt big need of Bela/Farin or get weird feeling that I needed some cute, then I just could continue writing this. I love to write, and when there is one of fave pairing to write, hooray! :)
BTW, the reason for this story being in English is, that I'm from Finland and can't speak German (but I'm studying on my own, so there is some little things in German too!)!
~BEER AND MILK~
1. I’m so happy
Bela’s PoV
I just got phonecall. From Jan. He is the guitaris of my, or actually our, band called Die Ärzte. Most of people maybe recognize him better as Farin Urlaub, what means “going on holiday”, because he just loves travelling.
I walked the street, I was hurry. I had to get to our flat. Our flat? Well, we both, me and Jan, lived in a flat. It’s better to our band, and it saves money too! And I can be with my best friend all the time! A dream come true, I might say.
I wanted to, no, I needed to see him so bad! Finally I was at the door of the building where our flat is, I didn’t even realize if there was any of our neighbourhoods in stairways, I just needed to get in our flat!
My hands shook when I searched my keys, opened the door and let it to get shut behind me, while I almost ran straight to Jan’s room. I forgot to knock, he stood on the floor, his white guitar hanging from his neck. I must have been looking like big, black spot. He looked curious, ready to ask why I was there, why I didn’t knock what I usually do, but he didn’t have a time to ask anything. Before he realized, my lips were against his.
“Oh I’m so happy now! Danke danke danke Jan Vetter ich liebe dich!”, I almost danced on the floor. A grin got on his face when he asked: “What? You look like I would have just proposed you.”
“Will you?”, I asked my eyes shining. He laughed: “No.”
Then he got serious, and looked me in the eyes: “But what it is? What brings you here like... that?”, and he touched his lip with his index finger, maybe not noticing that at all by himself. I looked at him like my ears would have been lying, he just called me about it!
“We kicked Sahnie out of the band!”, I shouted and danced little bit more. “We kicked Sahnie out of the baa-aand, we kicked Sahnie out of the baa-and, we kicked Sahnie out of the baa-and! Hooray hooray hooray!”
Jan did nothing but laughed at me. He’s so sweet, and that’s why he is my best friend. I smiled back to him.
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2. Just Bela and Farin
“Bela, get up! We have to leave soon!”, I heard the voice behind my room’s door. Oh yeah, I remembered this was the day we have an interview, for a long time. I spoke yesterday with Jan, I’m not sure do we say today about Sahnie thing. Actually I would like to our fans to know that idiot is not with us anymore, but Jan...
“Bela we are gonna be late!”
“Just a minute, I wanna sleep some time more!”, I mumbled back. Outside of the blanket is so cold.
“No, I’m serious! Why didn’t you go to bed earlier if you are so tired now?”, he opened the door, only his head with blond hair done up showing behind it.
“Don’t be like you would be my mom, you are not.”
“Soon I have to if you don’t wake up”, he looked at me with very serious face. I show my middle finger to him and went better to under the blanket.
“Oh god, where would you be if I wasn’t here?”, he walked in my room. “Now, get up! I’m ready to go and you are still in your bed.”
“Nein nein nein! What’s the time?”, I asked.
“It’s too much”, was his answer.
“Ha-ha-ha, very funny”, I pretended to laugh. “Really?”
“Really, it is so much too much! You know I don’t want to be late!”, I saw he really started to be frustrated. But he’s also so damn cute when he is angry. I smiled to him and told what I thought: “Did you know you are cute when you are angry?”
“Whatever”, he sighed, and tried the second method: taking my blanket away.
“Nein, Jan! I am naked!”, I yelled and started to fight of my dear blanket.
“I know you if you don’t remember, and you don’t usually sleep naked.” Yeah, he reeally starts to be frustrated. I can be so annoying, can’t I? “You seem to be very awake, so why don’t just get up?”
He gave up the blanket for me, and I decided it was enough. I woke up, but just to sit on the bed.
“Dress quickly so we can go. Otherwise I go there and you can come after me, I don’t care which with, it’s your problem then”, he said and walked out of my room, closing the door.
At least now I could check the time. I took my clock from the floor, and it said 11.36. We have our interview beyond the city in about a hour. My body wanted me to lay back to bed, but if I fell asleep... Jan would be really mad at me and this time it wouldn’t be anything like that little thing you just saw. Then it would be a Third World War.
I stood up, searched my clothes over the room and walked out to get something to eat. At the same time in toilet, when I ate some bread and drank beer I did my hair to look like there would have been a bomb on my head. I heard Jan in his room, playing guitar.
“Aaaaand there it is!”, I shouted and blinked to myself via mirror. I put some kohl too. “You look so good, you handsome.”
“Yeah, you really do”, I heard sarcastic voice behind me.
“Oh hello! I didn’t realize when you came there”, I turned over and smiled sarcastically back to Jan. He leant against the door frame and looked at me with his mysterious face what he uses very often. You know, no smile but eyes staring very intensively looking like he would be thinking something so hard.
I took my bottle of beer and walked very close of him, flirting to him.
“I hope you wouldn’t do that”, he said behind me.
“Why? I know you like it”, I answered, putting my boots on. He didn’t say anything.
“Do you know what?”, I turned over. He mumbled just “Mmh?”
“I’m so happy Sahnie is not with us anymore.”
Jan laughed at me. He always laughs at me! But when he stoped laughing, he still smiled, and I saw that deep smile showing from deep of his brown-green eyes. He was happy too.
“But c’mon, we have to go now or we are gonna be late”, he twisted his arm around me. “But don’t think I’ve forgotten what you did this morning.”
We walked together out of the front door, talking about everything like then before. Before Sahnie. Now it was again just me and Jan. Just Bela and Jan. Just Bela and Farin.
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3. Für immer
“Hi Jan. Or Farin. Whatever! I’m home!”, I walked in of the front door and quickly looked from mirror what I’m looking like.
“Where you - WHAT?”, he walked around the corner and stoped like he would have walked through a wall. “What the hell you have done with your hair?!” His eyes were like two huge bowls.
“Do you like it?”, I spinned around. My hair was still black, ofcourse, but not so long. And there was one blond stripe.
“It fits you... I should cut my hair too”, he said, looking like he would have been speaking mostly for himself. “Whadda ya think?”, he moved his eyes to me.
“No, don’t! Then I couldn’t do this!”, I jumped over him and tried to mess his hair with my hand.
“No, Bela, stop it!”, he laughed. We both laughed.
“But your hair feels so nice! It’s so soft!”, I was behind him and almost hanged from his neck with my another arm, when another one was in his hair. But he had always been better “wrestler” than me, and this time too. Somehow he got me away from his back and got both my hands. I was unarmed.
“But let me feel your lips, I bet they are softer than my hair”, and then he kissed me. I didn’t do anything against it. But answered to it. Our lips were dancing, like they should never be seperated again. Two parts of puzzle, found themselves. Then he freed his lips from mine: “Oh and yeah, your hair is nice. I like it.”
He looked me in the eyes, smiling to me, then he left me in the hallway and walked in his room closing the door.
He’s weird. But that’s why I like him.
---
Next morning, I sat at our dining table. I had a green bottle of beer as my friend when I read yesterday’s newspaper. The newpaper was little bit suffered. I think it had been on the floor and someone had walked over it, and I think that someone was Farin. Infering the huge footprint over it. Something wet was also fell over it, maybe water, maybe beer, or maybe milk. Who knows.
Table was next to big window. The room was little, and there was a door to another room, where we preserved our guitars. Well, Farin had his fave guitars in his room, but anyway. The door to kitchen was opposite the table, and kitchen cabinets were on both sides of small kitchen, so this is pretty narrow room. Walls were screemin’ yellow.
I opened my second bottle of beer. From window I saw police car driving outside on a road.
“Oh hi”, Jan stepped in the room and yawned. “Isn’t it pretty early to ya being awake?”
“Maybe”, I said slowly my eyes still in the paper. He took carton of milk from a fridge and sat on another side of the table, beside me. I felt he was staring at me, after little silence he started to talk again: “Is there something interesting?” And he moved his eyes to paper.
“Nothing special”, I said, with voice what told me being still little bit in my thoughts. “I’m just reading the comic part.”
“Oh, I see”, he said like something big thing would have just been solved to him. “I see.”
I took a sup from my beer and closed the rumpled, yellowish paper. He drank almost half of his milk, and took now the paper. I opened third bottle of beer, and it stole the Farin’s attention from paper. “Bela.”
“Yes my darling”, I answered and took again once sup more. He rolled his eyes: “You drink too much beer.”
“You think I’m sleeping too much and now that I’m also drinking too much. Am I doing every things too much? Soon you say I’m also kissing you too much.”
He looked at me with his sweet look in his eyes. “No, you kiss me just enough.”
I pouted my mouth, “Enough? So you don’t think I kiss you too few?”
He laughed and smiled to me, “Oh that was what you waited for. Well, do YOU think I kiss you too few?”
“Maybe”, I changed my flirting mood on. He changed his posture on the bench.
“Well, we have to fix it then”, he started to flirt too. I stared to his eyes: “Enough is when I can breath from your lungs.”
“But Bela, then oxygen stops and we’re gonna die”, he looked at me with his puppy face.
“At least I would die happy”, I grinned.
Then, happened something. I just couldn’t handle it. I had to run around the table. I had to sit next to him and put my arms around him and press my head against his chest. I could feel he was surprised, his body tensed.
After a little silence, his voice filled the air. He looked at the ceiling “What do you think, what we should think about... you know, us?”
“What do you mean?”, I mumbled against him chest. He smelled so damn good that I could have drooled right there.
“Well... we are friends - “
“Best of them, yes.”
“- but what we are doing now -“
“Hugging, oh yeah, huggin’ huggin’ huggin’ so damn tight.”
“-usually people who are in relationship -“
“By the way, don’t wonder if you find something wet from your shirt. It’s just my drool.”
“- do kind of things like this.”
“Are you trying to say you love me? Well, you know pretty well that I love you.”
“Bela -“
“Don’t worry, you can say it. Let it out! You’ll feel so much freer then!”
“Bela, I’m not kidding...“
“So aren’t I.”
He teared me away from himself, grabbin still my shoulders.
“Ouch, that hurts, Farin”, he had very tight grasp, but when I looked on his face, he looked so uneasy. My being-cute mood changed now to real worry. “What is it?”
“Did you hear anything I just said?”, he asked, and his anxiety was so real that it would have been taken on the hands.
“Yes, I did. But... you were serious?”, I asked. He nodded. I went little bit further away from him, and he also let his hands fall on his lap. “Hmm. I don’t know. Maybe... maybe we should think it more?” I said carefully. I didn’t want to hurt him, I saw this was big thing for him. I just don’t know why, for me he has always been my best friend (and that little crush) whose I have always loved to play around with. Why he was now so freaking serious and distressed? Wasn’t it only play and fun anymore? Had it grow bigger to him? The answer for these I could get only by asking him.
“I agree...”, he looked the table.
“But?”, I raised my eyebrow.
“Uh, I don’t know”, he looked back to me. “I really need to think this.”
“Do you know, well, what do you want by yourself?”, I asked. I could really live his feelings right now.
“That is the problem: In a way I know but in an another way I do not know”, he spoke again to the table. It thud against me, thud like a big, big maul. He knows but doesn’t? What the hell is in his mind? Now it started to be my turn to be worried. What the hell is he thinking about?
“Excuse me, Bela, I need to think this alone”, he said. I realized I was on his way, and I moved away. Before he got away, I grabbed his left arm: “Wait...”
I hugged him so tightly, I was happy that he hugged me back. I would have kissed him too, but I thought it didn’t fit in this situation. He showed me little smile before disappearing the kitchen’s doorway.
“Fuck!”, I yelled and slammed that fucking paper on the floor. If have dared, I would have threw that bottle against the wall too. I let few f-words more from my mouth. I don’t really know why I did it. I just did. Maybe it was my own way to clear my toughts... I took few beers more from the fridge. Bela, you drink too much beer, his voice resounded in my head.
“Oh fuck you”, I said aloud and walked in my room, again slamming the door. Even Dracula didn’t feel anything with this mood. Usually I liked to watch it over and over again, but now, it did feel nothing. I stopped the movie and laid on my sofa, letting some f-words out again. They were so much that they would have founded an own country.
Bela, you drink too much beer.
“Oh shut up!”, I yelled. I opened again one bottle of beer, I didn’t even remember how much I had drunk so long. I cursed, listened to music, played little bit guitar and drank little bit more beer. In some moment I did fall asleep, and my dreams were not nice...
---
In the morning I woke up from my sofa. Or actually it is black mix of sofa and bed. Anyway, it is where I woke up. There were empty bottles on the floor, and I remember me just cursing all the time. When I got up to sit, one awful and huge twinge went trough my head. Hang over, great, just great. I tried to remember what I did yesterday, I remember I was talking with Jan in the kitchen. I hadn’t drunk very much, I think, but still I can’t remember anything than it was something very dark what we were talking about. Somehow I could smell the smell of Farin in my nose, and I felt little warm feeling visiting me with small smile. Was I close to him? I think so.
Looking more around my room, I saw my TV was on, and there was case of Dracula VHS on it. Ookay, I did watch Dracula too? Interesting. I had fallen asleep my clothes on... not again these mornings! Everytime I said to myself I don’t drink so much anymore, but just always I do that again! I stood up, stretched and walked out of the room, straight in the toilet. I felt warm feeling in my stomach, first I tought what it could be, but then I realized it! Luckily I was in toilet so I could throw up into the toilet seat... oh my head. I didn’t manage to stood up, so I stayed on the floor sitting for a while after I had flushed the toilet.
“Hey, I heard some voice from here...”, I heard small voice above me. Farin was there, standing next to the open door, and looking at me worried.
“Yeah. Voice of damn throwing up!”, I said and lowered my voice after my head informed about its existence.
“Hangover?”, he asked with little shade of well-what-did-I-say in his voice.
“Hell yeah. Does it look something else?”, I answered, I started to be pissed off because my hang over. It usually did me angry.
“Well, if your head wouldn’t hurt, I might say...”, he turned his thinking looking face to wall, and then looked back to me “pregnancy.”
“Oh, thanks a lot”, I fluttered my head. “Guess who would be the dad?”
“Don’t look at me!”, he brought his palms in front of him. “I haven’t been with you!”
“Oh, right”, I bent over the toilet again, the next vomit could be on its way.
All playful had disappeared from farin’s voice, when he said behind me: “I said you drink too much beer.”
Then it came to my mind. Bela, you drink too much beer.
“Oh, fuck off”, I sat back on the floor and showed my little friend mr. Middle Finger to him. At the same time yesterday’s conversation started to brighten to me. Do I kiss you too much?
“What?”, I heard laugh from his voice. I said that silently aloud, in fact only for myself...
“Nothing”, I said. I leaned on the sink and pushed myself up from the floor. My mirror image had greasy and dirty hair, its kohl was more everywhere else than there where it should have been, and the eyes looked very tired. There was little bit of vomit on the jaw and on tops of the hair. “Oh I look awful. And I smell horrible. I need a shower. I wonder what the hell I was doing last night.”
Farin looked at me with sympathetic face, but there was also little bit of dislike. I couldn’t handle myself: “Don’t look at me like that! I’m German and I like beer, so what?!” I shouted it straight to his face. He looked little bit surprised. I walked by him angry.
“Hey, I didn’t meant it that way”, he said. I heard he was sorry. He said that with real honesty. I felt bad, but I couldn’t say it because of my damn hangover. I needed shower so bad, I needed own time before I could look back to him again. I slammed my door behind me, I didn’t look at him not even once. I was so angry. And my head suffered from it. I’m such an one big asshole.
Hot water ran over me. I washed all that vomit and soil away from my body. My hair started to feel so much lighter and cleaner, when water brought all that grease away. I could almost see black kohl sailing towards a bathtub’s plughole. It felt like water would have brought my bad mood away too.
It felt heavenly, the hot water. I could have just sat there under the shower. I didn’t even remember how relaxing one shower could be. Only minus there was: it didn’t take my headache away.
Thinking the bad water bill what we could have if I sat there still more, I took my towel and walked out.
I saw Farin there in the hall, I smiled and said: “Hello there!”
He turned over and looked at me, like he wouldn’t believe his eyes. “Well hello... you look like sunshine, what is it now?”
“What do you mean?”, I raised my eyebrow. I knew he would do it so much better than I, but I just did it sometimes too. Sometimes we have almost our own War of Eyebrows.
“Just moment ago you shouted like what, and now you smile like little baby”, he still stared at me. “I wonder if you have menstruations, you lady.”
“Hey!”, I exclaimed. He had that stupid habit to call me as lady sometimes, and sometimes as his lady. “I wonder if you stare me like that just because of my very beautiful body.”
He just grinned and winked, and took his black leatherjacket from a rack.
“But hey, where are you going?”, my curiousity grew. If he were going to some nice place without taking me with him!
“Relax, just to market”, he answered. Oh, just market. Boring place, there I don’t wanna go. “If we want to eat something, someone has to go there. And because I’m so nice and you have a hangover, I’ll go.”
I got a big smile on my face. “Sweet. Jan is going to shop just for little Bela.”
He was almost out of the door already, when I remembered: “Hey, buy some beer too!”
He turned over slowly, looking at me with that his annoying look. “I don’t like to buy beer, and I have told you -“
“Yes yes yes, you drink too much blah blah blah”, I looked at him so sweet I ever could, “please?”
He thought for a second, and then said: “Okay then, I hope some paparazzi doesn’t write something about ‘Farin bought beer, is his sayings true?!’”
“We can allways say that you bought that just for me. Our fans know I like beer, and you don’t”, I smiled to him.
“Yeah, right... Anyway, I go now, bye”, he opened the door and stepped outside.
“Yup, bye!”
I went to my room, I dressed my clean clothes on and started to clean my room little bit. There was really lots of empty beer bottles!
Farin came home in about a half an our. While the front door make a sound that meant it closed, I was puttin’ my skulls - my prides, preciouses - in order to my black bookcase. Steps walked in the hall, after it they walked so softly to kitchen. Their owner put food purchasings in the fridge. Steps came back in to hallway, black leather jacket moved on the rack, light steps came close to my room’s doorway. Steps came from flat shoes. Above them I saw long legs covered with dark jeans, black t-shirt and cute blond in it. He was smiling.
“Such a nice day outside”, blond said and leaned to doorway. I looked at the window, sun shined outside, I bet there is warm weather now. Like summer. He opened his mouth again: “Wanna go motorcyclin’?”
“Mmm, why not!”, I got excited. I just love motorcycling!
After a while we sat on Farin’s motorcycle. I was that lucky one who was allowed to drive it! Farin sat before me, his hands were around my waist. We flight like a bird along the roads, wind blew on our faces and my hair was dancing in the air and against Farin’s face (he maybe had some in his mouth too). Finally we left the city after us, found beautiful place with green grass and trees. It was Farin’s idea to find some nice place like this, where we could take our little playful picnic.
Farin climbed off the bike and took the basket. He spread a black blanket on the ground. I went to him and looked what we had in our basket, my expression brightened when I saw it: “Beer for me and milk for you!”
“I had to take some beer to you with us. I just would have felt bad for you”, he looked at me.
“Thank you, Jan”, I smiled.
The grass were so green, that I had never seen so green grass before. It looked also so soft, and I didn’t see any ants or anything anywhere. What would be better than lie on the grass! So I lied down on the ground, and let deep sigh out of my mouth. “This is life, Jan. This is one fucking life!”
“Ya, I know”, he sat on the blanket, he had little milk moustache above his upper lip. “Hey.”
“Mmh?”, I mumbled as answer.
“Say if you don’t talk about this, but... last night...”, he started. I looked at him with face which told him to continue.
“You were pretty drunk afterwards... Well, do you remember what we talked about?”, he had interrogative expression on his face.
“Yes I rememeber something. You said I drink too much, and then we spoke about kissing too much”, I grinned, “And... You asked me something... I was hugging you then.”
“Yup.” One, little word was only what he said.
“I... I don’t... I don’t know what to say”, it was my answer. So, so, damn pure honest. I raised my eyes from the ground, to his eyes. He did not say anything more. He took his acoustic guitar what he brought with him, and played some small, for me unknown melody. Then he also started to sing.
“Du hast Augen, tiefer als das Meer, deine Lippen zart wie Samt”, he had eyes closed, like he usually does when singing from deep of his heart.
“Ich habe dich geküsst, dabei kenne ich dich kaum, und weil du unerreichbar bist.
“Küss ich dich in meinem Traum. Du siehst mich nicht, du fühlst mich nicht, du atmest nicht, du liegst ganz still”, and he stopped singing.
“Um, what’s that? I haven’t heard it before”, notes were crossing in my head. I stood up to sit.
“New song I have been working on”, he said looking at the ground. He rolled little piece of grass on his hands.
“It’s beautiful. Does it have a name?”, I was curious.
“No, it doesn’t have one yet”, now he finally looked at me. “But ya know, what do you think about lyrics?”
“Beautiful, as the song itself too. Why?”, I didn’t wanna say what I really thought about. No, the song and lyrics were really beautiful but... I couldn’t be without thinking about who he was singing about. This our thing... it’s just playing, we are very close friends and we like to flirt and kiss with each other. Sahnie never liked that. But I can’t hide that I have always had little crush on Farin, and I think he knows that too. But the song... it can’t be about me. Or about us. Jan has always had girlfriends - and so am I - and I think it’s so this time too.
“You have some new girl again”, I let it from my mouth. I shouldn’t have been sounded so sad. Actually I wasn’t thinking I would let it out anyway. I didn’t look at him. Right, Bela, this is always been your frailty: fall for people so easily.
“No”, he gave a laugh. “Why you look so sad? Have I talked to you about some girl? No. And you know I always tell you when I have something with someone. Don’t worry about it that I wouldn’t tell to you.”
“Yeah”, I said grimly. I thought there it'd come: But hey, Bela, I haven’t told you yet but now when we started to talk, I thought it would be right time to tell it. Yes, I have a girlfriend now.
“You remember that day you came home with your new hairstyle?”, he started with question.
“Yes, I remember”, I answered, remembering us kissing in the hallway. “I remember very well.”
“So?”, he looked me excited again. I raised my look from the ground to his eyes: “What?”
“‘What?’”, he looked at me like I would be insane. “It’s about you, you stupid! I thought you were smart, but maybe I was wrong!” And he beated the ground with his hand.
“Hey!”, I yelled, surprised of the roasting. And also surprised of his sayings. Is this song really telling about me? About us? I should not have said that, but... it just came. “You’re lying.”
“What?!”, he shouted and stood up. “Why the hell I would lie about song I just wrote? How many times I have lied to you? How many times? About a song or about anything?”
I felt it would be better to stand up too. “Never”, I said. Little bit ashamed. Why I even questioned it? I couldn’t look at him.
“Yes, never”, he said. I felt myself so bad person.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I was just shocked. Okay?”
At least I dared to look him in the eyes. His eyes were flaming, but also I could see them sparkling of the water. Was he crying? Awhile I thought he would hit me and push back on the ground and leave me in here in middle of nowhere, but instead of it I felt arms intertwining tightly around me. Farin hugged me, his chest against mine, and I felt his breathing in my ear. I remembered, he'd never ever hit anybody.
“I’m sorry”, he said. “I shouldn’t have shouted.”
“No, that’s fine”, I answered and hugged him back. “I did wrong too.”
“It took just so much to tell that to you”, he whispered.
“Mmh. And I know I was an idiot, I shouldn’t have called you as a liar”, I said. My heart hurted.
He leaned back, sighed and put his hands on my cheeks, like he would have been holding my head not to fall off. He looked me in the eyes.
“I love you, Bela B.”, he said. I saw from his eyes he was not lying. “I really do. And dare to say I’m lying, and...”, but he grinned to me with that his grin which is almost from one ear to another. I could do nothing than smile back.
“And I love you, Farin Urlaub”, I said. And then he kissed me.
“Mmm... Lips like a velvet”, he mumbled with enjoying expression on his face before kissing me again. I grinned while our lips were again together, like a puzzle. “And you were right, I feel myself much more freer now”, he grinned.
“But hey, do you know now?”, he suddenly sat down on the blanket and smiled to me. After little thinking I did the same.
“I think... yes, I know”, I lied down again. “But what you meant with ‘I know but somehow I don’t’?”
“Well, actually, it all depends... of you.” Me?
“Me?”, I said aloud.
“Yyyyap, you”, he had that sweet look in his eyes. “So, what do you think about us?”
“I, I...”, I started to stutter, but then it all came from my mouth like a shot and I stared far away on the sky, “You are my best friend, we always play with each other, we act like a pair, I always enjoy these moment, I enjoy when I can feelt you close to me, smell you. Sometimes it feels more than that for me, being with guy I have fell in love with, hugging, kissing, cuddling, being just close to him. Being with him, just breathing together, listening another’s breath. To play songs together, kissing while playing, making our fans shout of their exciting. I just love every single second what I can be with you.”
“Oh, Bela”, he said, his eyes were so bright and he looked so much more happier than I had ever seen him. Then he started to laugh so hard! “What the heck, Bela?”
“W-what? What’s so funny?”, I grinned, altought I didn’t know what was so funny for him. I looked at him with curious face.
“You fucking had a crush on me?”, he hold his tummy, “Without telling me?”
“Heh, frankly, it has been like that something after that when you came in Soilent Grün”, I gave a laugh.
“WHAT? Really?”, he couldn’t believe his ears. I nodded. “Oh my god! My fucking best friend!”
“Be careful, I don’t want that man of my dreams dies of laughing”, I said, pretending to be serious. He sat there laughing his ass off, water poured out of his eyes. I felt growing pressure in my head. It just happened, really! I grabbed the neckline of his t-shirt and made him be quiet with long, very long kiss. Right after it was over, he sighed for the sky: “Oh god, I wonder what veeeery good have I done because I got to know this amazing kisser.”
“But Farin”, I said. My flirty mood was on again. “You haven’t said your opinion yet.”
“Aha”, he said. “Well, don’t get depressed I don’t say anything about crushing on you while Soilent Grün -“
“What? Did you mean that mine amazing charm and handsomeness didn’t take your attention”, I pretented to be surprised this time.
“You mean your beauty, don’t you?”, I opened my mouth but didn’t find any time to say anything, “Ofcourse I realized how beautiful drummer there was in our band.”
Usually I’d play mad in this situation, mut this time... well, it wouldn’t fit in! I gave him warning look and nodded him to continue.
He turn his face to sky, and said dreaming: “Well, I’d not object if that beautiful drummer would be now mine beautiful drummer.”
I pouted when he looked at me, “You stupid Jan, haven’t you ever listened to me? I am yours.” He smiled and kissed me. “I’m your handsome drummer.”
His chest was over mine and he grinning said with voice that this would be the end for this conversation: “Nope, you are my very girly and beautiful drummer.”
“Hey!”, I cried out, but he just kissed me again. Then he looked me into my eyes, he got that his very excited face, told me to wait a second and got away from over me. He said he wanted to play that new song from beginning to end. When he got it to end, he smiled:
“Now I have name for it too.”
“What is it?”, I asked, now being excited too.
“Für immer.”
~THE END~
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Well, there it was! Thanks for reading! Please, if you liked it, comment, if you didn't let me know why you didn't like it and what I'd have done better!
But I'm sure this so is not going to be my last Bela/Farin fanfiction! ;)