The Things You've Done to Me
Title: The Things You've Done to Me
Pairing: FeexGee
Disclamer: own'em? me? nah
Rating: Pg-15
Summary:Can Frank forgive Gerard for his mistakes? Can Frank get over his fear?
Warning: Drugs, swearing, mentions of rape
A/N - sorry this didnt work right :@@@
anyways this is a story written by me and my frined Lu. we wrote it mainly in history and maths. it is finished i just got to work out away of posting this without have to do this pfft
anyways enjoy:)
This was going to be so hard for him, and for me; but I just can’t go on like this, he’s getting worse. He needs help. I need help. I need help, but how, where, who can I turn to? I’ve always had to be the strong one. The one who never let anything get to them; No matter how much it hurt. Hurts.
I don’t know how this is going to affect us, us as a band my decision could ruin us. Everything im gonna say will fuck him up so much but I have a right to be happy don’t I?
I want to help him but I need to help myself. This is his entire fault anyway! Why should I even care anymore?!? Screw him! Screw the band! I need to get myself help and stop trying to help people who won’t help themselves.
“Brian, can you call a band meeting please?”
“Err, sure Frank, can I ask why?” Brian was such a great manager and he didn’t need the crap that im about to put him through the guys didn’t deserve it either, well maybe on of them but really my minds made up.
“It’s best to tell you all together.” He nodded and went off to gather them all together.
I sat down; I cannot believe im doing this, ending my career, everything I’ve ever worked for since the age of twelve. The guys all trooped in with nervous looks plastered across there faces.
“Hey baby what is this all about?” he said putting his hand on my shoulder.
I shrugged him off.
“Look guys I love you all, ya know that right? But I’ve got to a cross road in my life and …” I swallowed hard, “I need…” once again I hesitated, “im leaving!” I blurt out; I dashed outta the room not looking behind me.
Mikey ran after me, shouting at me to why?
“Look, you just wouldn’t understand.” I mutter looking at my feet as I stopped.
“Try me!” Mikey wasn’t going to give up so I told him what was running through my head; I was so scared, so venerable.
“Your… brother has destroyed my life, why do you think im leaving? Im going to get myself better, to rehab.” I paused finally telling him what Gerard has done to me, “He’s forced things down my throat. I can’t try and help him, he doesn’t want my help.”
Mikey looked sad, angry even, I knew he was thinking I was taking the easy way out being a coward.
“That doesn’t mean you have to leave.” He sounded calm.
“You don’t understand, Mikey.”
“Yes I do, I’ve been there too remember.” He was losing his patience and with Mikes it wasn’t best to do with his disorder and stuff.
“It was different for you; you had a god damned reason for it.”
“It still doesn’t make it right that you’re running away.” He said making me mad; he was not going to bully me into staying.
“Look Mikes I’ve made my decision and there is nothing you can do or say that to change my mind. Im leaving and if your don’t like it, you know what you can do about it.” I turned and walked away.
The one thing I didn’t know as I walked away was that behind the corner Gerard was breaking down. I didn’t mean to say he had destroyed my life but really if I hadn’t of met the Ways my life would be so simple, so care free, so un-drugs related. Sure I’d probably be working in a dead end job; doing nothing with my life but I’d be clean and safe.
I turned the corner and was met by Gerard’s sobs on seeing me he tensed up. He scrubbed his puffing eyes, his eyeliner smudged and half way down his face. He stared at me, his eyes full of hatred. He turned on his heal and began to walk away.
“Gee?” I whimpered, he turned back and crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive position.
“I-I… didn’t ...” he cut me off his eyes a-blaze.
“Mean to? Is that what you’re gonna say Frankie? Well I don’t wanna here it” his voice cutting though me. His voiced raised and I should have known better than to argue now.
“Gee, please!” I was pleading with him now.
“No Frank, you said some awful things about me.” His voice quivered on the last word, indicating to how much I had hurt him.
“I never meant too.”
“Well you did. I didn’t get you into drugs frank you did that yourself!” his voice getting higher.
“I did what?!?” I screamed at him, how dare he, “you egged me on Gee, and told me it would be fun!” I screeched at him.
“And you as the silly naive little boy, that you’re let me.”
“How Fucked up are you? You’ve seen what drugs have done to Mikey but you still didn’t care. Did you ever care about me? Us? Or was it just the sex you were after, silly little Frankie fell in love how stupid of him. I love you, loved you. I trusted you. You chose it abuse it and do things that any normal human being would be ashamed of, but you no you scared me Gee, how the hell am I meant to trust and love you after that? You fucking raped me! When you were high, and you blame me for that?” I was sobbing my heart out by the end, maybe he’d realized how much damaged he done to me.
“Oh no there is no way you are pining that on me, you were willing Frank I have never forced you into anything.” I was so confused, so hurt, he raped me and was yelling that I consented his voice full of venom, I was asleep!
“WHAT?” I was speechless and defenceless.
“Raping you, I never forced you into anything.” He repeated
“Oh yeah?” I found a new determined voice although I was breaking, shattering inside.
“Yeah!” he yelled again stepping towards my quivering figure.
“Gee?” I looked through my bangs, I whimpered as he walked around me, I turned and so did he. He walked forward towards me; I backed up until I had my shaking back touching the dirty wall. Gerard loomed over me hiding my shaking figure with his shadow.
“H…how h…hi…high are you?” I stuttered as I tried disappearing into the wall.