The love of my life
My love is dead, Amanda Whitney Brower age 23 died on oct 16 2003, Comitted suicide with a colt 45 in her mouth, she set up towels as not to make a mess, She was my feonce, my best friend, and the thing that keped me going through my life now dead, today is her aniverary. All i can do is wonder why she did it, what happend to make her feel like something like this is nessisary, what could possibly of happend to make her do such a terriable thing. I LOVED HER, with all my soul my being and my strength, if i could have been there if she would have talked to me i could have saved her. I COULD HAVE SAVED MY HALO, so now i sit, on the aniversary of my loves death, drunk and by myself, as it should be. if i have no one, then this pain wont double and happen again. i cant be this way but i cant help it. what am i to do, i have no escape and im alone, no girl, no money, no life, NO EMOTION. all i have is my beer my room and my music. im not a whiny daddy never hugged me ass hole, im not some emo kid that crys when he ties his shoes in the morning. im a person, a person who has had tragity after tragity in his life. i cant make this pain go away, this seering pain in my chest where my heart used to be.
where my heart used to be
ive come to the conclution that this is true, every time i follow my heart i get hurt or used or hated in the end. and thats not how its going to be this time or ever again
no one should see me like this, no one should feel like this, i dont want to be alone, but i have to- i have to be alone because my door is unlocked and no one can even come see me, i take that back, come see me , come see the look in my eyes and you will all see what true pain feels like thrue my eyes.
Charlie Field Heart died oct 16 2003
where my heart used to be
ive come to the conclution that this is true, every time i follow my heart i get hurt or used or hated in the end. and thats not how its going to be this time or ever again
no one should see me like this, no one should feel like this, i dont want to be alone, but i have to- i have to be alone because my door is unlocked and no one can even come see me, i take that back, come see me , come see the look in my eyes and you will all see what true pain feels like thrue my eyes.
Charlie Field Heart died oct 16 2003