Blah.
Work seems to be all I ever do. And lately I've been feeling rather depressed because my grandma almost certainly has pancreatic cancer. She's almost 80. My mom works at the doctor's office. The doctors told her that if it is cancer, she has about six months to live. She's already lost a bunch of weight and she's very weak. No muscle. Can't really walk around. She's also in pain and not feeling well all the time. What makes matters worse is that she refuses to have a biopsy done to see if it is cancer for sure. I told her that I feel like she should at least know what it is. She said, "Why should I want to know?". If it is cancer, all they would be able to do for her is give her chemo and I doubt they would want to do that either given her weakened state. And surgery is out of the question. So I just don't know how to deal with it. It's caused me to miss work because I already have an anxiety disorder and when things stress me out it makes that condition all that much worse. I don't really want to lose my grandma to cancer. Cancer is affecting everyone. It's happening all around. I'm just having a rough time dealing. Nothing else is going on really. But I'm glad.