Weddings make me pissy....
So Jason's friend from work (Misty) is getting married in the first week in June. I don't really want to go, but I'm invited. If I don't go, Jason and Misty will be rather disappointed. But hear me out on this... weddings make me very depressed. Call it envy, I don't care. I very badly want to get married to Jason. I want him to ask me to marry him. Thinking about anything to do with getting married makes me sad. He's been making excuses, or reasons, why he isn't ready to ask me. He has said "I have to ask your dad first. It's traditional to ask the father." If he actually FOLLOWED his family's traditions, we wouldn't be having sex. So he was ready to take my virginity some years ago, and still isn't ready to commit to me? That doesn't seem fair. He's also said things like "I don't have a car." and "There are some things about you that make me feel like I couldn't marry you." (Meaning my personality being so free-spirited and zany, but he later apologized.)
I just want us to move on and become a family. I'm ready to live with him and have a life together. Knowing that he is afraid to even talk to me about engagement or marriage really discourages me. I hoped he was the one... The waiting is very disconcerting.
I just want us to move on and become a family. I'm ready to live with him and have a life together. Knowing that he is afraid to even talk to me about engagement or marriage really discourages me. I hoped he was the one... The waiting is very disconcerting.