Waffle House Does MCMGs Dirty
So I'm in Orlando the day before a pay-per-view trying to figure out costume designs, answers to discussion board questions for my World History Civilizations class, tactics for the Ultimate X Match tomorrow, what to do next in regards to The High Crusade album entitled It's Not What You Think, and all I can think about is what a cruel joke it is to be named Broom...Broom!
There are some things in our lives that we simply have no control over, and your name generally would fall into that category. In my 27 years on the planet, I've realized that all you can do is roll with the punches, you know? Make the best of a bad situation, make lemonade out of lemons, look for the silver lining in the clouds, all that caper. I wasn't always like that; I used to have a pretty bad temper, but since I've grown up a bit I've realized that getting angry is usually just a colossal waste of energy.
Wrestling's cool in the fact that sometimes you're given the creative freedom to be whatever you'd like. You can imitate, create, and animate. Truly, it's as much an art form as a sport. In fact, I'll be totally honest here and own up to Alex Shelley not being my real name. That's NOT what's on my birth certificate. Shocking that someone in wrestling would have a fake name, huh? As radical a name as Razor Ramon was, I don't think it was on anyone's driver's license. I got my name by combining the first name of the main character from A Clockwork Orange and the last name of the singer/songwriter of one of my favorite bands at the time, The Buzzcocks.
But Broom? Goodness gracious. It's got to be short for Broomhilda (sp?), right? Hand to God, I thought that name existed in jokes and fairytales exclusively.
Man, was I wrong. It existed at the Waffle House in Pensacola, FL on March 19, 2010. You'd think that having such a brutal name combined with her less than appealing aesthetic appearance and the fact that she was our waitress, she'd at least be nice. Look, I personally think bodies and looks are just shells that house souls. The souls are absolutely the most important part of one's being, but I won't kid myself into thinking that the waitresses at Hooters, Wing House, and The Landing Strip make the majority of their tips because of the aforementioned souls.
Much like her namesake, her personality was equally bristly. She took forever to get our food, she took forever to get our checks, and she may have forever ruined a pretty big opportunity, because I'm in Orlando and my tag team partner Chris Sabin is still in Mobile, AL puking his guts out because of the food poisoning acquired at our post match meal.
Maybe it wasn't even Broom's fault, I don't know. I do know up until yesterday, I really liked Waffle House. She just iced the cake, I guess. Still, if we lose our number one contender's match at TNA Destination X against the Rockers to our Midnights, I really hope karma's legit, and you get awful food service from a mean spirited waitress before something important in your life is about to happen!
Phew. I feel a lot better. By the way, the new Black Rebel Motorcycle Club album is really awesome. I highly suggest Conscience Killer, Mama Taught Me Better, and The River Styx off it.
Hey. You. Yeah, you. Thanks for listening. -@Lx
Spike.com